One week til 13.1 and totally freaking out.

My half marathon is in a week. 

For Christmas I was given new running shoes. So the first week of the year, I started off committing to 10 miles/week. I kept at that for a bit, and by March I had a crazy idea to sign up for a half marathon. Thirteen point one miles. I was going to do that. 

And now, sitting in bed after months and miles of training, I'm totally freaking out. 

Seriously. What am I doing? Am I insane? 13.1 miles?! 

I am not normally big on the self doubt train, but for whatever reason, I'm all aboard today, and I just can't seem to hop off. 

But. 

I am laying in bed, just contemplating what I'm going to wear, what snacks I should pack, what my recovery plan is. A few months ago, I wouldn't have a clue on any of that. I realize I've learned so much. 

I'm remembering just last week how I pushed myself to 12.06 miles. The absolute farthest and longest my feet have ever carried me. I realize I've gone so far. 

In this season since signing up for this race, I've lost a lot. My world is different than when I began this journey. There have been so many hard days, but I have come out the other side knowing Jesus more than I ever knew was possible. I realize He is my strength. 

I'm not sure why I feel so tired this weekend. It seems like I want to do is sleep. I'm nervous I'm getting sick. But maybe it's my body's way of resting up and recharging my batteries? I'm not sure, but I'm not refusing a nap. 

My mantra I repeat over and over and over while my feet continuously hit the pavement is, "I can do hard things, because Jesus goes before me." 

Could you pray with me and for me as I finish this? I am so looking forward to crossing that finish line, and having a medal around my neck. But there's still a lot of life to be lived in the mean time. 

Love, M