True Identity

I am the master of wearing many hats.

I am: Coach Michelle for cheerleading, Baker, Small Group Leader to 10 freshmen girls, Mechelle the Nanny for S and A, Daughter of my parents, Writer for Grace Everyday, Sister to 4 siblings, Best Friend to 12 people, Bible Study Girl on Thursdays, Roommate, Recipe Creator, Sunday School Teacher on Sundays, Meal Planner, Perpetual Bridesmaid, Church Goer, Coffee Drinker, Traveler,  Orphan Lover, Advocate for the Broken, Supporter, Church Attender, Artist, Downtown Resident, Blogger, Crafter, Encourager, Wedding Planner, and probably many more things.

That's me.

Maybe you are a mommy, an office worker, a pet owner, the bill payer, the money maker, a wife, a career woman, a husband, a home owner, the dinner maker, the laundry washer, the taxi driver for your kids, a planner, a student, the nurse, the tired mom of a newborn who just wants a nap, and everything else you are.

And, that's you.

But, is that where we find our identity? Is that all that we think we are? If you and I were take all of those hats off, who would be be? If you were no longer married, if you were no longer a parent, who would you be?

Our true identity is in Christ, alone.

Before you are a wife, mother, sister, employee, coach, or anything you think you are, you are a child of the King.

You are loved by the relentless lover, you are forgiven more than you know, you are known by the God of the universe, and He even calls you by name.

We didn't have to choose Him, He already chose us.

So, take all your hats off, rest in Him, and remember who you really are.

Even as [in His love] He chose us [actually picked us out for Himself as His own] in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy (consecrated and set apart for Him) and blameless in His sight, even above reproach, before Him in love.For He foreordained us (destined us, planned in love for us) to be adopted (revealed) as His own children through Jesus Christ, in accordance with the purpose of His will [because it pleased Him and was His kind intent] (Ephesians 1:4-5 Amplified Bible)

Have a wonderful weekend! M

Cemetery. Love. Sleep.

I visited the cemetery again today. It was an impulsive visit. With the cemetery being only half a mile from my front door, the thought occasionally passes through my mind, but rarely do I find the courage to go.
I was there for just a moment today. The busyness of the day was catching up with me, but I needed to sneak in a moment of solitude. I wandered over to where she was buried. I sat for just a minute on the cold ground.
This time, instead of being angry at God, and fighting with bitterness bubbling over, I had peace. I rejoiced that Jesus, conquered death, and now our Redeemer lives.
A line from a song became wedged in my mind as I walked back to my car.
"In death, in life, I'm confident and covered by the power of your great love."
I focused on His love, and its power. It never fails. It is overwhelming. We are so undeserving, yet He gives it freely. It is unconditional. It is ours.
There are so many things I could focus on as I fall asleep tonight. But I will choose to drift into dreams reflecting on His love for me. What a sweet way to end the day.
More tales to come. But for now, rest in His love.
Goodnight.
Love, M.

He is here.

This has become one of my favorite songs the past few weeks.
Kari Jobe -Here
Come and rest here
Come and lay your burdens down Come and rest here
There is refuge for you now
You'll find His peace
And know you're not alone anymore He is near
You'll find His healing
You're heart isn't shattered anymore He is here
Breathe in
Breathe out
You will You will find Him here
I will rest in You
You will find Him
You will find Him here
You will find Him
You will find Him here

Waiting.

Fall is quickly approaching. With it comes boots, football games, hot apple cider, hay rides, new school supplies, and cozy clothes. But along with that comes change, and an overwhelming sense to be busy. As I look towards fall, I get caught up in day dreaming of changes to come. What could happen in the next few years? Maybe moving for a job, or for missions work to a new city, new state, new country, or even a new continent. Maybe meeting that incredible man God has for me and settling down and having babies. Maybe everything changes.  Maybe nothing changes. But within all of those maybes, the only constant is that my God knows it all. He has it so intricately and beautifully worked together, there is no need for me to worry.

I do worry sometimes because I'm me. I worry because a big-ish birthday is coming up, and I am still single. I worry because if I move, then when would I see my family. I worry about the next steps from getting here into full time ministry. I worry about wasting time. I worry when I try to control everything.

But then I remember a couple things. Jesus tells me over and over to trust Him, to wait on Him, and to rest in Him. When I do, everything is different. I have overwhelming peace. I remember He is in control. He has me in the palm of His hand. I have His favor. He loves me, and wants the best for me. He is with me, even in the waiting.

