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Friday, September 23, 2016

welcome to marriage

Wow. It's been a while. 

I have so much bubbling up in my heart to share. The Lord has been so faithful. 

The last few months I took a break from a lot of "extra". I wanted to enjoy every second of this season. I'm so glad I did. But now I'm back to normal life, and writing once again. 

I will continue to strive for genuine, transparency in my writing, while still protecting and honoring this new gift of marriage. Let's see how this works. 

I am now officially a married woman. Steve and I have been settling into our new roles and our new home better than I expected. And for the first time in my life, there is a man in my bed. (I have only freaked out once, and I did punch him. Which thankfully, he has no recollection of.) 

Marriage is interesting. 

We've made it 3 weeks so far. Wahoo! But I'm convinced the first two weeks don't really count. We were honeymooning and traveling for quite a while, and for the most part, it was lovely. 

Although. I might be the most stubborn/sassy/independent/emotional/spicy woman in the world, and all of that doesn't take a holiday. So Steve quickly saw that being my husband meant (among a thousand other things) trying to figure out why I was sobbing, while sitting on the floor, in the middle of the airport, when we both had less than three hours of sleep combined, the night before, only hours after our marriage began. It's not all glamorous here. I assure you. Not at all glamorous. 

Also. If you've waited your entire life to have sex, and saved yourself for marriage, and your period starts on the first layover, en route to your honeymoon in paradise, you haven't slept much, you have all.the.hormones, which means all.the.emotions, and you're starving, there's a high chance that you might be sobbing on the floor, in the middle of the airport as well. #justsaying #dontjudgeme #wasthattoomuchinformation #whateverman #puremichelle 

Marriage is not exactly the easiest thing I have ever done in one moment, and then the next moment, it's as natural as taking a breath. 

Which in case anyone was wondering, gives me whiplash in the emotional department constantly. 

There has been so much change in my own heart in the last month. Submitting to my husband? Woah nelly. There's NO WAY I can do that without the power of the Holy Spirit. Having Steve around all.the.time is like walking around with a mirror, constantly calling me higher, and to walk in truth. Which is like the BEST THING EVER, because it helps me be more like Jesus. But it's also exhausting. Because I'm super flawed, and have a lot of junk to deal with. Which I think I always knew, but I just shoved it all under the rug for years. And years. 

So my selfishness has taken a huge hit. And my stubborn independence is coming down, brick by brick. I'm learning that God's Word is super applicable in this new adventure. My life is a bit more structured now, and I think it's exactly what I needed. 

I'm overwhelming thankful that God gave me this darling man to walk this journey along side me, and for me to walk along side him in his journey. It's just about the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced. This man calls out the beauty in me, when I cannot see it. He prays over me when I'm too weary to lift my head. And he cooks dinner like a pro. 

Marriage is international work. But I believe it's worth it. 

Also. The fact that I am truly a morning person, and love to wake up and instantly begin chatting about every.thing.under.the.sun, and Steve is not a morning person, and would like to sleep an additional 5 hours every morning has been quite comical in our home. #letmetellyouaboutmydream #howaboutinthreehours #justwakeupsowecanhangout #howaboutno 

Loving married life over here.