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Thursday, January 7, 2016

Holding Space.

If we're honest with ourselves, we struggle in the uncomfortable moments. We shy away from the awkward. We don't know what to say in the midst of brokenness. 

We want people to know that we love them, we hate whatever is going on, and we hurt with them. But so often, our words fall short. 

We don't know what to say. 

We act like there might be a magical string of words, that if said correctly, will fix the brokenness. 

But that's not the way it works. 

I've learned a lot in the past year. One of the more valuable things I practice as often as I can. 

It's not anything extravagant or difficult, and I'm not an expert, but I think it's better than any awkward fumbling string of words. 

When I get the call, read the text, or hear the words of brokeness, I want you to know: 

"I'm holding space for you."

I'm not making this about me. Im not believing that I need to say a perfect comment to fix things. I'm not forcing the issue. I'm just letting you know there is space for you. There is safety and love here. We can talk or not talk. We can sit. We can drive around. I can listen. I can distract. You can change your mind with what you need. 

But I'm holding space for you, and for whatever you need, whenever you're ready. 

You may not know what you need, or when you'll need it. But there is space for you when it's time. 

I will love you consistently, without opinions. I will love you, even if I don't agree. I will love you even though I am scared and confused, as well. I will love you, even if it's unconventional, inconvenient, or uncomfortable. I will love you without trying to solve anything. 

There is love, there is safety, and there is space for you. 

The world is ugly. 

People are dealing with divorce, cancer, miscarriage, death, chronic illness, bankruptcy, loss of job, homelessness, crisis pregnancies, abuse, depression, singleness, infertility, waiting, and so much more. 

The weight is heavy. 

Just know, I'm standing in your corner. I'll carry you. 

There is space for you here. There is safety for you here. There is love for you here. 

M. 




Wednesday, January 6, 2016

2015

2015 was a full year. 



•I had the privilege to serve and teach at my favorite place, the Hope Warming Center, on numerous Tuesday mornings. 

•I trusted Jesus in the unknown of leaving my church, losing my job, job hunting, still bring single, starting to write my book, and my car dying. 

•I wore the largest flower crowns my little head could hold, and loved every moment. 

•We celebrated my baby sister graduating from high school. 

•I met Miss Phyllis, and she changed my world. 

•I spent a week with my grandparents in Phoenix, and shared my heart over late night chats. 

• I went on a family weekend getaway, and enjoyed a lot of sister time. 

•I met one of my very best friends on the internet, and was able to have some adventures together in Texas. 

•Four of us saw a need, and felt a call, so we started hitting the streets of Pontiac to show the love of Jesus to prostitutes and the the homeless. 

•I help launch Jen Hatmaker's latest book, For The Love, and then went to her house to celebrate. 

•My best friend came home twice this year! 

•I became an abolitionist, and made a stand against human trafficking. 

•My baby girl moved to Wyoming, and I cried for about six months. 

•I raised over $1000 for victims of human trafficking, by wearing a dress every day in December, so I jumped in a lake on Christmas morning. 

•I helped deliver a baby of one of my homeless girls. Best night of my life. 

•I completed a half marathon, and these feet took me to two countries.

Thirteen.

This story is long. 

It is full of plenty of ups, and plenty of downs. It has moments of ugliness, but overall, I think I can confidently say, it is a story of beauty. 

This season was all about waiting and trusting. And letting God show Himself good, and faithful. 

So often when I would beg to hear God's voice for direction, all I would hear is "Be still, and wait on Me." So I waited. And waited. And waited. And waited some more. 

There were so many closed doors. So many opportunities that I really believed were the beginning of the next season. But they weren't. 

I was still here. 

Months and months and months and months of waiting. 

And even though finanically, it was so very hard, in other areas of life, it was absolutely wonderful. 

Waiting and trusting gave me time and space. 

I learned that waiting isn't a passive, boring thing. 

I slept an healthy and appropriate amount every night. I trained for, and completed a half marathon. I advocated for victims of human trafficking, and raised $1,600! I preached the Gospel whenever I was given an opportunity. I help start a street ministry for prostitutes and the homeless. I helped deliver a baby. I spent real time with friends. I help launch a NY Times bestseller. I traveled to Austin, Buda, Houston, and Phoenix. I started training as a counselor at a crisis pregnancy center. I served weekly at a homeless shelter. I started writing my own book. I napped in the sun. I took care of myself. 

It was the perfect way to push "pause" and take care of myself, after years and years of taking care of everyone else. I nannied full time for years, and recently found myself so burnt out. My identity was in raising those babes, and when it was over, it was difficult. 

I figured I would have a new job the week after my nanny job was finished. Or at least that's the way I planned it. I started job hunting months before I was done, to assure the fact that there wouldn't be any wandering or waiting. 

Clearly things didn't work out the way I had planned.

That was a big life lesson to learn. 

"I'm not actually in control, and that's okay." 

So I job hunted, sent out resumes, and prayed for something to pan out. 

