Being Content While Single : Adventure

 

 

Today is my last official post for this series. I am saddened to see it come to a close. I have enjoyed reading your comments. They have blessed me more than you could know. It boggles my mind that I don't know most of you, and yet God is allowing me to speak to you. I feel so under qualified and inadequate to share on being content while single, because a lot of days, I'm not. Thank you for letting me share my honest, not always glamorous life with you all. It brings my heart comfort to know I am not alone. You are wonderful. Keep those comments coming! I will draw a name tomorrow morning for one lucky reader to win some of my favorite things!

 

Adventure. I love adventure. Or at least I love the idea of it.

 

Last Valentine's Day I got on a plane all by myself, and flew down to Cochabamba, Bolivia. I didn't know anyone there. I went to work in orphanages for six weeks. Six weeks may not seem like a long time, but because it was the farthest away from home I had ever been, the longest time away I have ever been, and the first time truly alone, I was freaking out a little bit. I set out on my journey full of ideas of adventure and knowing my Jesus was going with me.

 

I had been told by people growing up that I would never really go anywhere. I would always be here, just stuck because I was too scared to go and do. They had their reasons to believe it. I was a very shy girl growing up. I didn't get my driver's license until I was a freshmen in college. I never went away to college. And then I never ended up finishing. I love being around my family, and just being home. I never wanted to move out of my parents' house, even after I was married. My plan was always to graduate high school, meet a nice man, and have babies. All of course by 23, because that is how every woman in my family has done it.

 

But that isn't me, anymore. My family lost our house my junior year of college, and I moved out and into my own place. It was frightening. But, God began to teach me to rely on Him, to trust that He will provide, and that He is always faithful. He taught me to dream. It was there in the quiet walls of that little apartment that He began to transform my heart. He became my best friend.

 

My dream to become a missionary began when I was four years old. My dad went on a building mission trip, and when he came home he told me stories. I was shocked that people around this world didn't know about Jesus, little babies didn't have parents, and churches didn't have buildings. I knew that this was what I wanted to do when I was older.

 

In high school, I went to Jamaica three times and served in orphanages. In college, I went to Guatemala, Honduras, and a reservation in Arizona to serve. But it wasn't until I went to Bolivia, alone, for six weeks, that I suddenly believed in my dreams and adventure. I really began to believe in myself, and that God could use me, even without a man beside me.

 

God has taught me so much when I am alone, and adventuring with Him.

 

I know that not everyone can relate to wanting to live in a developing country to work with orphans. And I have to remember that isn't my life currently. My heart may be beating for South America, but the rest of me needs to live here, in the now. I need to believe that God can use me wherever I am, I can choose to be content wherever I am, and I can dream and have adventures wherever I am.

 

So, I may not be getting on a plane today to fly somewhere crazy and new, but a sense of adventure is a good thing to have everyday.

 

God has been revealing a lot to me, about me lately. I have found myself holding out on doing things, just in case "he" shows up. Okay, I am now realizing that is not healthy, but before, I didn't even realize I was doing it.

 

I am learning adventure isn't just plane rides and trips. Adventure can be doing something you have always wanted to do, but for some reason haven't. Adventure can be small or huge. It is up to you to decide what it means to you.

 

My hair adventure:

My hair has always been brown and curly. But, I have always secretly wanted to have blonde straight hair. I never would change it, because honestly I wanted my hair to be long, brown, and curly for my wedding. I felt like I couldn't change it because my man may show up, and want to get married, and my hair was the wrong color. I hope you're laughing, because as I am writing this, I am. Who thinks like this?!? I was so caught up in worrying about plans that were not happening, I couldn't focus on living in the now. I am proud to say that now, I am a blondie. I don't know how long I will keep it this color, but I am loving it. And I am so thankful that I finally let myself make my own decision.

 

My kitchen adventure:

I love to bake. Put me in the kitchen, and I am a happy woman. Since I moved out unexpectedly, I didn't have all of the wonderful kitchen gadgets I wanted, I didn't even have the basics. So over the past three years, I gathered the basic essentials for my kitchen. I always avoided buying the things I really wanted because I thought that I could just register for what I wanted when I got engaged. (Once again, what was I thinking?!) I wasn't allowing myself to live in the now because I was so concerned about the future. So, on New Year's Eve, I went to the mall with my best friend from Japan, and used all of my Christmas money on kitchen things. The night before I had made a wish list, after reading hundreds of product reviews. It was one of the best feelings to do what I wanted, and not wait on a man. I loved my best friend chasing down a man who was working to help him find a specific zester I had on my wish list. He didn't even know what a zester was, but he found it. When I checked out, the lady working asked me what I was buying everything for. When I told it was all for me, she gave me a weird look, but I didn't care. I was living for me. I had always wanted a stand up Kitchen Aid mixer, and God blessed me with one! (Read the story here!) So now my kitchen is stocked with the good stuff, and I can bake to my little heart's content, knowing I'm not waiting on a man to buy a pie pan.