So, I challenge you, believe Him. He is everything He claimed to be. He alone can renew, revive, restore, and refresh. He sees the big picture. He is preparing the now for the later. Moments of waiting do not have to be wasted. He can use them. He wants to use them.


While I'm waiting, there is still life to be lived and people to be loved.

I will choose to be more like Jesus every day. I will choose to praise His name. I will choose to prepare myself for the later, with what I have been given in the now. I will choose to trust my God who already has it figured out, instead of attempting control. I will choose to keep going and pressing on even when I fail and lose sight of it all. I will choose to be kind,  patient, and loving even when it is hard, and doesn't make sense. I will choose to believe that I have a purpose, wherever I am, and that I can be useful with whatever I have. I will choose selflessness over selfishness. I will choose not to waste time, and to make every moment count. I will choose to rest in Jesus instead of wrestle with anxiety.

Waiting is a natural part of life. What will you do with it? What will you choose to do while you wait?

Happy weekend! Enjoy it! Love M.

be still

If you know me, you would know that I am always on the move. I thrive on being busy. I go, go, go, go, until I can't go anymore. I schedule things back to back, just to squeeze as many things in a day as possible. That is my life. Well, that was my life.

I have been sick all week. As in, I haven't left the house since Sunday afternoon. It is Thursday night. I am losing my mind. I didn't come to Bolivia to sit in bed. I came to serve. I want to serve. I was fine for my first week and a half. I know what life is like in the city. I have seen the brokenness, the pain, and the darkness. I want to be a light, I want to love, I want to share Jesus. I want to hand bread out to the homeless. I want to whisper in an orphan's ear how beautiful they are. I want to hold gauze while a street kid gets stitched up. I want to hold a malnourished baby and pray over them. I want to be the hands and feet of Jesus. I want to go. I want to do.

Last week, I woke up with an upset stomach. Everything I ate went right through me. I couldn't eat anything. Not the most fun thing ever. I was sick one day, fine the next, sick the next day, and then sick for days. I hated it. There were suspions that I had parasites. So, my house mate took a sample into the lab, and we discovered I had a nasty bacterial infection.

So, I started taking an antibiotic. It cleared up the issue quickly. But, in return, it gave me severe dizziness and nausea. The dizziness has been so bad that if I move my eyes too fast, I feel like my world will crumble. The nausea is so bad, I gag eating a banana, or taking pills. This is not what I signed up for. The side effects of the pills was worse in my mind than the original upset stomach.

So, I haven't done much. Sleeping is a nightmare. Every toss or turn makes the dizzyness and nausea worse. I have been miserable. I just want to get out of bed and serve. I did not come to Bolivia to lay in bed.

This morning was the hardest. The three of us living at the guest house do a time of devotion and prayer together. We watched a video about how "Daddy has a plan." Our Heavenly Father has a plan. We just need to trust him. We read verses that proved this. He is holding me in the palm of his hand. He has a plan for me.

But still my humanity cried out. Why am I sick? Why can't I serve? I feel useless. I haven't done anything. I am a hinderance to the team. What is the point of being in Bolivia, if all I do is sit in bed? I feel lazy. I feel pointless. I was angry. I was exhausted.

I sobbed to my friend this morning. She held me, and reminded me "Daddy has a plan". There is probably a lesson to be learned in this. But, He's got me.

We found out there is a mediciene to help combat dizzyness and nausea. She went to the pharmacy to pick it up. I took it, and napped. She woke me up to check on me, and I still felt awful. She ended up getting me soup and bringing it home. I slept some more.

All day long I slept, and reminded myself "Daddy has a plan". I became angry at God a few times. I am good at serving. I am not good at sitting.

And then, my 'aha' moment came.

Luke 10:38-42

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

One thing is necessary. Sit at the feet of Jesus. Listen to His words. Rejoice in who He is. Give glory to His name. Soak up His teaching.

Serving is good. But sitting is better.

Psalm 46:10

“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”

So, I am know there is much work to be done out there. But I am going to try to just sit at the feet of Jesus. Read His word. Worship who He is. And relax, knowing, "Daddy has a plan."

I really want to be well enough to serve tomorrow. There are a lot of opportunites to be involved with.

Please join me in prayer for restful sleep, a sound stomach, dizziness to be gone, any weakness to be filled with strength, any lingering infection or side effects to be done. In Jesus' Name.

I am sorry I haven't been too diligent about blogging much lately. I have so many stories. I hope to share them soon.

Love, M