I like to believe I am in control. Don't most of us? By admitting that God really is in control (which He is, regardless of whether or not we acknowledge it), we let go of any false sense of control we cling to. Surrender is sometimes an awful, bitter pill we must swallow. But it is beautiful when we do.
Yesterday Devon, Kathryn, and I went to lunch. We then went to an internet cafe to take care of a few things, and Devon and I planned on going to the ladies' tea at church. I have been here for a month. I know the city pretty well. I knew how to get to church. Or at least, I thought I did.
We left the cafe at 4:00, the tea began at 4:30. Perfect amount of time to walk a few blocks, and get there on time. Until I realized, I couldn't find the church. I had been there enough to know where it was, but we were coming from the other side of town, so I got confused. Devon and I walked for hours in neighborhoods, up and down the main road. We asked people. No one knew. We got on our knees on the sidewalk, begging God to give us direction. Nothing happened. I knew where we were the whole time, just not where the church was. I wanted to cry. We were supposed to be there. I don't know too many other times when I had been so helpless and frustrated. (It was daytime, I was not alone, we were in a safe part of town, so all of you worriers, just calm down!)
Devon kept reminding me that we weren't in control. God is. If He wanted us to be at that tea, He could've made a way, without a shadow of a doubt. But because I was desperately clinging to the false sense of control I had in the situation, I was getting frustrated. I was allowing Satan to steal my joy. When I began to let go, and let God, I realized, it was a beautiful day, and a perfect walk. I was able to converse with Dev, and get to know her.
We finally decided to just go home. We walked blocks and blocks and blocks. All the buses were full, and not stopping. And the taxis were asking for two much money. (stinks to be a gringo sometimes) We stopped at the tienda across the street from home and got ice cream cones.
It turned into a fun night. I was able to show off Cochabamba a bit. Nothing I could've done in my own power would've changed the situation. But God was in control. He had us in the palm of His hand. My humanity couldn't change our situation.
The whole time when looking for the church, I kept thinking, "if God just leads us in the right direction, or the church just pops up, or a stranger tells us where to go, etc then we have a great God." Hahahaaha. How quickly I forget, He is great regardless of me, regardless of what He does or doesn't do. He is in control. He is not a puppet. He is God. He is worthy of praise and honor whether or not life is going the way I wanted. He is God. and I am not.
Today the three of us girls made fruit skewers and bought drinks for 80 kids at the after school center. We went up there, and all were assigned a classroom. I had 4th graders. I helped with homework, and helped pass things out. I taught a few kids some English words. It was a fun and busy day.
Tomorrow is my favorite day of the week. I'm going to the plaza to work with glue sniffers. Please be praying for that.
Less than 2 weeks left here. How is time flying by?
Life is still very uncertain in the future. Continue to pray for direction, smoothness, and clarity.
My three roommates just got home, and I smell chicken! So I will write more later! Love, M