Total Pageviews

Saturday, September 20, 2014

The Pumpkin- a story of my mistakes, and God's faithfulness

This is a story about my real life. It's slightly random, and weird, but in it, God has been teaching me real lessons. 

Here is my pumpkin story. (With pictures!) 

Last fall I bought pumpkins at the store. I decorated my front porch with them, and it was lovely. I just love fall. 
(Fall 2013-Front Porch)

(Fall 2013- Decorated for cheering friends on, running the half marathon in downtown CVC.) 

I really enjoyed having a pumpkin on my porch. 
(Fall 2013- Sipping tea, being barefoot, and watching traffic.) 

It was an amazing fall; full of laughter, apple cider, cozy scarves, magical nights, beautiful leaves, and apple pie. 

But it couldn't last forever. Winter came. 

(Fall 2013- The beginning of the end.) 

(Winter 2013- Snow, boots, and Christmas lights.) 

(Winter 2013- The magic of Christmas. Pumpkins and all things fall have been forgotten.) 

I had moved my pumpkin off of the front porch, and onto the corner of the sidewalk. I'm sure in my world, this made complete sense at the time. I probably had multiple bags of trash to take out, and carrying a decomposing pumpkin, along with everything else wasn't working. So I left it to sit, with full intention to toss it the next day. Well because I'm lazy, distracted, blonde at heart, and a thousand other excuses, the pumpkin contined to sit. And then winter reallllllly happened. 

(Winter 2014- I hate my life) 

(Winter 2014- Feels like -35 degrees. Complete opposite of awesome.) 

Winter lasted what felt like 4 decades around here. We had the coldest temptures and most snowfall in our history. 

It continued to snow, into mid April. 

(Spring 2014- Why do I live here?!)

Finally, the snow began to melt. And much to my horror and embarrassment, the pumpkin from 8 months before, sat in my front yard, right where I left it. I live in a very classy area, and this was a huge no-no. Leaving Christmas lights up past the proper date brought judgement. But this was much worse. Who forgets to take a pumpkin to the trash for 8 months?! Dear goodness, I was beyond embarrassed. Once I saw it, I picked it up to immediately throw it out. It seemed like a perfect plan, except the ground was still frozen solid, and Mother Earth refused to give me the bottom half of the pumpkin. So I waited a few more weeks, and finally got rid of that darn pumpkin. 

Spring came, and with it, a renewed sense of pride for my home and yard. So I bought flowers, and decided to plant them along the sidewalk. I dug up weeds, tilled the earth, and planted flowers. 

(Spring 2014- Planting time!) 

(Spring 2014- So thankful for greenery. Yay! My first garden!) 

Mid summer I noticed what I suspected to be pumpkin leaves growing, right where I planted my flowers. 

(Summer 2014- My best friend, home from Tokyo, just drawing with chalk.) 

I decided to see where this was going to go. I never watered it, I didn't treat it special, I just let it be. 

Soon it started to take over the sidewalk. 

(Summer 2014- Walk around please!) 

(Summer 2014- This thing is really growing!) 

(Summer 2014- It had high aspiratations of taking over the sidewalk, and the world. I had to replant my flowers 3x.) 

Out of my shame, embarrassment, laziness, forgetfulness, mess, and mistakes, something was coming forth from the ground. And it was beautiful. 

(Summer 2014- cutest lil thing ever) 

(Summer 2014- Officially bigger than my head!) 

(Summer 2014- I see orange!) 

(Summer 2014- Who else has a pumpkin growing in their front yard?!) 

(Summer 2014- Ripe and ready!) 

(Fall 2014- What a journey. What a story.) 

(Fall 2014- It sure is a big one!) 

I laugh as I write this. Seriously, who forgets to throw a pumpkin away?! 

But the more I sat on my front porch, and dug in those leaves, looking for fruit, the more God was teaching me lessons. And for that, I am so thankful. 

In the midst of my mess and mistakes of life, it was easy to believe nothing would be good again. I often found myself thinking that I messed up so much, that God could never use me. 

When winter was so brutally cold, and lasted so brutally long, I was in a season of desolation. Everything in my soul felt dead. Dreams and passions felt barren. I felt stuck in a never ending cycle of just trying to survive, nothing more. Survival was my sole intention. Dreams, desires, passions, hopes, and gifts had been laid aside, and work, sleep, repeat became my life. I was too tired to dream. Fear and doubt took the reigns, and I did nothing to stop them. Life felt bleak. 

Maybe to y'all, all that happened here was a dumb girl left a pumpkin out all winter, and it grew again in spring. That's it. 

But to this girl, God was speaking life to my tired and weary heart. He was showing me in my garden, and in my real life, that there is no mess too great that He cannot make beautiful. There is no season so desolate, that will not spring forth new life. He brings forth the fruit. It was nothing I did, it was just Him, and His grace. He makes all things new. 

So as this gorgeous, perfect pumpkin sits on my front porch, I will remember the unusual circumstances that brought it here. I will recall my life, the feelings, and mistakes that were apart of that season. I will rejoice in the journey, even though it was awkward, unconventional, and uncomfortable. I will be thankful for His grace and mercy that uses air headed girls like me for His glory. I will remember that He alone can take my mistakes and shame, and make something beautiful and new. He brings hope out of chaos and confusion. Ah! Isn't He so good, and so faithful!?!

He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." 
Revelation 21:5

One of my favorite songs beautifully describes all what I'm trying to say. 

Beautiful Things- Gungor 

All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

Such a long post about pumpkins. I know. My life is weird like that. 

(Fall 2014- Just a girl, and her beautiful reminder of God's faithfulness in using her and her mistakes.) 

Happy Saturday. Love, M.