 

My serving adventures:

I live near Pontiac, Michigan. Pontiac is a rough city. It is located in between Flint and Detroit, two of the most dangerous cities in the country. But for some odd reason, I love Pontiac. I know my friends and family do not always love my love for the city. I have served by walking the streets early in the morning handing breakfast to the homeless. (Read the story here!) I have gathered coats, mittens, and hats for the homeless in Flint. I have served at community bbqs for low income neighborhoods. Every time I drive down there, it is an adventure. So much uncertainty surrounds me. Who will I meet? How can I meet their needs? How can I point someone to Jesus today? I love it.

Social media is perfect breeding grounds for boredom and discontentment. I challenge you to log off, and find adventure this week. There are people everywhere that need to be loved.

Friday's question: What is stopping you from living the life you want? What are you going to do about it?

 

 

 

 

GiveAWay Info: I will be giving a way a prize pack with some of my favorite goodies at the end of this series! Today is the last day to enter!! There is only one prize. You can enter every day of the week by answering the question at the end of each daily blog. You can go back to previous days blogs for additional entries. Leave a comment with your name, city and state, and your answer to my question to be entered in this week's prize pack! I will announce the winner in a post on Saturday, April 13th, 2013. The winner will have to contact me via email at michelletobolivia@gmail.com with their mailing address to receive their prize. Good luck! Prize Pack includes: The book Praying for Your Future Husband: Preparing Your Heart for His, Measuring cups and spoons, Nivea lip balm, Revlon nail polish, and a Bath and Body Work's lemon candle.

 

The Complete Series:

 

Intro

Day One: Identity
Day Two: Love

Day Three: Prayer

Day Four: Truth Day Five: Adventure

 

 

Valentine's Day...my day of adventures

Happy Valentine's Day!

Today is a day when kiddos will bring decorated shoeboxes to school to trade goodies, husbands will bring flowers home, women will prepare candle lit dinners, girls will enjoy a boxes of chocolate with friends, daddies will write sweet notes to their kiddos, couples will get engaged, and the whole world will stop, and think on this idea of love.

Well, the store was out of my favorite candy, I don't have a significant other, and my plans for tonight are Bible study. But, instead of being cranky about it, I want to share why Valentine's Day is one of my favorite days.

The last few years of my life have been pretty adventurous. I have had many moments where it feels like everything pauses for just a moment, and then life changes drastically. A couple of my biggest moments happened on February 14th.

Last year, on Valentine's Day, I hopped on a plane (actually four planes) to go to Bolivia. Alone, and ready for adventure, I lived in South America for 6 weeks loving and caring for orphans, people on the street, sick babies, and people everywhere. I went not knowing what to expect, slightly scared outta my mind, but ready to watch what God would do. It was incredible. By far, one of my favorite things of my life.

Three years ago on Valentine's Day, I moved out of my parents, and into my first place. I was nervous. I had never lived alone. But, I found out who I was, I taught myself to cook, I had so many adventures in that little apartment. It was incredible. My relationship with Jesus became more real. He became my everything.

So, today, I embark on another adventure. Nervous, excited, and ready. A few girls and I are launching our new website today. Our heart is to share the Gospel, and God's grace. There are devotions, declarations, recipes, diy projects, places to ask for prayer, and even giveaways. Something will be posted every day, so keep stopping in. :) I encourage you to check it out. Today is our launch party day! Wander around, enter giveaway contests, and be encouraged. :) 

www.graceeveryday.org

So, today enjoy sweets with your sweeties, and know you are loved.

You are loved by a real God, the Creator of the universe. He desires to be the lover of your soul.

Happy Valentine's Day. Have a lovely day. Love, M :)

Start dreaming...

How is it already mid January? I am amazed. Where have the last few weeks gone? Between friends in town, work, and getting sick, time has flown by.
I spent some time this weekend reflecting on the past year, and making plans for this year.
This year is so fresh, so full of possibilities. What will become of 2013? Will it be full of adventure? Love? Joy? Conquering goals? Newness? Travel?
I have talked with a few of my closest girlfriends about this lately. It seems like we are all sitting on the cusp of big things right now. We have allowed ourselves to dream out loud, and wonder what God has for us. It is an exciting yet scary conversation to have. We wonder how to get from here to there. We question if what we are doing now is really opening doors for our dreams. We plan, as single girls, wondering if maybe this will be the year things change. We want to be where His has us, but sometimes we are unsure what that looks like.
So, what are your big dreams for this year?
It's okay to dream big dreams. We have a good God, and He is faithful.
I am dreaming for: my feet to be on South American soil again, friends to know Jesus, adventures alone, and to be used wherever I am.
I am excited to watch as my friends and I see God to be faithful, and as He guides our steps to whatever is next.
Hello 2013, I can't wait.
Love, M :)

Wait, what's going on?

