Rethinking why I choose to wait on the Lord

I recently stumbled across a blog that frustrated me.

Without being rude or arguing for the sake of arguing, I want to share why it upset me so much.

The title of this woman's blog was "Re-Thinking Waiting On The Lord For Husbands For Our Daughters".

She begins her post by saying, "We told our girls who have heart’s desire to marry that they should, “Wait on the LORD to bring you a husband. It needs to be the right man, and the right time, God’s time.” And while I agree with that teaching in some ways, in other ways it is creating older daughters who are still unmarried at 32." ... "And I know, sometimes even in our best efforts our daughters may still not marry at an early age."

I believe there is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting on the Lord, and believing in His perfect timing. I also believe there is nothing wrong with being unmarried at 25, 27, 32, or even 37.

She then states, "We can’t fight the enemy at the gates if our kids don’t have a family, and families start with marriage."

In 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, Paul talks about single women, and how they can serve more and be more focused on pleasing the Lord, without distractions. Married women have the wonderful gift of serving and taking care of their husbands. One is not better than the other, they are just different.

Because I am single, I am able to travel and love on people in other countries for months at a time, not missing my family. I can share the name of Jesus in downtown Detroit, and not worry that I won't be home in time to fix dinner. I can pour into lives on a weekly basis for hours, loving them, mentoring them, and encouraging them, without a man wanting me home to love and encourage him.

Don't get me wrong, I would absolutely love to have a husband. I dream about my arms being full of curly haired babies. I want to have dinner on the table every night for my family when my man walks in the door. But that isn't my current reality. I am a single girl, sometimes struggling to be content, and in the mean time, serving Jesus and others.

I have seen friends confess Jesus, babies healed, lives transformed, broken families reunited, and people living free, all because of the power of the name of Jesus. That is what will allow us to fight the enemy, and that alone. The battle against the enemy will not be won because people had a lot of babies. Lives will be transformed and the enemy will be defeated because of Jesus.

She goes on to say, "Biologically speaking, this is alarming (age of marriage rising) as we are all well aware that the older a woman gets, the fewer children she will have, and if she waits until she’s 40+ to marry, the chances of her having any children are rare indeed."

Do not be quick to forget who our God is. He is the Great I Am. He is the one who caused a woman in her 90's (Sarah- Genesis 17:17) to give birth to Isaac, the son of promise. He is the one who gave a baby boy to a woman who for years was barren. (Hannah- 1Samuel 1) He is also the Almighty who placed a baby in the womb of a virgin! (Mary- Matthew 1:18)

I have been told I need to 'hurry up" for a couple of years now. I know that my biological clock is beginning to tick, but even more, I know the One who causes it to tick. He alone is the one that opens and closes wombs. If one day He chooses to give me eight babes, or an empty house, He will still be good, and He will still be God. My ultimate goal in life is not to have a home full of children. It is to honor Jesus.

She then finishes up with, "Prayer is essential, yes, but we can’t leave it at that. (We) can’t just sit back and wait for the LORD to supernaturally bring a wonderful young man into the lives of our daughters..."

In her blog she recommends parents trying new churches with their daughters to look for a husband, having people over for cookouts, and encourages parents to find their son-in-law.

I have often wondered what kind of man my parents would pick for me. I'm sure he would be wonderful, and handsome. But as much as my parents love me, they don't know what I truly need. The man they pick could just be a good actor. He may appear to be a man that loves Jesus, or he could just know what to say, and not say. I want the man that God chooses for me. Our God knows the heart, thoughts, and intentions of man. 1 Samuel 16:7 says, "But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”"

Cross references:

1. 1 Samuel 16:7 : Ps 147:10
2. 1 Samuel 16:7 : S 1Sa 2:3; 2Sa 7:20; S Ps 44:21; S 139:23; S Rev 2:23

Prayer is so important. James 5:16 says, "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." I believe God hears our prayers, and honors them, in His timing. His Word says that He works all things together for good for those that love Him, and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) I believe that He is working this out. The Bible also reminds us in a few places not to worry. So I will choose not to worry, and believe that God knows what is best for me.

Our God's very nature is that He is supernatural. Everything He does screams that. Creation is just the beginning of His handiwork. The entire Bible tells of Him making the blind see, calming the storms with His voice, calling down fire from heaven, freeing an entire nation from captivity, and changing water to wine, just to name a few. John 21:25 says, "Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written." It is natural to His being to perform miracles, do things that only He can, and bring glory to His name.

I am learning that waiting is not a passive thing. Sitting at home and knitting is not necessarily the best way to meet your husband. But, it is not outside the realm of possibilities for God to send him to your front door. Do the things you love. Be involved in the areas you are passionate about. Go on adventures. Serve the least of these. Don't put your life on hold waiting on him to show up. Don't be waiting for him to ring the doorbell, meet him on the front porch.

I will continue to serve whether or not I have a husband by my side, or a baby on my hip. I will strive to honor Jesus, even when it is difficult. And I will seek to find contentment in whatever state I am in, because of Jesus.

I hope you know my heart was not to be hurtful, but to really just share where I was coming from.

