Confession: I am a mess.

Let's be honest.

I don't really enjoy the thought of airing my dirty laundry, for potentially thousands of people I may not even know, to read on here. I also do not think said people excitedly wake up, sit down with their coffee, open my blog and want to hear that I am a mess. So, I continue to write about God's faithfulness, His provision, and attempting to be content. These are all good things.

But.

I wonder if I am not giving the whole story. I wonder if only sharing the good days has made me look better than I really am. I wonder if Jesus isn't getting all of the glory because people aren't seeing the dark days.

I had a few friends recently tell me they wish they could love people like I do, or follow Jesus so diligently as me, or even just have it all together like Michelle.

I laughed. Out loud.

I am a mess. A hot mess.

There is no goodness inside of me apart from Jesus.

My nature is not to love people, and say kind words of encouragement. My nature is to judge people, think nasty, horrific thoughts toward them, and then justify it.

My nature is not to love Jesus. I fight daily to read my Bible, spend time in prayer, and sometimes just not forget about Him. I often fight with Him, disagree with what He is doing, and sometimes just ignore His voice because I don't want to change what I am doing.

I am selfish to the core. I am a gossip. I can hold a grudge. I watch tv shows I shouldn't. I fake it too often with a smile. My house is almost never really clean. I can be a beast to live with. Love does not come easily to me. I am just a mess of a girl. I am no where near perfect.

But.

Jesus is transforming me. He alone can change my evil heart, and teach it to love. He convicts my soul, and it is His kindness that brings me to repentance. He is renewing my mind, and changing my thoughts. It is His love that can cause real joy to flow from my heart.

So please do not think of me as the girl who has it all together. I am not.

I just have a real Jesus.

I am not perfect, but He is. I am inconsistent, He is always constant. I am a sinner, in need of a Savior, and He is that Savior. I am always in need, He is always faithful and provider. I have dreams of big things, and He is the one who put them in my heart, and is working out the details.

I will try to be more transparent, even when it is difficult. I will share the struggles, along with the victories. I just want to point to Jesus, even on the bad days.

Have a good weekend.

Love, M

kindness challenge again

I have a small group of high school girls I see on a weekly basis at church. Recently I encouraged my small group girls to be kind. The think I'm kinda crazy, and told me it is hard to be kind. I remeinded them that I wasn't asking for huge acts of kindness. Just small, consistent, intentional acts of kindness. They grumbled about my challenge, so I am not sure if they will do it. But it got me thinking.

I was reminded how easy it is to slip into my own life, where all that matters is me. Kindness is not something that is expected. It is not glamorous. No one gives out gold stars for being kind. It is is easy to get caught up in life and just making that work. Kindness is often inconvient and uncomfortable. Sometimes it can cost money or time. When we don't receive thank you's, and our feelings get hurt. It can be hard.

So, get over it.

Be kind. You are not too busy, money is not too tight, and you have enough people around you to be kind.

So, I challenge you and I once again. Spend the next week doing daily acts of kindness. Don't just do them for people you know. Be kind to strangers. Even if it is uncomfortable.

Pray specifically for people and how you can be kind in a way that makes a difference to them. Then do it.

I challenge you to involve other people. Challenge your kids, students, co workers, whoever to also be kind this week.

I would love to hear of fun and creative ways you shared kindness this week!

Seven days. Seven ways. Be kind.

Love, M

Where He leads, I will follow.

There a few things I know for certain.
1. Everyone who has accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, has the Holy Spirit dwelling in them.
2. God values obedience. He says to obey is better than sacrifice. (1Samuel 15:22)
3. The more you listen, the easier it is to hear someone's voice.
It is easy to ignore the Holy Spirit's voice in your life. He doesn't scream or flash lights, at least for me. His voice is a quiet whisper in my heart. It tells me what is right and wrong, it reminds me of verses from God's Word, and it prompts me to do things. The more I am in tune with His voice, the easier it is to say yes, and obey. The more often I obey, the clearer His voice becomes, and the easier it becomes.
So, let me share my personal challenge to myself this month.
I decided to say practice saying "yes" this month. This December, I want to follow where He leads. When He tells me to do something, however uncomfortable, awkward, or strange it is, I want to say yes. I do not want to think it out, tell God maybe, or ignore it. I want to be obedient.
So, I started this challenge to myself a couple days ago. I have done some strange things since then. At midnight, He woke me up, and told me to start praying for someone. So I did. He told me to encourage someone else. So I did. He told me to stop by the store and grab vitamins for a sick friend. So I did.
Know what's crazy? Those people that God put on my heart to pray for, encourage, or serve needed that, in that exact moment. Nothing I could've ever set up or planned. God is meeting needs through His obedient children. It boggles my mind when someone tells me they were praying for something so specific, and next thing they know it is in their hands. They ask, how could you know? I didnt, but God did, and He is good. I just want to be obedient.
And the coolest thing is that when we are obedient, it just points back to Jesus. Isn't that how we should strive to live our lives anyway?
So, if you're with me, here's the challenge. Say yes. Be open for God to use you. Get out of your comfort zone. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to lead you in all that you do.
It's going to be a great month.
Love, M :)

Thankful...