All the while I baby sat, dog sat, cat sat, fish sat, house sat, old lady sat, cleaned houses, ran random errands, and did odd jobs. 

Bills were paid. I was okay, but I wanted that next thing. 

Thirteen times I thought the door was going to swing open, the next season was going to begin, and the waiting would end. 

But thirteen times, I was wrong. 

Email after email full of "we are no longer pursuing your application, but good luck with your search!" filled my inbox. Three times God told me "No". A handful of times I never got an answer, even after a follow up. A couple of possibilities had interviews, and I was convinced we were so close. 

But nope.

They were all closed doors. 

Thirteen closed doors. 

Thirteen jobs I wanted, and had daydreamed of, never would be. 

Throughout the long process, I decided what I wanted, more than anything, and then committed to doing it, paid or unpaid. 

I want to do good, love people, and share Jesus. 

The same month I lost my job was the same month I started training for a half marathon. I now can see so many similarities in both situations. 

I remember when I ran my half marathon. The last .1 mile was the LONGEST moment of my life. 

I had just completed 13 miles by running, walking, skipping, jumping, and dancing. But that last .1 mile made me feel like no matter how far I had just come, the finish line would never get there. I wanted to quit more in that last .1, then the entire 13 full miles combined. (And that includes when I was vomiting as I ran into Canada.) 

That last little bit almost slayed my soul. 

I remember how everyone who saw me yelled, "You're almost there! Just a couple more blocks! You're so close!" Like that was supposed to be encouraging. It wasn't. I wanted to give up. I wanted to punch them in the face. 

But then I remember turning the corner, and seeing the finish line, all the balloons, and the stands of people cheering. 


I ran harder than I had all day, and I did it! I crossed the finish line. And I couldn't stop crying. The wait was over. There was a medal around my neck, a chocolate milk in my hand, and I could rest. 



Thirteen point one miles were behind me. 

I did that. 

It was tough. It was ugly at moments. It felt like it was going to last forever. It brought me to tears. It made me sick. The training lasted months and months. 

But. It made me stronger. And it made quite a beautiful story. 

So with thirteen closed doors behind me, I keep on going, praying that finish line shows up soon. Because I'm so tired, and I just can't wait for rest and that chocolate milk. And I know I didn't sign up for a full marathon. 

13 down, .1 to go. 

M 







Thursday, December 31, 2015

Thirty one days of dresses.

December 1

December 2 


December 3 

December 4 

December 5 

December 6 

December 7 

December 8 

December 9 

December 10

December 11 

December 12

December 13 

December 14 

December 15

December 16

December 17 

December 18 

December 19 

December 20

December 21


December 22 

December 23

December 24 

December 25 



December 26

December 27

December 28 

December 29

December 30

December 31 


I can't believe it is the last day of Dressember. 31 days of dresses. Wow. Together, we raised $1,360 for International Justice Mission and The A21 Campaign. I was on the front page of the local newspaper, bringing awareness to the issue and injustice of human trafficking. I was an advocate wherever I went, with the dress as my banner. I was a voice for the silenced and scared. I stood up for the forgotten and frail. I made a difference for the broken and belittled. Just because Dressember is over, and I may not choose to wear a dress every morning, doesn't mean I will stop being an advocate, a modern day abolitionist, a feminist, and a freedom fighter. Thank you to my tribe and my town for cheering me on. #youcandanythinginadress, including change the world. If you would like to help me get to my final goal of $2,000 by midnight, click the link, and give generously.


https://support.dressemberfoundation.org/fundraise?fcid=573098 

Love, M 

































Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Dressmeber update.

The last few days have been a complete roller coaster. 

I have been participating in Dressember all month long by wearing a dress every day to raise awareness and funds to do some good for the issue and injustice of human trafficking. 

I set my fundraising goal to $200. I figured I could give about $50, so I wasn't asking much from anyone else.

So I wore my dresses, posted my link, and had a couple of people donate. It was cool.



And then the local paper published an article about me doing the Dressember challenge, and the article was shared so many times. Every time I went on Facebook, another few people had shared it and tagged me in it. And I just wept with overwhelmed tears. For years I have been trying to be a voice for those who do not have a voice, and this week, I was able to be a little bit louder. And that is amazing. 

So I met my $200 goal, and decided to bump it up to $500. I could not fathom getting that much, because that's a lot of money, but I decided to just try. 

Within a few hours $500 was reached. I again was tearing up at the idea that my story had brought people to awareness and a place of movement. Isn't He soooo good?! 

Someone asked me if all of the money came in from random people that read the article. And you know what? It didn't. Almost all of it came from my For the Love sisters. They gave $5 and $100, and everything in between. They have been the best support system, and they aren't just talk. They put their money where their mouths are. The other donations were from people I did life with here, and a small number were from people I don't know well. 

But my favorite part about any of it? When people who I know well, and don't know at all, come together and give $1 or $200, it does real good, because we are united. 

I've just been so overwhelmed and blessed this week. 

I've been watching other friends that are doing Dressmeber meet goals and do goofy things to raise more money. 