Love, M

You can read her full blog post here. 

Loving an orphaned girl in Cochabamba, Bolivia.

Being Content While Single : Adventure

 

 

Today is my last official post for this series. I am saddened to see it come to a close. I have enjoyed reading your comments. They have blessed me more than you could know. It boggles my mind that I don't know most of you, and yet God is allowing me to speak to you. I feel so under qualified and inadequate to share on being content while single, because a lot of days, I'm not. Thank you for letting me share my honest, not always glamorous life with you all. It brings my heart comfort to know I am not alone. You are wonderful. Keep those comments coming! I will draw a name tomorrow morning for one lucky reader to win some of my favorite things!

 

Adventure. I love adventure. Or at least I love the idea of it.

 

Last Valentine's Day I got on a plane all by myself, and flew down to Cochabamba, Bolivia. I didn't know anyone there. I went to work in orphanages for six weeks. Six weeks may not seem like a long time, but because it was the farthest away from home I had ever been, the longest time away I have ever been, and the first time truly alone, I was freaking out a little bit. I set out on my journey full of ideas of adventure and knowing my Jesus was going with me.

 

I had been told by people growing up that I would never really go anywhere. I would always be here, just stuck because I was too scared to go and do. They had their reasons to believe it. I was a very shy girl growing up. I didn't get my driver's license until I was a freshmen in college. I never went away to college. And then I never ended up finishing. I love being around my family, and just being home. I never wanted to move out of my parents' house, even after I was married. My plan was always to graduate high school, meet a nice man, and have babies. All of course by 23, because that is how every woman in my family has done it.

 

But that isn't me, anymore. My family lost our house my junior year of college, and I moved out and into my own place. It was frightening. But, God began to teach me to rely on Him, to trust that He will provide, and that He is always faithful. He taught me to dream. It was there in the quiet walls of that little apartment that He began to transform my heart. He became my best friend.

 

My dream to become a missionary began when I was four years old. My dad went on a building mission trip, and when he came home he told me stories. I was shocked that people around this world didn't know about Jesus, little babies didn't have parents, and churches didn't have buildings. I knew that this was what I wanted to do when I was older.

 

In high school, I went to Jamaica three times and served in orphanages. In college, I went to Guatemala, Honduras, and a reservation in Arizona to serve. But it wasn't until I went to Bolivia, alone, for six weeks, that I suddenly believed in my dreams and adventure. I really began to believe in myself, and that God could use me, even without a man beside me.

 

God has taught me so much when I am alone, and adventuring with Him.

 

I know that not everyone can relate to wanting to live in a developing country to work with orphans. And I have to remember that isn't my life currently. My heart may be beating for South America, but the rest of me needs to live here, in the now. I need to believe that God can use me wherever I am, I can choose to be content wherever I am, and I can dream and have adventures wherever I am.

 

So, I may not be getting on a plane today to fly somewhere crazy and new, but a sense of adventure is a good thing to have everyday.

 

God has been revealing a lot to me, about me lately. I have found myself holding out on doing things, just in case "he" shows up. Okay, I am now realizing that is not healthy, but before, I didn't even realize I was doing it.

 

I am learning adventure isn't just plane rides and trips. Adventure can be doing something you have always wanted to do, but for some reason haven't. Adventure can be small or huge. It is up to you to decide what it means to you.

 

My hair adventure:

My hair has always been brown and curly. But, I have always secretly wanted to have blonde straight hair. I never would change it, because honestly I wanted my hair to be long, brown, and curly for my wedding. I felt like I couldn't change it because my man may show up, and want to get married, and my hair was the wrong color. I hope you're laughing, because as I am writing this, I am. Who thinks like this?!? I was so caught up in worrying about plans that were not happening, I couldn't focus on living in the now. I am proud to say that now, I am a blondie. I don't know how long I will keep it this color, but I am loving it. And I am so thankful that I finally let myself make my own decision.

 

My kitchen adventure:

I love to bake. Put me in the kitchen, and I am a happy woman. Since I moved out unexpectedly, I didn't have all of the wonderful kitchen gadgets I wanted, I didn't even have the basics. So over the past three years, I gathered the basic essentials for my kitchen. I always avoided buying the things I really wanted because I thought that I could just register for what I wanted when I got engaged. (Once again, what was I thinking?!) I wasn't allowing myself to live in the now because I was so concerned about the future. So, on New Year's Eve, I went to the mall with my best friend from Japan, and used all of my Christmas money on kitchen things. The night before I had made a wish list, after reading hundreds of product reviews. It was one of the best feelings to do what I wanted, and not wait on a man. I loved my best friend chasing down a man who was working to help him find a specific zester I had on my wish list. He didn't even know what a zester was, but he found it. When I checked out, the lady working asked me what I was buying everything for. When I told it was all for me, she gave me a weird look, but I didn't care. I was living for me. I had always wanted a stand up Kitchen Aid mixer, and God blessed me with one! (Read the story here!) So now my kitchen is stocked with the good stuff, and I can bake to my little heart's content, knowing I'm not waiting on a man to buy a pie pan.