The other night I drove down the road to meet a friend and her parents at a restaurant. I had already eaten dinner at home, I was just going for the company, and to celebrate my friend's birthday. We've been friends since the beginning of high school, and I love her family.
We had a sweet time of conversation, and laughs, and then it was time to leave. My friend's parents started to get up, and put their jackets on. They were going to stop at the grocery store before heading home. I asked my friend if she drove separate, she responded no, with a confused look. I asked her then what are we going to do. How were we going to hang out, or get home? She laughed and reminded me, that we could take my car.
Somewhere in those few moments, I forgot I was a grown up. I wasn't a high school freshman anymore. I had a car. I had freedom. I had a home outside of my parents. I had a full time job. I was 25.
It was the strangest feeling to completely forget the reality of the now, and dwell in the dreams of the past, even if only for a minute.
We laughed about it, and left the restaurant.
I was baffled at myself for forgetting.
But how often do I forget that Jesus saved me and changed everything? How often do I live in the past, full of sin, mistakes, and regrets? My mind becomes tricked into thinking that is my reality. Sometimes I forget and live like the selfish, lost little girl from before. But that's not true. Jesus changed everything! I do not need to live in the past. He took care of that. I can focus, live in, and enjoy the now. I have freedom, I have a future, I have purpose.
It is a good idea to stop and remember that we don't have to live in the past. That's done. We have freedom to dream, adventure, and live life to the fullest, all because of Jesus.
Happy Friday!
Love, M :)

Wherever.

If you follow my stories or know my heart, you know I long to be back in Bolivia. My heart is to be back there serving full time, and to be on huge adventure with God. Most days, I don't want to be here.

But more than anything, I want to be content with wherever He has me. Because He has me here. For a reason. For a season. On purpose.

Philippians 4:11-Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content:


Hebrews 13:5-Let your conduct be without covetousness; be contentwith such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”


So, lately I have been praying, "God, wherever You have me, use me." 

 It has been interesting to see how He is using me.

The other day, I was on a website, and someone randomly messaged me, and asked if I was a Christian. I said yes, and he asked me if I could explain to him how to become one. So over the internet, I was able to share Jesus to someone I have never met. God brought to memory verses and truths from His word, and I was able to share how Jesus, and not any religion or tradition is the way to heaven and to God. The whole time, God reminded me that I prayed to be used wherever I was.

I have a good friend in Japan. He has been teaching English there for almost a year. I know he is homesick. So I used my Kitchen Aid (Remember this?) (how cool is it to bless someone with something you have just been blessed with?) and made him coconut chocolate chunk cookies. I mailed him all sorts of fun stuff. I don't know if he knows, but I pray for him daily. I just want to be a blessing to him, even on the other side of the world.

Wherever I am.

Since I have moved into my new place, I have had many opportunities to share Jesus. I have had more people over for real conversations in my two months here than I ever did in my two years in my old place. I have been able to sit on the couch with a cup of coffee, and share stories of His faithfulness. People who know Jesus, people who have never been inside a church, and all sorts in between have been over. Real conversations about a real God keep happening.

Wherever I am. 

The grocery store check out. The bank. Getting a hair cut. Dinner with an old friend. Family. To all generations. In Spanish. Picking up pizza. Walking downtown.

It doesn't make sense. The God of the universe is using me, a simple girl, with a normal life, wherever I am, to show people Jesus. It is mind boggling. But I am blessed.

I am so excited to see who is next. Who can I bless next? Who needs a cookie, a hug, a smile, a cup of coffee, a listening ear, Jesus, or a friend.

I challenge you this week.  Pray this with me. "God wherever you have me, use me." I promise, He will use you if you are willing. There are broken people everywhere. Let's be the hands and feet of Jesus, and show love, in real ways.

Love, M

A 50 pound bag.

I was just there.

I remember packing. I remember praying. I remember driving around to see people before leaving. I remember saying good byes. I remember get dropped off at the airport. I remember needing God to show up in HUGE ways, because I couldn't go to another continent without Him.

I remember because it was just a few short months ago. I left for Bolivia. All alone. Scared. Looking for adventure. Needing a real God. Ready to conquer injustice. Taking on the world. Saying goodbye to all I knew.

My friend, Lauren in this exact moment is where I just was. She is currently flying from Chicago to London, and then from London to Zambia, Africa where she will spend the next six months loving people.

She came over the other day to pray.

I was really looking forward to praying for her, with her. I was just there. All the emotions running were still fresh. I was only gone for six weeks, not six months, but I can imagine.

So she came over. We shared  our hearts for missions, and stories of a real God.

I began to pray for her. It was easy. How did I pray? I just remembered, What did I beg God for months before? What mountains did I need Him to move? What were things I was nervous about? I was just there. It was all fresh. I believe the Holy Spirit helps us pray. He brought something to memory I wasn't intending on praying about.