Often if they raise do much money in a certain time frame, they will wear their wedding dress out in public for the whole day. I don't have a wedding dress, so I kept looking for something else. 

So if I raise $1000 by Christmas afternoon, I will take a swim in a lake, in a dress, in Michigan, in December. #polarplunge 

But seriously. This has been a blast raising awareness and money. The money goes to IJM and A21, where they are on the front lines of this issue. They are rescuing, restoring, prosecuting, and bringing justice. 

Thanks for coming on this wild ride with me. 

If you would like to give, check it out here: 
https://support.dressemberfoundation.org/fundraise?fcid=573098

If you would like to read the news article, check it out here: 
http://www.theoaklandpress.com/lifestyle/20151221/clarkston-woman-wears-dress-everyday-in-december-to-raise-awareness-of-human-trafficking

If you would like to learn more about International Justice Mission, check it out here: 
https://www.ijm.org

If you would like to learn more about A21, check it out here: 
http://www.a21.org/index.php

Thursday, December 17, 2015

This season. Oh so often my thoughts start with that phrase. This season has been unexpected. This season has been long. This season has produced so much growth and change in me. This season has taught me so much. This season has been so very hard, but it also has been so very good. 

I haven't had a "real job" or a consistent paycheck in nine months. So many things have fallen through. So many things have brought false hope. So many things were just empty promises. So for the past nine months, I babysit/ housesit/ dogsit/ catsit/ fishsit/ elderly sit, and I wait. I trust that there is a plan bigger and better than I could ever imagine, and I wait. 

The biggest thing I have learned about waiting, is that it's not boring or stagnant. It isn't passive or uneventful. This season has been my busiest and most fulfilling one yet. 

I have learned that while I may not have extra money to support causes and bless friends, I do have other things. I have a crazy amount of time to give, to share, to just be with, to listen, and to love. I have a voice that is gaining strength. I can be an advocate, I can encourage, I can bring awareness to big issues, I can educate, and I can share my story. 

I have learned a lot about dreams, passions, and experiences. I have always had a heart for women that are broken. But instead of *just* praying or sending money to an organization, this season has allowed me to be on the front lines of broken and hurting women. 

I encounter prostitutes and homeless women every week. I hold their hands, look into their eyes, and see oceans of pain. This fall I helped deliver the baby of a homeless friend, because she had no one else to call. I have been training to counsel women in crisis pregnancies to know a real, live Hope. I take phone calls almost daily of friends that are crying, and are so tired of how hard this life is. I wear a dress every day to raise money and awareness for the issue and victims of human trafficking. I sit and listen to the stories of lonely women that just want someone to show up and care. I snuggle scared little girls and whisper words of whimsy as they fall asleep. 

I carry them all in my heart, and I carry them all to my Jesus. 

This season of nothing going my way has produced so much goodness. It has been so far from my expectations or plan, but it has allowed for me to know my Jesus in ways I never have before (come over, I'll make coffee, and share story after story of His goodness and provision). It has allowed me to develop my voice and strengthen my story. It has given me a more open schedule to share life with real, broken people, and love them well. It has challenged me to figure out what is important, and run hard after that. It has brought much needed rest and restoration to my life after a long season of raising babies. It has been so very hard, but also so very good. 

No matter the season you are in, you can grow, you can learn, you can make a difference. You can do small things with great love, even in the seasons filled with unknown and waiting. Don't waste your life. 

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Dressember

Dressember! 


What is Dressember? Dressember is a collaborative movement leveraging fashion and creativity to restore dignity to all women. Dressember is a simple way to stand up for women who have been exploited for their femininity, women who are broken, women who are trapped in the sex trade, and women who cannot stand up for themselves. 


I will wear a dress every day this December to help raise awareness and advocate for these women. Human trafficking is a very real thing, and I'm not okay with it. We will never see the end of this, if we don't do anything about it. Our generation can end slavery. We can be a voice for those without a voice. We can stand up to injustice, and say, "No more." We can make the choice to bring awareness, be advocates, and make a change.


 "A dress can't change the world, but the woman wearing it can." 



Day One- I babysat, cleaned a house, grocery shopped, and did street minsitry. I had two people at walmart stop me to compliment me on my outfit, and I was able to share about Dressember. 




Day Two- I babysat, cleaned a house, went to the mall with a friend, and later went to yoga. All while wearing a dress. 





Day Three- I babysat for multiple families, and made cookies with a few kids. I didn't wear tights this day, and I noticed my legs got pretty chilly.



Day Four- I twirled a lot this day. I babysat a couple of families, and helped a mom out with housework. I was scrubbing the floor at one point, and ended up laughing pretty hard because my skirt kept getting in the way. 

I am having a lot of fun creating outfits, and knowing that I am not alone in fighting injustice with fashion and creativity. 

If you would like to support me during Dressember, you can donate at: 

https://support.dressemberfoundation.org/fundraise?fcid=573098

I've currently raised $51 out of my $200 goal. 


M