 

My serving adventures:

I live near Pontiac, Michigan. Pontiac is a rough city. It is located in between Flint and Detroit, two of the most dangerous cities in the country. But for some odd reason, I love Pontiac. I know my friends and family do not always love my love for the city. I have served by walking the streets early in the morning handing breakfast to the homeless. (Read the story here!) I have gathered coats, mittens, and hats for the homeless in Flint. I have served at community bbqs for low income neighborhoods. Every time I drive down there, it is an adventure. So much uncertainty surrounds me. Who will I meet? How can I meet their needs? How can I point someone to Jesus today? I love it.

Social media is perfect breeding grounds for boredom and discontentment. I challenge you to log off, and find adventure this week. There are people everywhere that need to be loved.

Friday's question: What is stopping you from living the life you want? What are you going to do about it?

 

 

 

 

GiveAWay Info: I will be giving a way a prize pack with some of my favorite goodies at the end of this series! Today is the last day to enter!! There is only one prize. You can enter every day of the week by answering the question at the end of each daily blog. You can go back to previous days blogs for additional entries. Leave a comment with your name, city and state, and your answer to my question to be entered in this week's prize pack! I will announce the winner in a post on Saturday, April 13th, 2013. The winner will have to contact me via email at michelletobolivia@gmail.com with their mailing address to receive their prize. Good luck! Prize Pack includes: The book Praying for Your Future Husband: Preparing Your Heart for His, Measuring cups and spoons, Nivea lip balm, Revlon nail polish, and a Bath and Body Work's lemon candle.

 

The Complete Series:

 

Intro

Day One: Identity
Day Two: Love

Day Three: Prayer

Day Four: Truth Day Five: Adventure

 

 

Being Content While Single : Truth

 

 

Hello Day Four! Wow! This week and this series is flying by!!

 

Today I want to talk about the importance of truth and truth tellers in your life.

 

As a single girl, we often hear lies. Lies can come from many places; whispers in your mind that you are not good enough to have a man, thoughts that God has forgotten about you, overheard conversations of church women saying there must be something wrong with you, feelings of hopelessness, the reminder that everyone is moving on while you just stay single and stuck, and of course, there are others. These are all lies.

 

You deserve to be loved. You are a treasure.You are wonderful.You are not forgotten. There is a plan.

 

Quiet the enemy's lies with truth from God's Word. "When there is a fight between your heart and your head, experience has taught me that the best thing to do is pick up your Bible and remind yourself of what God says. ... You need to return to the truth of God's Word that will last forever, not meditate on circumstances that will change and fade." (Undaunted Caine) God's Word is the only absolute truth. It is unchanging, unwavering, and always consistent. Be in the Word.

 

I also think it is very important to have 3 certain types of people in your life: a single friend, a friend that hasn't been married long, an an older friend that has been married for a while. They all need to point you back to the truth of God's Word, give sound advice that aligns with Truth, and won't be  afraid to call you out on stuff.

 

I love weddings, but I would be lying to you, if I told you I jumped up and down every time I received an invitation in the mail. Sometimes it is just plain hard to be excited for your friends when you feel like you are missing out. One of my best friends gave me great advice. She reminded me that none of these girls were marrying my man. He was still out there, waiting for me. Just because my friends are getting married and moving on, doesn't change anything from the plan God has for me. Instead of being sulky and bitter, I needed to choose to rejoice for my friends. I have clung to that piece of advice through a couple of wedding seasons, multiple babies being born, and friends buying houses. I am so grateful I have a friend who loves me enough to tell me in truth and love to get over myself. :)

 

I called my dad sobbing the other day. (I hate being an emotional girl. I am not even sure why I started crying that day, but I ended up crying because I am still single, and it doesn't feel fair, and its wedding season.) My dad is the kindest, wisest, and godliest man I know. He reminded me to wait on God's timing. I told him that it felt like it was never going to happen for me, I was going to be alone forever. He then told me, "Michelle, I really don't think so. God has a plan, and you are in it." What wise words. It stopped me mid sob. I needed that truth in that exact moment. God does have a plan, and I am in it. I am so thankful I have a dad who will tell me truth, even if I am an emotional basket case.

 

One of my best friends is just like me. We're two peas in a pod when it comes to being single, loving Jesus, and wanting adventure. We often have long talks, multiple nights a week. We talk about everything under the sun. Often the topic of marriage and our future husbands come up. We pray together, laugh together, and share dreams together. When she speaks truth into my life, it is sometimes softer than someone else's voice. She understands my struggles, because they are her struggles. She will let me talk all of my frustration out, then will ask a question that makes me really think, and points me back to truth. She doesn't fall for my excuses, and won't let me make them. She knows me too well. She doesn't beat around the bush, and I trust what she says, because I know she is actually saying it to both of us. It is such a blessing to be best friends and single together. I often pray that our husbands show up the same day, so the other is not left behind.