I began praying for her luggage to be the correct weight. Out of anything I could have prayed for, that was on my heart the most.

I reminded Lauren that our God is the same God that put planets into orbit, He split the Red Sea, He changed water into wine. He is more than capable to make bags weigh 50.0 pounds.

And its true. I remember fretting for days about my own bags being over weight. 

He is so faithful and sovereign. I put both of my bags on the scales at the Detroit airport on Valentine's Day, and they BOTH were 50.0 pounds. TO THE OUNCE. They were both pounds over when I left my house. He did that.


So, back to Lauren. She just called me a little bit ago. She  was boarding her flight to London. She told me she had to call and tell me about our real God.


She was so nervous about the weight of her bag. She was just praying and praying for it to be the proper weight. She said she put it up on the scale, and it was 50.0 pounds EXACTLY. She was then able to share about a real God and her faith to the airport workers checking her in.
br />
Are you kidding me?!?!


Scales don't lie. It isn't a coincidence. God is sovereign. He makes the path of the righteous smooth. He listens to the whispers of our hearts. He is faithful. He gives to us when we ask in Jesus' name. He is all powerful. He is God. He is in the business of miracles. He just wants our faith and obedience. He wants to be famous in all of the earth.


What a good God we serve.

Please be praying for Lauren as she travels to Africa, and as she settles in. She will be there for the next six months, and I know is coveting your prayers.

I look forward to watching God's favor and faithfulness our out on her in Africa.

Once she is up and blogging, I will link up with her blog, so you can follow along.

Overwhelmed once again by His goodness, M

These city lights....a girl could get lost tonight...

I normally prefer to fly early in the morning. I don't know if I have ever flown at night and sat by a window.

Tonight, I left Coch and flew to Santa Cruz. Coch Valley is strikingly beautiful. It is a huge, densely packed city, full of lights. At night, from a plane, it looks like God spilled glitter from Heaven onto a black sheet in a perfectly precisioned manner.

It must've been one of the prettiest things I have ever seen.

Blue, Orange, and white glitter, sparkling down below. Looking just like the magical city that stile my heart 6 short weeks ago.

Cochabamba, I will miss you, and your surprising beauty. You hold a special place in my heart, and I long to return one day. I hope for the day when I can call you home.

More stories.....

A man told me to go up the electronic ladder to immigration. He meant escalator.

Trying to leave the country....my bag was searched twice. Once because I have a flashlight, and it showed up on the xray. The second time almost everything was taken out of my carry on. My bags of coffee were cut open and he smelled them to make sure I wasn't smuggling coke. He complimented how good the coffee smelled. (I laughed. It is great coffee) I was then questioned by two men. I then thought I was in the clear. But then a woman directed me into a room and patted me down.

So glad my Jesus was with me. I wasn't freaked out.

I was humored that little, missionary, me appeared to be a threat. But grateful they are strict on drug trafficking. I believe Bolivia is the 2nd or 3rd biggest coke distributor in the world. And the good ole US of A is the number one consumer in the world. Interesting fact.

I am now in a room waiting to go to the gate. It's after one in the morning and I am getting tired.

Hoping we board soon. I am looking forward to a nap en route to Panama!

I am now in Miami. My flight home has been delayed by three hours. I am just ready to be home. I am tired. I am tired of sleeping in airports and airplanes. I am anxious to see my family.

But even here, God is using me.

A woman ran up to me, and frantically asked if I spoke English. She then shared that her daughter is having her first baby in Miami. The woman is from Chicago. She was so upset because she got a cab to see her daughter, but was $17 short. Her bank card wasn't working, and she didn't know where to go next, or what to do. I handed her some money, and asked if I could pray for her. She started crying, and agreed. She was overwhelmed by me, but I just told her, its just Jesus. Please be praying for Joann and her daughter Sarah,  having a baby.

I am so glad He is using me in tangible ways in foreign places, and home too. What a good God we serve.

Flight should leave around 10! Be home early tomo morning!

Just popping by...

Happy Wednesday! Just popping by to say hello!

I went with Kathryn this morning to pick up the newest member of our team, Devon. She is from Texas, and is here for a year. We had a blast yelling at her from the observation deck! What dorks. We got home, and got her settled in. Be praying for her, she has a case of altitude sickness. She had a layover in La Paz. La Paz is the highest capital city and the highest airport in the world. So, she isn´t feeling the greatest. We took her out to lunch at one of my favorite places, Sumo. They have yummy panini sandwiches and fresh juices. We popped by the internet cafe to touch base with the world. And next, we are going to the ladies´tea at church.

Nothing too crazy or new has been happening here.

Kiddos havent had school the past 3 days due to blockades. There are blockades because people are protesting. I´m not exactly sure what or why.

