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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Waiting.

I am pretty kitchen savvy. Perfecting homemade cookies is one of most favorite past times. Cookies from scratch require a bit of a time commitment. I love spending hours in the kitchen in my apron, dirtying every mixing bowl and counter surface. I love to take the time.

Today I really wanted a cookie. I didn't want to wait and spend the time by making my own dough. I found premade sugar cookie dough in the fridge. I decided I didn't feel like waiting for the oven to heat up for 10 minutes, and an additional 12 minutes to cook just two tiny cookies. So I decided to bake them in the toaster oven to save a bit of time. It went great for about two minutes. Suddenly the aroma of smoke filled the kitchen. The cookies were so burnt. All because I didn't want to wait. (I should've taken a picture, they were awful!)

I really am a pretty patient person... when I want to be. I have patience on the road, waiting in line, with crying babies, small children, and other things that make other people scream. People often tell me they admire my patience.

They just don't know the inner thoughts screaming, "Why is this taking so long?!??" "When is it my turn?!?" "How much longer can I take this??!?"

My life isn't quite how I envisioned it. I didn't think at this part of my life I would be alone. I had often thought I would have a husband and lots of beautiful babies by now. I have become frustrated with God, asking when it would be my time. I have grown annoyed with waiting. But the past few weeks more than ever, I am grateful its just me. I wouldn't be able to leave for six weeks if I was a momma. God has a plan bigger than I could comprehend. (1 Corinthians 2:9 But as it is written: “ Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” )

I know His timing is perfect. Waiting on Him is the best plan.

Waiting on Him is hard. Waiting on His provision is annoying. Trying to figure out finances from now til April is stressful.

But, remembering that when I take matters into my own hands and my own timing, I make a hot mess. Things get broken, and burnt, and fall apart.

So I will continue to trust in His timing. I will wait patiently on Him. I will believe He called me to go, so He will make a way. I will have faith in His faithfulness. My God will come through. I want His best for me.

Psalm 25:5 Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; On You I wait all the day.

Psalm 25:21 Let integrity and uprightness preserve me, For I wait for You.

Psalm 27:14 Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait,I say, on the LORD!

Psalm 37:7 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret...

Psalm 40:1 I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me, And heard my cry.

Psalm 52:9 I will praise You forever, Because You have done it; And in the presence of Your saints I will wait on Your name, for it is good.
Psalm 62:5 My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him.

Psalm 69:3 I am weary with my crying; My throat is dry; My eyes fail while I wait for my God.

Psalm 130:5 I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, And in His word I do hope.

Psalm 130:6 My soul waits for the Lord More than those who watch for the morning— Yes, more than those who watch for the morning.

Isaiah 40:31 But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles,They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.

Tomorrow is Friday! Still so very much to do on my to do list. But hoping to check more things off this weekend. I am starting to feel better. Lots of rest, motrin, and my beloved chiropractor has helped.

Excited to write more of His faithfulness this weekend. I know big things are going to happen.

Love, M

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