 

I also have a friend that has been married around 10 years. She gives me occasional glimpses into her marriage that are truthful. She doesn't pretty up situations, or act like marriage is always the easiest thing ever. I really appreciate her honesty that marriage is hard, but worth it. Years ago she told me that some mornings when she wakes up, she doesn't feel like loving her husband, but that love is a choice, not a feeling. It is shown in actions, not just by words. I am so thankful I have her giving me real, truthful wisdom.

 

Honestly, I didn't want to write this blog. I didn't want to share my struggles with people I don't even know. I wanted to avoid talking about how I cry far too much, how I often struggle with being content, and how I often believe the enemy's lies. I didn't want to appear desperate, emotional, or crazy. But I know this is what I was supposed to write today. I am a work in progress, and God is teaching me daily what it means to find contentment in Him. Today just seems like it is a bit more of a struggle. So, I pray something in here made sense, and that God can use it for His good, because I feel like a bit of a tired mess today.

 

Thank you for joining me on this journey! It really has been incredible.

 

Have a lovely afternoon.

 

Love, Michelle

 

Thursday's question: Who in your life brings you truth and points you back to the Bible?

 

 

 

GiveAWay Info: I will be giving a way a prize pack with some of my favorite goodies at the end of this series! There is only one prize. You can enter every day of the week by answering the question at the end of each daily blog. You can go back to previous days blogs for additional entries. Leave a comment with your name, city and state, and your answer to my question to be entered in this week's prize pack! I will announce the winner in a post on Saturday, April 13th, 2013. The winner will have to contact me via email at michelletobolivia@gmail.com with their mailing address to receive their prize. Good luck! Prize Pack includes: The book Praying for Your Future Husband: Preparing Your Heart for His, Measuring cups and spoons, Nivea lip balm, Revlon nail polish, and a Bath and Body Work's lemon candle.

 

The Complete Series:

Intro

Day One: Identity
Day Two: Love

Day Three: Prayer

Day Four: Truth Day Five: Adventure

 

 

Don't forget to check out the other 15 blogs in this series about Intentional Living!

 

linking up with:Cornerstone Confessions

Being Content While Single : Prayer

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome to Wednesday! The week is half way over!

 

Today I want to talk about praying for our husbands. I know, you're single, you don't know him yet. Well, neither do I. But I don't think that should stop us from praying for them. The God we pray to is well aware of who our men are, so when we pray for them, although we don't know who they are, He already does. And that same God, hears our prayers.

 

I want to interject that by praying for them, I do not mean asking God to send them sooner. I have often prayed that, but today I am talking about something totally different.

 

A few months ago two other girls and I did a Bible study. We decided to do a book study, and somehow stumbled upon the book, Praying for Your Future Husband. (This book is part of the giveaway!) It changed my world. It pointed me to Christ, and to the Bible in such a real way.

 

This book encouraged me to pray for my man in real ways. Not just prayers for our future marriage, but actually praying for him right now, wherever he is.

 

This has changed my view of a lot of things. I realize my husband is a real man, right now. He is already born, grown, and living life somewhere. (When I pray for him, I always picture him in Africa, is that weird?) He has real struggles, problems, and disappointments. My prayers right now can effect him, right now. I may not know him, or his exact problem, but I believe that when I pray for patience, strength, and protection, God knows what he needs in that moment, and He hears my prayers. What a unbelievably incredible way to impact his life before even meeting him!

 

One of the biggest bonuses of praying for my future husband, is that it has brought so much contentment and peace to my heart. I am not sure how it works, but I know the more I pray for this very real man, the more faith I have in God's plan, and the more at ease my heart feels.

 

 "Trust also means believing your prayers will work in the life of your future husband even though you can't see him today. ... You have most likely not met him yet, but your prayers will make a difference in his life. As you pray, you too are changed. You're building your trust. You're placing your hopes in God's hands, and there's no better place they can be." (Praying for your Future Husband-Preparing Your Heart for His Gunn and Goyer)

 

Another thing praying for my future husband has done for me, is put things into perspective. When I think about some girl kissing my husband right now, I don't like it. The same is true for him, I'm sure he doesn't want some random guy kissing his future wife. The more I pray for him, the more I realize I want to remain pure for him. I want to save the late night conversations, the flirting, the cuddles, and the sharing of hopes and dreams. It is teaching me to guard those things close, because there is only one man worthy of unlocking them, and he isn't here yet.

 

I have a little notebook with random ramblings. They are letters and notes to my husband. I long for the day to sit down and read them with him. I can't wait to hear his side of the stories of the nights I woke up from a deep sleep with him on my heart, and protection on my mind. What was he doing? How did God answer my prayers? While I was out serving Jesus, was he doing the same? What situations was he in while I prayed for clarity in making decisions? I have dated my letters, in great anticipation of hearing his adventures that just may correspond with my prayers.

 

I know praying for him now is also good practice for being a praying wife, and a praying mother one day. It is a good habit to start now.

 

I urge you to begin praying for your husbands. I have had the most incredible few months of trusting God, and learning contentment while praying for mine. I know it may be a slightly strange concept to some of you, but I encourage you to try.

 

Have a great day! Love, Michelle

Wednesday's question: What are 3 things you can pray for your future husband right now?