I got a manicure for about $2 USD. It was very nice. The girl who works at the little salon is Sonya. Be praying for her. We are becoming friends, and I want to share more about my heart and passions, but my Spanish is struggling.

I only have 2 weeks left here in this beautiful country. I have started making a bucket list of all the things I want to do before leaving. Hoping to get as much done as possible.

Sunday a few of us went up to the Cristo statue. It was the tallest Jesus statue in the world until Poland finished theirs recently. It was pretty amazing. We were able to walk up inside about up to the arms of Jesus. The staircases were narrow and winding. I think it may have been a once in a life time thing. Was not a fan of being inside, but glad I did it. To dispell many rumors, I did not go to Rio de Janerio. The Cochabamba Jesus statue is in the valley, and is actually larger than Brasil´s. I am still in Bolivia. HA HA! It was a beautiful view! I´ll throw pictures up later!

Have a wonderful day! Love, M

last blog for tonightne

#3 blog of the night! WOO! Hope you all have enjoyed reading the past little bit. I feel like I will never be able to express all that God is doing, all that I feel, experience, and see. But I am trying to relate as best as I can.

I think tomorrow I am going to do a "who's who" blog. I'm sure some other missionaries' names will wind up in here. So cool to see how we are all knit together.

A few families here are from Michigan. I get to do the "I live here...while pointing to hand" and talk about home to people who know it very well, while in South America. Goodness, so cool.

I will also try to paint word pictures of the different ministries, money, food, and different locations (city, mountains, guesthouse, my room, etc) so that way yall have a better picture until I post pictures.

But tonight, I sit jamming out to music, and drinking coca cola in my room. I am the only one staying in the house this weekend. Blogging away to my heart's content,or at least for a few more minutes.

Toilet paper CANNOT be flushed in Bolivian toilets. Their system can't handle it. Most public restrooms and homes don't even have tp.

Sink faucets are labeled "c" and "f". I wasn't thinkning the first time, and wanted cold water, and got a surprise of agua caliente!

The weather is lovely. Or at least I think so. Bolivians would disagree. I saw many wearing knit caps and winter jackets. It was 67 degrees F. It did rain some, which kept it cool. Dirt roads are muddy messes. My toms are pretty muddied up. It was sunny yeasterday morning. I ate Bolivian Fruit Loops outside. Yumm!

Bolivians = people Bolivianos = money

The water here is very unsafe. One of the other missionaries rinsed his toothbrush off with tap water, and left it out to dry over night. (If the water is completely dry, it is safe) His toothbrush didnt dry all the way, and he used it the next morning. He got sick with a stomach fungus. No thank you! Pleay hbe praying for all of us down here o be and stay healthy.

I had lunch at a Bolivian ish Panera my fisrt day. Panini sandwich with chicken, mushroom, onion, tomatoes, and cheese. It was amazing.

My first night for dinner we had chinese. Second night we had Iranian kebobs. Third night we had pizza. Haha. Its all been amazing, but I am ready for Bolivian food.

During the huge holiday/festival of Carnival, teenage boys will use water guns and water balloons to get girls and traffic wet. I was initiated today. Ha ha.

i got to call my daddy yesterday. It was a fun surprise! i talked to himfor 15 minutes. It was nice to hear his voice, and gush about my love for here.

i went to an orphanage my first day here. I was holding the sweetest boy on the couch, and I fell asleep. I had traveled 10am Tuesday - 10am thursday, and didnt get much sleep the last night. When I woke up, I was covered in a blanket, and had 9 pairs of chocolate brown eyes staring at me. next time I go over there, I need to be super awake and fun. Dont want them to think of me as the boring, sleeping girl!

Cochabamba is in a valley. We are surrounded by mountains that are the foothills of the Andes Mountains. Pretty cool!

I am falling more in love with being here than I ever could've imagined. I know I have 5.5 weeks left, but I wish it was forever. I think leaving is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. But I am trying to not focus on that. Just taking it day by day, and doing as much as possible while I am here.

Pretty excited to go to church tomorrow. I miss corporate worship, and coming together. I know it has only been a week, but I crave it. I think music is Spanish and English. Preaching is in English, with a spanish translator in headphones for Bolivians.

God is moving here. It is just a very dark place. Be praying for a pouring out of the Holy Spirit, and a revival. There is much work to do. Excited to be doing what i have been called to do.

Earlier tonight i read over some old blogs. Pretty cool stuff. Aasking for prayer about something specific, and two blogs later it is answered.

Thank you for supporting, reading, praying, encouraging and loving me.

Love you. Night Night. Mi

PS- I am a times zone ahead of any readers in the States. Im writing this from the future. Bahahahah. Sunday is looking good ;)

Ah what a day.