Thanksgiving is almost here. How well have we been doing at being thankful, intentionally?
I won't lie, I started struggling mid month. It is sometimes hard to stop, focus on being thankful, and do something about it. I have felt too busy, too tired, too cranky, too caught up in me, to be thankful.
Being thankful forces a change of mindset. No longer is the focus on self, but it is on others, and the many blessings we have.
I have heard so many tragic stories in the last couple months. The circumstances and people were different, but the final sentence in their stories is, they died.
I have talked with one of my closest friends about what would happen if something happened to us. We are women, so our nature is to worry.
If we would focus on the many things we have been blessed with, and really enjoy them, worry would begin to dissolve.
I have really tried to be intentional with enjoying moments. Soaking them in. Spending time with people, and putting the phone down. Telling people how much I appreciate them. Relaxing more. Doing things I really enjoy. Reminding myself, the dishes will still be there later tonight. Going out of my way to genuinely compliment someone. Not being stressed by the little things. Trying to be fearless. Loving the unlovable. Taking chances. Having adventures. And being thankful to the One who allows it to be.
Live everyday to the fullest. Be grateful. Be an enjoyable person to be around. It leads to a satisfying life, however short or long it may be.
Happy Tuesday. 
Be kind. Be thankful. Be intentional.
Love, M.

Day Two

Today is day two of the "November Be Thankful Challenge". Who joined me yesterday in actively being grateful?
When I got home last night, I was exhausted. I could tell I was cranky, so I went straight to my room. I put pajamas on, and looked for a notebook to start my 'thankful for' list. As I sat down to write, my crankiness began to dissolve. That was a benefit I had no anticipated. It's really hard to be cranky and thankful in the same moment. So, in that moment, I chose to be thankful.
I thought on my day, and realized what a very blessed girl I am. I had planned on writing five things a day, but yesterday I wrote six.
I don't plan on sharing my list every day, but I will today.
Day One.
1. Great dinner prepared by sister.
2. 7th Heaven reruns on demand.
3. Quiet and easy day at work.
4. Dinner invitation to family dinner.
5. Friend's surgery went well.
6. Great friend to vent to.
There ya have it, see how easy it is?
This morning I am so grateful for being in bed by 8:30 last night, and a good night's rest. :)
I would love to hear what you were thankful for yesterday.
Be active in being grateful today. Focus on how you're blessed, and don't forget to let others know how thankful you are of them!
I will be doing a contest coming up. So, check back for that! :)
Happy Friday!
Love, M

November Challenge

Happy November 1st!
It is my birthday month and of course it is Thanksgiving!
So, to help us all focus on being thankful this month, I have a challenge. For the next thirty days, show gratitude.
Here are some ideas:
-Keep a thankful journal. Every night before bed write down 5 things you are thankful for. Think about the basics (clean water, warm place to sleep, socks, etc.) and the bigger things (someone special to love, a great job, a stranger's smile, etc.)
-Buy thirty thank you cards, and every day, send one to a person. (fire department, pastors, parents, girl at the coffee shop, mail carrier, etc.)
-Think of a few people who have been huge blessings to you, and make thank you baskets. (Include snacks, gift cards, sweet notes, and little thoughtful knick knacks, etc.)
-Whenever you go out anywhere, (coffee, gas station, grocery store, restaurant, etc.) say a sincere thank you with a smile, while making eye contact.
-Include kiddos! Have them draw pictures or bake cookies for local firefighters, or police stations and drop them off together.
-Do random acts of kindness, without expecting a thank you. (Consider the homeless, the broken, the elderly, etc.)
-Look up verses in the Bible about being thankful. (There's quite a few!)
So excited to start this with ya'll! Who's in? Can't wait to hear stories of what you're doing too!
Thank you for reading and supporting me!
Love, M

He is faithful.