 

 

 

GiveAWay Info: I will be giving a way a prize pack with some of my favorite goodies at the end of this series! There is only one prize. You can enter every day of the week by answering the question at the end of each daily blog. You can go back to previous days blogs for additional enteries. Leave a comment with your name, city and state, and your answer to my question to be entered in this week's prize pack! I will announce the winner in a post on Saturday, April 13th, 2013. The winner will have to contact me via email at michelletobolivia@gmail.com with their mailing address to receive their prize. Good luck! Prize Pack includes: The book Praying for Your Future Husband: Preparing Your Heart for His, Measuring cups and spoons, Nivea lip balm, Revlon nail polish, and a Bath and Body Work's lemon candle.

The Complete Series:

Intro

Day One: Identity
Day Two: Love

Day Three: Prayer

Day Four: Truth Day Five: Adventure

 

 

 

Don't forget to check out the other 15 blogs also doing the Intentional Living Series. You will be encouraged! I know I have been so far!

 

 

 

 

 

Being Content While Single : Love

 

 

Happy Tuesday! Welcome back to my series on Being Content While Single.

 

Today's topic is about love. I know, I know, hold up, you're a single girl, there is no love connection going on for you. So, why am I talking about it? Well, because I think loving yourself is pretty important, man or no man.

 

What do I mean by loving yourself? Nothing too profound, I promise. I think it is important to know what you like and don't like. Treat yourself with respect, and take good care of yourself. Learn to love spending time with yourself.

 

Believe that you really are wonderful. You have value. You are beautiful. You are uniquely special. It's true. I promise.

 

Discover what you like. How do you really like your coffee? Take time to figure it out. (My personal favorite right now is strong coffee with brown sugar and a bit of whole milk.) Don't just like something because you always have. Try new things, and discover what you like and don't like. (I thought I always hated coconut until I made the best coconut chocolate cookies for a friend last year, and quickly became obsessed with coconut! Who knew?)

 

What do you enjoy doing for fun? Get out there and do it. I love to swing on swing sets, put on an apron and bake for hours, go on barefoot walks in the fall, shop for random vintage things, eat ice cream in a cone with sprinkles, and lay in the middle of the grass with a good book and the sunshine to keep me company. Find activities you love, and do them. Do something small everyday to put a smile on your face.

 

Don't let yourself not do what you enjoy because you're always waiting for someone to join you.

 

Taking time for yourself is one of the healthiest things you can do. We all are busy, and it is important to relax.Take yourself on dates. (It's not pathetic, I promise.) (Just think about it, no one to steal your popcorn, or talk over the best parts, and you get to see whatever movie you want!) I try to give myself one date night a week. Sometimes that doesn't work, but I try my best to be alone more than just sleeping. Schedule time with yourself just like you would any friend. Put it in your calendar, and don't break your appointment. It is so easy to be busy, and never spend time with yourself, but I think you miss out on spending time with and getting to know a great girl, YOU! (I know that was kinda cheesy, but it is so true!)

 

Get beautified for yourself. Yes of course, getting all dolled up for a hot date is fun, but why not treat yourself the same way? You are wonderful. Buy the new mascara, and have fun with your lashes. Get those stunning stilettos out of of the closet for a fun night out. Try out a new hair style, just for fun. I recently am beginning to embrace this. I was turning into a bit of a bum lately. In the past month or so I have intentionally styled my hair, and put some make up on (even if it was just mascara and burt's bees lip balm) even if I was just wearing yoga pants and a tee shirt. Looking good helps you feel good.

 

Learn to disconnect. Get off facebook, pinterest, instagram, twitter, your phone, email, and all other means of constant communication. Unplug for a while. Nothing too important is going to happen while you take a three hour break. And if it does, you will get to it when you turn your phone back on. I struggle with this one. I like the idea of it, but sometimes the reality of it is another story. Social media is really good at getting you to compare yourself with others. A break can be a really positive thing, even if its only for an afternoon. On my alone night, I turn my phone off, and put it on the charger in another room, and just hang out with myself. It is an easy way to really focus on you time.

 

 

GiveAWay Info: I will be giving a way a prize pack with some of my favorite goodies at the end of this series! There is only one prize. You can enter every day of the week by answering the question at the end of each daily blog. Leave a comment with your name, city and state, and your answer to my question to be entered in this week's prize pack! I will announce the winner in a post on Saturday, April 13th, 2013. The winner will have to contact me via email at michelletobolivia@gmail.com with their mailing address to receive their prize. Good luck!

 

Tuesday's question: What are 2 ways you can focus on loving yourself this month?

 

Love, Michelle

 

 

 

 

 

The Complete Series:

Intro

Day One: Identity
Day Two: Love

Day Three: Prayer

Day Four: Truth Day Five: Adventure

 

 

 

Being Content While Single: Identity

Happy Monday! And welcome to my first official day of my new series, Intentional Living: Being Content While Single.

Today I want to share what I believe is the most important component to being content while single, identity. I believe identity can make you or break you. Who you think you are will influence how you act and how you live.

Your true identity will not be found once you have a ring on your finger, a man at your side, or a baby on your hip. You are more than that.