I took a truffi by myself today. A truffi is a vehicle (kinda like a taxi and a bus) that has a certain route they drive all day. They all have route numbers posted on the front of their vehicles. They can be vans, cars, suvs, or buses. They cost 1 B and 70 centavos. (30ish cents in US) The price is the same regardless of how long you ride. To get on, you stand on a corner or kinda in the street and wave one down. I take the 270 up and down America. (a main road. off of it is my house, mike and bonnie's house, the store, the church, etc) Once on, you might be the only person riding, or there could be over 20, depends on the route and time of day. To get off you hollar "i want to get off" or "the next corner please". It is an interesting way to travel! But cheap and effective!

Went to Saturday outdoor market. i bought cilantro, onion, tomato, and avacado to make guac tomo. i do have to wash everything in a special antiseptic before doing anything with it, so i need to pick it up at the store after church. i also bought a huge bouquet of daisies for my room for 5 b's (equal to less than a $1 usd)

went to baby washing in the plaza. i didn't wash today. i dressed the babes after they were washed. some had scabies and other things on their skin. heart breaking. but my oh my, i was smitten.

mike and i then went to another side of town to the coffee roaster. he wasn't finished yet, so i got to watch beans be roasted, ground and bagged. man it smelled good in there! about 50% of proceeds from bolivia's best coffee goes right into these orphanages. so cool. and it is really good coffee. i encourage people to buy it, now that i really see how it profits here. (check out the link on my blog!)

we then went out to pizza. three missionary families and me. there is so much work to be done here, and everyone has different passions, so its cool how God uses them all differently. There is work with the homeless on Tuesday nights. Fridays Steve goes to a bad part of town with some nurses and brings medical care to prostitutes and glue sniffers. He said it is the hardest thing, there are so many images you cant get rid of, that you wish you never saw. But i am anxious to do work there. God lit under me a fire for girls and women in prostitution and human trafficking, so looks like i get to get my hands dirty. there is also a nutrition center in town that takes care of kids. danee was telling me that one baby she just saw was 7 months old, but looked like a newborn. he was all skin and bones. there aren't enough workers there, so a lot of times babies are left in their cribs. so i plan on serving there too. such a need for Jesus' love. not even necessarily sharing the gospel yet, just meeting basic needs and showing love. what a broken place.

Ecclesiates 1:18 "For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief." The more I see here, the more heartbroken I have become. But these people will not be freed, healed, and restored if we turn our backs, and avert our eyes. So convicted to do as much as I can in the name of Jesus while I am here.

I apologize for poor grammar.I am trying to get a few blogs done tonight before bed, so just pounding them out.

Pray for adjustment to the high altitude. I had a headache today. And for a continued healthy body!

(one of my friend's little girl's prays that Jesus would keep me safe if a bear were to bite my finger. out of the mouth's of babes. goodness, i love it!)

Love you all, M

the journey

February 15

I sat in the Miami airport at my gate sobbing. The reality of what i was about to embark on was staring me straight in my face. I wasn't scared. I just hated saying goodbye. My phone was dying, and once I boarded that plane, no more phone calls, text messages, facebook checks, or emails at my fingertips. The next time I talk to my loved ones was unknown.

So, I cried over that.

And then one of my closest friend's mom called for a quick last goodbye. She said her 39 week pregnant daughter (my friend), went to the doctor, and was having contractions. That was when the full on sobbing began. I wanted to meet that baby, brand new and just born. I know there are countless hours of baby time once I get back in April, but I wanted to hold him before I left. I hate knowing that I missed it. I know its not a big deal, but to me, in that moment, it was everything.

Sobbing in the airport, I began to pray. I needed the Holy Spirit, the Comforter to come in a tangible way.

i cried standing in line to board, I cried boarding the plane, and putting my carryon away, I cried sitting down and buckling up. Everyone on that plane must've had some interesting opinions of the sobbing, snotting American. I continued to pray for comfort.

Almost everyone on that plane spoke Spanish, so I started praying for someone to speak English. The plane was still boarding, and I still had big, fat tears rolling down my cheeks, when a girl with a Mickey Mouse shirt on came up to me. She stopped at my seat, put her hand on mine, and said something in Spanish. I being ever so graceful, blurted out, "Any chance you know English?!?" She responded in gorgeous English, "Yes, I do. I am actually fluent in 5 languages. I am a translator." I was then able to share why I was upset. You know how sometimes you just need to say it to someone listening, and then it is over? Well that was the case. I said it outloud that I was sad about missing my friend's son being born, but how excited i was to know I was going to where God had me to be. She reminded me of some truth, and rubbed my arm, and sat down. That was all I needed. Just the comfort of knowing someone cared, and being reminded that He's got me in the palm of His hand. No more tears after that. :)

More airplane stories...

Just had lunch. I think. Or an early dinner at 3:30. I had a hot, cheesy, turkey sandwich, a small salad, a coca cola, and 2 oreos. It hit the spot. I didn't even realize i was hungry. The man next to me doesn't speak any English, but he and his wife have kind eyes. I know everyone eats oreos differently, but i have never seen them eaten quite like this before. The man next to me opened his cookies, and scraped every bit of cream out of it, and then ate them. Better not get him double stuff oreos! Haha!