There are times in my life where I can actually feel the presence of God. There are times when I know He is faithful, because the mountains keep on moving. I know He is real with everything in me. I talk to Him, and I know He listens.
But then there are these moments in life, where I don't feel it. I am overwhelmed, and I don't see His faithfulness.
This is when faith must step in. If faith is only active when life is beautiful, and God feels near, then it is a weak faith. But if I dig in my heels, and remember that this is just a dry period, and that's okay.
So, what about this slump I'm in? I have realized something in my own life lately, and last night in Bible study realized it all over again. I need to declare His faithfulness. Declaring His faithfulness helps me be faithful. It refocuses me. It reminds me that just last month, He was faithful in huge ways. Which means, He is faithful, today, when I just want to throw in the towel and take a nap, He's still faithful. It helps silence the enemy. When I am praising God, it stops Satan's lies about how God gave up on me. Satan wants more than anything, my faith to falter.
So, bear with me, as I remind myself of His faithfulness. I challenge you to do the same. Because there is beauty in realizing this truth.
God, You are still faithful when: life doesn't make sense, I'm tired, bills need to be paid, I'm in a mood, the power is out, I'm still tired, when death steals what we love, when cars don't start, when friends leave, days are long, no one else is there, I have been praying for something for years and don't see it any closer, people hurt my feelings, there isn't hot water, I feel rejected, I feel awkward, I am overwhelmed, I get sick, I cry all the time, I have been a bridesmaid 7 times, and I don't understand. God, you are always good. You are always faithful. My circumstances and emotions never change who You are, and that You are in control.
Psalm 18:25a To the faithful you show yourself faithful,
Psalm 33:4 For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.
Psalm 36:5 Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.
Psalm 89:1 I will sing of the Lord's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations.
Psalm 89:8 O Lord God Almighty, who is like you? You are mighty, O Lord, and your faithfulness surrounds you.
Hosea 6:3 Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.
Happy Wednesday.
Love, M
Get ready for a huge month long challenge starting tomorrow morning!

It's a battle

Romans 7:19-20 For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

If you're like me, you reread that trying to make sense of what is being said.

I want to do good, but I don't. I don't want to do evil, but I do. All because of my sinful nature.

How often do we have good intentions and we fall into evil?

We never wake up in the morning thinking we want to hurt feelings, be bitter, be greedy, cheat, lie, be rude, or be a jerk. But it is our sinful nature. That's the way we are naturally bent, to be jerks.
So, what do we do? Throw in the towel and be jerks, since that's the way we are naturally? I hope not!

There is an antidote to our jerky, selfish, sinful self. It's Jesus. He alone can make us into new creatures.

1 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Don't forget this life is a battle. Fight. Don't give up so easily.

Fight to be a better person than you were yesterday. Make changes so you are not in situations where you will give into doing what you don't want to do.
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Be in the Word.

There is nothing like the Bible. It refreshes, reconnects, renews, restores, convicts and changes us. No other book has the power to change us like God's word. Be diligent with your time, and make time to sit at the feet of Jesus, everyday.

Spend time talking to Jesus in prayer. The more you are with Him, the more you will be like Him.

We have a fighting chance. Be intentional as you start your week. Keep changing. Don't be a jerk.

Happy Monday. Love, M

Waiting.

Fall is quickly approaching. With it comes boots, football games, hot apple cider, hay rides, new school supplies, and cozy clothes. But along with that comes change, and an overwhelming sense to be busy. As I look towards fall, I get caught up in day dreaming of changes to come. What could happen in the next few years? Maybe moving for a job, or for missions work to a new city, new state, new country, or even a new continent. Maybe meeting that incredible man God has for me and settling down and having babies. Maybe everything changes.  Maybe nothing changes. But within all of those maybes, the only constant is that my God knows it all. He has it so intricately and beautifully worked together, there is no need for me to worry.

I do worry sometimes because I'm me. I worry because a big-ish birthday is coming up, and I am still single. I worry because if I move, then when would I see my family. I worry about the next steps from getting here into full time ministry. I worry about wasting time. I worry when I try to control everything.

But then I remember a couple things. Jesus tells me over and over to trust Him, to wait on Him, and to rest in Him. When I do, everything is different. I have overwhelming peace. I remember He is in control. He has me in the palm of His hand. I have His favor. He loves me, and wants the best for me. He is with me, even in the waiting.

So, I challenge you, believe Him. He is everything He claimed to be. He alone can renew, revive, restore, and refresh. He sees the big picture. He is preparing the now for the later. Moments of waiting do not have to be wasted. He can use them. He wants to use them.


While I'm waiting, there is still life to be lived and people to be loved.

I will choose to be more like Jesus every day. I will choose to praise His name. I will choose to prepare myself for the later, with what I have been given in the now. I will choose to trust my God who already has it figured out, instead of attempting control. I will choose to keep going and pressing on even when I fail and lose sight of it all. I will choose to be kind,  patient, and loving even when it is hard, and doesn't make sense. I will choose to believe that I have a purpose, wherever I am, and that I can be useful with whatever I have. I will choose selflessness over selfishness. I will choose not to waste time, and to make every moment count. I will choose to rest in Jesus instead of wrestle with anxiety.

Waiting is a natural part of life. What will you do with it? What will you choose to do while you wait?

Happy weekend! Enjoy it! Love M.