Your identity must come not from changing circumstances, but from Christ alone, who is the only steady force in our lives. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

Here are a couple of my favorite truths and verses that do not change.
 
You are a daughter of the King. “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters,
says the Lord Almighty." 2 Corinthians 6:18 "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" 1 John 3:1
 
He rejoices over you. The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with his singing. Zephaniah 3:17

He chose you on purpose, individually chosen for himself. Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12

He has a plan.  For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

He has forgiven you. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

He is always with you. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6

He loves you. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. Psalm 13:5 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

When we first find our identity in Christ, over others and things, we become a more steadfast person. We are not as likely to be pushed around by emotions of bitterness, worry, anger, jealousy, resentment, worthlessness, and other feelings. We can know that we are loved, and that doesn't ever change due to our relationship status. We can know that regardless of our Friday night plans, we have a God who thinks we are beautiful. Despite our ideas of what we thought we would have in our lives by now, we have a God who knows the whole plan, and is working it out for our good, in His perfect timing. We are treasured daughters of the King. He rejoices over us.

You are loved by the relentless lover, you are forgiven more than you know, you are known by the God of the universe, and He even calls you by name.

We didn't have to choose Him, He already chose us.

So, stop with the worry, rest in Him, and remember who you really are.

Even as [in His love] He chose us [actually picked us out for Himself as His own] in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy (consecrated and set apart for Him) and blameless in His sight, even above reproach, before Him in love.For He foreordained us (destined us, planned in love for us) to be adopted (revealed) as His own children through Jesus Christ, in accordance with the purpose of His will [because it pleased Him and was His kind intent] (Ephesians 1:4-5 Amplified Bible)

When we realize our identity truly is in Him, we can rest in His arms, knowing He loves us, and that will never change.

GiveAWay Info: I will be giving a way a prize pack with some of my favorite goodies at the end of this series! There is only one prize. You can enter every day of the week by answering the question at the end of each daily blog. Leave a comment with your name, city and state, and your answer to my question to be entered in this week's prize pack! I will announce the winner in a post on Saturday, April 13th, 2013. The winner will have to contact me via email at michelletobolivia@gmail.com with their mailing address to receive their prize. Good luck!

Monday's question: What is your favorite verse that reminds you of your true identity?

Happy Monday.

Love, M

Be on the lookout for a giveaway at the end of the week!

 

 

The Complete Series:

Intro

Day One: Identity
Day Two: Love

Day Three: Prayer

Day Four: Truth Day Five: Adventure

Intentional Living: Being Content While Single: Main Page

This is for all the single ladies who are struggling to be content in their lives. Being single while everyone else seems to be moving on with their lives with their special person, leaving you sitting there, on your couch can be a bit depressing at times. I know, because I live there. Let's stop throwing our little pity parties, and intentionally live content. Join me for five days as I attempt to shine a light on ways we can intentionally strive to be content.

Here are the topics I will be discussing: (I will update as they are posted)

Intro
Day One: Identity -Where is our true identity?
Day Two: Love - Do you love yourself?
Day Three: Prayer - Are you praying for your husband and yourself?
Day Four: Truth - Do you have a friend who will speak truth into your life?
Day Five: Adventure - Do you go on adventures?

Check out 15 other great bloggers that will be showing us how to live intentional in other areas of life.

 

There will be a giveaway at the end of the week, so stay tuned! Happy reading!

GiveAWay Info: I will be giving a way a prize pack with some of my favorite goodies at the end of this series! There is only one prize. You can enter every day of the week by answering the question at the end of each daily blog. Leave a comment with your name, city and state, and your answer to my question to be entered in this week's prize pack! I will announce the winner in a post on Saturday, April 13th, 2013. The winner will have to contact me via email at michelletobolivia@gmail.com with their mailing address to receive their prize. Good luck!

 

Love, Michelle

 

Being Content While Single: Intro

 

 

A couple of weeks ago, I was invited to write a mini series about Intentional Living. I have never done something like this before, so I agreed. 16 bloggers from different corners, all joining together to write their take on Intentional Living. Everyone of us has a different topic, under the Intentional Living umbrella.

 

I thought I had chosen my topic right away. But then, I battled for weeks. I had a little list of topics that I was comfortable with, and someone knowledgeable about. "Being thankful." "Being a good friend." "Loving people like Jesus does." "Listening to God's voice." "Being kind." But, you aren't reading any of those right now. You're reading about Being Content While Single.

 

Bah. Not my plan at all. Writing about being kind, thankful, or loving people is easy, because it isn't really personal. It doesn't get into the nitty gritty. Writing about being single is getting into areas I'm not comfortable with myself, and sharing them with people I don't even know. I knew this is what I am supposed to be sharing, but I refused for weeks. Once I told God ,that in fact, He knew better than I, and accepted this topic, I had peace.

 

Just to be clear, if it were up to me, I would already be married to a tall, handsome, plaid wearing, Jesus loving, adventure taking kinda man. I would have lots of babies, and be content to be in my kitchen, wearing an apron and lipstick, and being the sweetest little house wife this world has ever known.