On the radio in the plane all of the verses of "I've been working on the railroad" are playing in English. So random.

I opened up my journal to write these tales down, and a piece of paper fluttered onto my lap. It was a verse from a friend. Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." True that! Such a great reminder that wherever I go, He is with me, no need to fear!

The overwhelming theme of the past few hours has been God is not American. He doesnt just speak English. He truly is universal. Every man, woman, boy, and girl need Him in a very real way, if if they don't think they do. Religion or English may not translate, but a very real Savior does. I knew that before, but now with every part in me, I know that to be true. The power and love of Jesus can break barriers. I am so excited to share His love with some heartbroken and hurting people. Since He does not only speak English, and He lives inside of me, I believe He can, and will break barriers of language, culture, religion, and my awkwardness to share His love.

Love, M

when the road becomes foggy

Waking up a few of the past few mornings, I have been surprised to find my entire world engulfed in fog. It makes driving a bit more of a hassle. (I love to drive aimlessly, but driving with a purpose has become a chore.)

One such dark morning, I was on my way to babysit. It was early, and not many people were on the road yet. I was a bit more than a mile away from home, and suddenly I couldn't see anything more than two cars length ahead of me.

The street lamps, the traffic lights, other cars, everything was invisible in the darkness and fog. It was eerie. I knew that I wouldn't get lost. I had taken this road at least twice a day, if not multiple times more for the past two years. I knew I was going in the right direction, but still the uncertainty of not being able to see the road, or my surroundings had me battling fear, doubt, and anxiety.

This seems silly, I am aware. I wasn't even sure what I was afraid of. As soon as I was out of that patch of fog, I laughed at myself for being freaked out. But in those few seconds, what I knew to be true didn't matter, all that I saw was uncertainty.

I feel like that is my life lately. Uncertain.

I doubt if God called me to Bolivia for six weeks. I wonder if I'll be able to handle it. I doubt that my Spanish will be good enough to communicate. I wonder if my visa be approved and be returned in time.

I am scared of airports, customs, and immigration. I am nervous about flying in a small plane from La Paz to Cochabamba. I am scared outta my mind about going completely alone. I have doubts on if the money will all come in. I am frightened that when I return, life here won't be the same, that I would've missed out on so much. I am on edge about even writing this blog and sharing my fears.

This is my fog.

I am in a fog of uncertainty. For these few seconds, or weeks, what I know to be true (He HAS called me to serve in Bolivia) is being overpowered by doubt from the enemy and my flesh.

And then I remember His faithfulness.

He remembered Noah and in His perfect timing, placed him where he needed to be. (Gen 8:1-3)

He told Abraham to leave his home, and go to a land He would later show him. (Gen 12:1-4)

He was with Joseph when he was in an unfamiliar land. (Gen 39:2)

When Moses feels like he cannot speak, He reminds him who He is. (Ex 4:10-12)

He keeps Daniel safe from eminent danger. (Dan 6:26-27)

This is my God.

Romans 8:15a "For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave to fear..."

Deut 31:8 "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

Josh 10:25a "Joshua said to them, 'Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous..."

Psalm 56:4 "In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

Heb 13:6 "So that we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?'"

Isa 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I feel the fog lessening, and the truth regaining clarity. I still must prepare myself for my trip. My Spanish classes begin the beginning of January. My Bolivian travel books have changed from cute coffee table decorations to bedside companions, marked and highlighted. God has provided me with almost $700 since my last post (YAYY!) I have started the process to set up a visit my my compassion international girl, Karen, I sponsor. I have a budget of what bills need to be paid while I am gone.

I am still uncertain. But I will continue to push forward, knowing He is with me, and He is preparing the way.

Please continue to pray with/for me. I appreciate it more than you could imagine.

Only about seven weeks until its go time!

Have a wonderful, wintery, Wednesday! Love, M

getting kicked out of a country isn't ideal

Last night I went to my youth pastor's home for a reunion Christmas party for all the high school leadership kids that have graduated.

There are now seven classes that attend, so there were quite a few of us over. We played mafia and banana grams, watched a video we had made five years ago, and all caught up. I was the oldest "kid" there (are you still a kid at 24?!?), so a lot of the younger kids didn't know all of the infamous stories from when I was in high school. I was reminded of one such story that was turned out pretty life changing.

My senior year of high school about 15 or so of the leadership team went on a mission trip to Jamaica. We went for a week, and put on a Vacation Bible School, worked in orphanages, and did work projects at a local church.

This was our third year going to Jamaica over spring break.

At the time, to travel to Jamaica, the only travel documents we needed was a birth certificate and school id or driver's license. I had turned 18 five months prior, so according to the law, I needed a state id or driver's license, not just a school id. I didn't have a driver's license at the time. And we didn't even think about the fact I was legally an adult.