Kindness Challenge

Yesterday I posed the challenge to be kind this week.

Everyday, do something to show kindness deliberately and unexpectedly.

It's day two. How is everyone doing? Is anyone joining me?

We are such blessed people, why not use that to motivate us be a blessing to someone else.

I challenge us all to be intentional with our kindness, go out of our ways to make someone's day.

Colossians 3:12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

I want to be called compassionate, kind, humble, gentle and patient. But if I never use and grow these characteristics, they will never be apart of who I am.

So be kind. Show love. Stop your selfishness. Go out of your way. Make someone smile. Share Jesus.

Get out of your comfort zone. Have an incredible week.

Love, M

A challenge.

When was the last time you made someone smile? When was the last time you told someone how much you love them? When was the last time you laughed with someone, like really laughed? When was the last time you made someone's day? When was the last time you gave of yourself, your time, your money, your stuff to bless someone else?

I want to encourage you to do something every day this week to bless someone. An intentional. unexpected kindness.

Every day.

It's not that hard. I promise.

Pay for the man's coffee behind you. Send a card to a sick friend. Compliment a lady's dress at a store. Sidewalk chalk encouraging notes. Buy a meal for a homeless man. Give money to a missionary. Celebrate someone's success. Keep your word. Watch a friend's kiddos for free so she can run errands. Stop and help someone with their groceries. Be patient waiting in line. Actively listen when in a conversation. Tip your waitress a bit more. When you tell someone you will pray for them, do it right then. Pass out flowers. Remind people they are loved. Do the dishes without asking. Pick up trash at the park.

The possibilities are endless.

Easy peasy, lemon squeezey. Right?

How are we supposed to share the love and joy and peace of Jesus if we ourselves do not portray love, joy, and peace?

If we want to be Jesus to a real world, we need to be love, have joy, and share peace. Not a fake version of them, but authentic realities of them.

Pray and ask God what you can do this week to bless someone and love them. And then do it. Ask for opportunities, and for people. He will supply them.

Something big. Something small. Something without any recognition. Something easy. Something hard.

Just do it.

What picture of Jesus do we paint if we are always stressed, cranky, and without care for others?

Jesus commanded us to love, and not just the ones who are like us and who like us.

So, I challenge you all, and myself included to love this week. Love in unconventional and uncomfortable ways. Love without shame. Love regardless of how hard it is. Be a blessing to someone. Point them to Jesus by your actions.

Share ideas on how you can show kindness in the comments section.

Game on. Let's do this.

So excited for this week. Love, M.

Wherever.

If you follow my stories or know my heart, you know I long to be back in Bolivia. My heart is to be back there serving full time, and to be on huge adventure with God. Most days, I don't want to be here.

But more than anything, I want to be content with wherever He has me. Because He has me here. For a reason. For a season. On purpose.

Philippians 4:11-Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content:


Hebrews 13:5-Let your conduct be without covetousness; be contentwith such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”


So, lately I have been praying, "God, wherever You have me, use me." 

 It has been interesting to see how He is using me.

The other day, I was on a website, and someone randomly messaged me, and asked if I was a Christian. I said yes, and he asked me if I could explain to him how to become one. So over the internet, I was able to share Jesus to someone I have never met. God brought to memory verses and truths from His word, and I was able to share how Jesus, and not any religion or tradition is the way to heaven and to God. The whole time, God reminded me that I prayed to be used wherever I was.

I have a good friend in Japan. He has been teaching English there for almost a year. I know he is homesick. So I used my Kitchen Aid (Remember this?) (how cool is it to bless someone with something you have just been blessed with?) and made him coconut chocolate chunk cookies. I mailed him all sorts of fun stuff. I don't know if he knows, but I pray for him daily. I just want to be a blessing to him, even on the other side of the world.

Wherever I am.

Since I have moved into my new place, I have had many opportunities to share Jesus. I have had more people over for real conversations in my two months here than I ever did in my two years in my old place. I have been able to sit on the couch with a cup of coffee, and share stories of His faithfulness. People who know Jesus, people who have never been inside a church, and all sorts in between have been over. Real conversations about a real God keep happening.

Wherever I am. 

The grocery store check out. The bank. Getting a hair cut. Dinner with an old friend. Family. To all generations. In Spanish. Picking up pizza. Walking downtown.

It doesn't make sense. The God of the universe is using me, a simple girl, with a normal life, wherever I am, to show people Jesus. It is mind boggling. But I am blessed.

I am so excited to see who is next. Who can I bless next? Who needs a cookie, a hug, a smile, a cup of coffee, a listening ear, Jesus, or a friend.

I challenge you this week.  Pray this with me. "God wherever you have me, use me." I promise, He will use you if you are willing. There are broken people everywhere. Let's be the hands and feet of Jesus, and show love, in real ways.

Love, M