 

But, that's not my life. I am single and 25. I have heard every cliche, story, and piece of advice in the book about being single, waiting on God's timing, and men. The girls in my freshmen small group at youth group have had more boyfriends in six months than I've had, ever. I haven't dated much at all. I am the perpetual bridesmaid, always being told that I'm just like the girl from that movie, 27 Dresses. I only have 3 things on my 'make it or break it list', and I haven't really found a man that meets all of them. I don't think my standards are unattainably high, I just know that I am wonderful, and worth a good man who loves Jesus, more than he could ever love me. I have tried blind dates and online dating. It just hasn't worked. I believe God knows my man, and is working things out, in His perfect timing. Sometimes, I get easily frustrated and annoyed with my lack of man and babies, but I have learned so much the past year or so about God's faithfulness, so I know He has me, and He has this.

 

Discontentment is something I don't normally struggle with, but naturally, as I prepare to write this week, I have struggled in the worst way. So, everything I write, God is teaching and reteaching me a step ahead of you reading it.



So, with all of that being said, here it is. A week's worth of me trying to figure out how to be content with this single season I'm in, so I can then share it with y'all. I hope you stayed tuned for all five days.

There are 15 other bloggers doing the same thing, just with different topics. Check them out, and be encouraged.

GiveAWay Info: I will be giving a way a prize pack with some of my favorite goodies at the end of this series! There is only one prize. You can enter every day of the week by answering the question at the end of each daily blog. Leave a comment with your name, city and state, and your answer to my question to be entered in this week's prize pack! I will announce the winner in a post on Saturday, April 13th, 2013. The winner will have to contact me via email at michelletobolivia@gmail.com with their mailing address to receive their prize. Good luck!

 

Sunday's question: What area of singleness do you struggle the most with?

Love, Michelle :)

The Complete Series:

Intro

Day One: Identity
Day Two: Love

Day Three: Prayer

Day Four: Truth Day Five: Adventure

 

Intentional Living Bloggers & Topics

Intentional By Grace – “Filling Up Your Life & Not Just Your Schedule”

Christian Mommy Blogger – “Intentional Blogging”

Intentional Homeschool – “Intentional Training”

KaysePratt.com – “Embracing Rest”

Live Called – “Making Your Home a Haven”

Triple Braided Kids – “Cherishing Your Baby’s Development”

Gospel Homemaking – “Intentional Attitudes”

Season The Day – “Parenting with a Purpose”

Grace Everyday – “Empowered by Grace”

Creating Naturally – “Preserving Family Memories”

Running Against the Odds – “Training our Mind and Body”

Young Wife’s Guide – “Glorifying God in Your Homemaking”

A Biblical Marriage – “A God Centered Marriage”

New Life Steward – “Intentionally Walking With God”

The Purposeful Mom – “A Busy Mom’s Guide to Teaching Character”

Adventure In the Unknown – “Being Content While Single”

All The Single Ladies - Part Two

Welcome back for Part Two of my single ladies blog.

Here is the second half of my top ten reminders for single girls. If you did not catch part one, you can find it here.

6. Pray for your future husband. I'm not talking 'the where the heck is he, Lord? Get him here now.' prayer. I mean praying for him right now wherever he is now. Pray for protection, him to know Jesus, for him to learn faithfulness and loyalty, spiritual strength, and even wisdom for his now. The more I pray for him, the more content I become. "Trust also means believing your prayers will work in the life of your future husband even though you can't see him today. ... You have most likely not met him yet, but your prayers will make a difference in his life. As you pray, you too are changed. You're building your trust. You're placing your hopes in God's hands, and there's no better place they can be." (Praying for your Future Husband-Preparing Your Heart for His Gunn and Goyer)

7. Don't believe the lies. Satan is really good at tricking us to believe his lies. So remember: You
will probably not die alone. 95% of singles will be married one day. You do have value in the church. (More value than holding a screaming baby so a mom can attend a service.) You deserve to be loved. You are a treasure.You are wonderful.You are not forgotten. There is a plan. Quiet his lies with truth from God's Word. "When there is a fight between your heart and your head, experience has taught me that the best thing to do is pick up your Bible and remind yourself of what God says. ... You need to return to the truth of God's Word that will last forever, not meditate on circumstances that will change and fade." (Undaunted Caine) For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

8. Your waiting is not wasted. God's timing is perfect. He is the author of time, and knows what is going on. Wait on Him. He is working all things out for the good, if you know Him. "God knows everything about us. He understands every thought and feeling before we even think it or feel it. Nothing is wasted in His economy, even though we don't see how that's possible at the time. Take heart. God sees the big picture. Rest in Him, and give Him time to reveal His plans for you." (Praying for your Future Husband-Preparing Your Heart for His Gunn and Goyer)

9. Be happy for your friends. Anytime wedding talk is brought up around me, two things are said. "I don't think that 'once a bridesmaid, never a bride' thing is really true." And, "You're so close to being like that girl in that movie, oh what's it called? 27 Dresses!" These comments flow freely after you have been asked to be a bridesmaid 9 times, before the age of 25. I love weddings, but I would be lying to you, if I told you I jumped up and down every time I received an invitation in the mail. Normally my response is to mark it on my calendar, and go cry in bed. One of my best friends gave me great advice. She reminded me that none of these girls were marrying my man. He was still out there, waiting for me. Instead of being sulky and bitter, I needed to choose to rejoice for my friends. So, anytime I see my name in calligraphy on an envelope, I choose to be happy for them. It has really made a difference.