I was in charge of all the craft projects for the V.B.S. and orphanages. We each had a carry on bag, and two pieces of luggage (this was before baggage fees, ah the good ole days) one for personal stuff, and one of random tools, craft supplies, tooth brushes, candy, etc. We weighed our bags, prayed with our families, and left the church for the airport. I have never been a huge fan of flying, even before this day, so there was some excitement and anxiety, but soon we were on our way. We had a layover, but were soon in Jamaica.

We began to pile off the plane, anxious to be there. We gathered in the airport in line to go through customs and immigration. About half the group was on the other side of the checkpoint waiting for the rest of us to get through and grab our luggage.

It was my turn.

I gave Karen, the airport worker my school id and birth certificate. She proceeded to ask my age, and if I had another form of identification. I began to get nervous.

 She called her supervisor over to ask her about me. I was clueless. Everyone else had gone through without an issue. The supervisor came over and began yelling at me. I didn't have the proper paper work...they were going to put me on a plane and send me back to the US...if she would ever come to my country and didn't have the proper paper work, she would be thrown out...who was in charge of my group...etc.

So my youth pastor came over to see what the commotion was about. He explained he didn't know about the paperwork mistake, and explained that we were on a trip to serve. The supervisor was yelling at both of us now.

I was so scared. I hated to fly in general, let alone was terrified to get on a plane alone because I was being kicked out of a country.

They said I would have to sit in the customs and immigration office alone until they figured out what to do with me.

 My youth pastor went to the rest of the group and asked them to start praying. The supervisor went away for a moment, and the original airport worker told my youth pastor and me to go through a certain set of doors.

I was crying and devastated. I had saved money, worked fundraisers, and planned crafts and lessons, I was supposed to be there. I was so close. What was God thinking? Why was everything falling apart?

We went through the doors, and on the other side was our entire group, outside. We were so confused. We looked around, and started to leave as fast as possible. After sobbing for a few minutes, I realized, I was free. We were on our way away from the airport, and I was on the bus.

Karen had snuck me into Jamaica.


We had an amazing week. We had so many opportunities to be a blessing to so many people, and in return were blessed beyond belief. I served the least of these in Jesus' name with some of ny dearest friends, and God used us. We saw kids and adults turn their lives over to Christ. It was incredible.

Any time we saw police, everyone hid me in the crowd. We kept thinking they were coming to take me away for being in their country illegally. I don't think we breathed easy until the end of the week.

Finally it was the day to return to the US. We spent more time in prayer than normal that morning, as I was nervous about all things airport related. We were packed and on our way.

We had to go through customs and immigration on the way out. There were multiple lines, and I chose one, and was shaking as I approached the desk.

I looked up, and it was Karen, the same woman who had risked her job by sneaking me into her country.

She remembered me. She was a Christian, and believed in what we were doing that week. She told me she had prayed for us that week. She asked how my week was, and through the tears I was able to quickly share how God showed up, and people met Jesus for the first time. It was incredible.

Could you call it a coincidence that the same woman who snuck me into the country was the last person I saw as I left the country? Out of thousands of travellers on spring break and vacations, she remembered me? Out of the numerous lines to be in, that I was in hers? That she was a Christian and believed in me and what we were there for? Are they all coincidences? I guess you could call them that, but I won't.

I firmly believe I have a God that takes care of His children, who has perfect timing, and an incredible plan that we often don't understand in the midst of it.

I was supposed to be in Jamaica that week, and there was nothing the government or airport security could do about it. God made a way when it seemed impossible, prayer worked right before my eyes, and I experienced a real God who really does care.

As I prepare for Bolivia in February, I do have anxiety about so many things. I frequently tell God He shouldn't have called me, or doubt that He did. But when it comes down to it, I am going with a big God who brings peace and is real. John 4:4b "because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world." He's bigger, greater, and in my side.

So, prayers for safe travel are appreciated...especially for smoothness while going through customs. :0)

Update: I still need about $1,500 by January 14th...please be praying that God supplies the remainder of the funds.

A HUGE THANK YOU to all who have been supporting me financially, with prayer, cans and bottles, and extra babysitting jobs. You are all amazing.

Love you all,
Michelle :0)

here

Welp, here I go...

Here begins the tales of adventures, the stories of provision, the unexpected smiles, the sharing of dreams, and the random ramblings. Here is where I intend to pass on my love for life, my Savior, and the desire to dream.

The other day, I heard a quote, "If your dreams don't scare you, they aren't big enough." Wow. What a profound statement. I believe we have a God we can't out dream.

I am excited to share one of my big dreams, and how God is beginning to make it come true.

Can't wait to share all things Bolivia related, and how good God is. But for now, I need sleep.

Psalm 34:8 Taste and see that the Lord is good....