10. Know you're not alone.
You are not the only single person in the world. Find a girl who is in
the same position as you, encourage each other, and pray for one another. Be careful to choose someone who is not encouraging you to be bitter and desperate. You want someone to keep you accountable, have fun with, and talk out your frustration with. One of the greatest gifts we have, is the gift of friendship. I also have a wonderful group of married friends. Some have been married for a few months, and others have more than 20 years under their belts. Learn from them. Use their
mistakes, trials, and frustrations as lessons. Ask them how they pray
for their husbands, and pray for yours now, even though you may not know him yet. Seek advice from godly women, and remember, you are not alone.

I hope you are encouraged, and are reminded how incredible you are.

Michelle

Linking up to:

All The Single Ladies - Part One

Today's post is not going to be relatable to the majority.

It is said to write what you know. Well, I am a Christian girl, over the age of 25, and single. So, over the next two posts, I want to encourage single ladies in the same boat. Here's my top 10 list of what I need to be reminded of, as a single woman.

1. Being single while trying to remain pure in today's culture is a battle. It's a more than a battle. It's an entire full fledged war. Media has made sex the number one talked about thing. It is everywhere. Movies, magazines, commercials, tv shows, books, soda cans, the internet, and countless other things tell and show us how we should dress to be sexy, how to have great sex, and even examples of sexy men. How can a girl stay pure in this world? She needs to learn to guard her heart. (Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23) She needs to set standards about what she will allow her eyes to see and her ears to hear. She needs to set boundaries for any physical relationships. Young girls have told me they don't need to set boundaries, that they will just make good decisions in the heat of the moment. The only reason I have little regret in this area is because, early on, I set boundaries, and frequently reexamined them, before situations came up. A single girl who strives to be pure, also needs to avoid at all cost, compromising situations.

2. There is NOT something wrong with you. How many times have I heard this one whispered about me or my friends? Ah! I have been told more times to count, that "By the time I was your age, I was married, and had two babies, with one on the way." Then comes the judging glance. Maybe that's just me, but that's what I feel it is. The look of, "How can you still be single? Obviously, there's something wrong with you, if you can't accomplish what I did by your age." Chances are, they don't really mean that. But sometimes, it really feels that way. It is okay to be single, even if it doesn't feel like it. Choosing to be picky is okay. Don't compromise and settle because of the pressure to have a man. It is better to be lonely and single, than lonely in a marriage. There isn't anything wrong with you and right with others, or even the other way around. We are all on different paths. One is not better than the other, they are just different.

3. You do not have to be a boring person. Having a 'life' does not just mean having a man, babies, a mini van, and dinner on the table at five every night. That is a wonderful life, and I would love to have it, someday. Being single means this may be one of the only opportunities you have to go, to do, and to experience. Dream big dreams, and then do them. Go on adventures. I hopped on a plane, alone, and went to South America for six weeks. I roasted coffee, climbed mountains, held sick babies, played with orphans, loved people on the streets, tried new foods, rode in taxis, met amazing people, and fell in love with life. We have a God who goes with us on our adventures, and believes in us. Live the most exciting life you can. There will be a day, I hope, when I have a baby clinging to my leg as I try to cook dinner for my husband, and times of huge adventure will be limited to naptime. I know I will be glad I went, did, and lived life extraordinarily. This is not an excuse to sow your wild oats, and live foolishly. Make wise decisions, and have fun!

4. Fall in love with yourself. It's okay, be a little vain. You're wonderful. Discover what you like, and what you don't. Learn how you like your coffee. Take yourself on dates. Some of my favorite nights are when I have turned off the phone and computer, and baked in the kitchen for hours, by myself. Taking time for yourself is one of the healthiest things you can do. We all are busy, and this is a great way to relax. My favorite ways are: bubble baths, sitting at coffee shops, going to the movies, baking, going for a run, painting, sewing, reading on the front porch, eating dinner by myself, and any craft project. Don't let yourself not do what you enjoy because you're always waiting for someone to join you. Learn to love yourself.

5. Fall in love with Jesus. I know this sounds cliche, but really, try it. Talk to Him out loud while driving, make Him your best friend, and spend quality time with Him. I have been finding verses that feel like they are just for me, writing them out, and placing them all over my apartment and car. Tell Him everything, even when you are angry. That's what best friends do, they talk. Your trust in Him will grow, and you will see Him be faithful. It's pretty incredible. One of the biggest things I learned as I grew closer to Him, was the fact that He loves me more than I can imagine. It is a perfect, all consuming, unfailing, relentless love, that I could never earn.

I hope you are encouraged.

Look for Part Two of this blog later this week!

Love, M

Linking up with: