Just a reminder.

I was reading in Psalms this morning, and wanted to share a couple gems I read.
Psalm 47:8 God reigns over the nations; God is seated on his holy throne.
Psalm 48:14 For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.
Psalm 49:5 Why should I fear when evil days come, when wicked deceivers surround me-
Psalm 55:22 Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.
Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I will trust in you.
Join me in praying for our nation. Pray for healing, peace, and comfort that only Jesus can bring.
Happy Sunday.
Love, M :)

Looking Back- Part One

Fall does a few things to me. It makes me want to sip hot apple cider, while wearing boots, watching football outside. It makes me want to soak up every bit of the warm sun's rays before winter comes. It puts a smile on my face because once green leaves change to bold, beautiful colors. It also makes me reflect.

Fall is a time of change. It is a time of new beginnings. It is my favorite time to sit in the crisp air and remember.

Sometimes remembering brings a smile to my face, sometimes remembering is hard, but remembering is important. It shows us who we were, and how we have changed.

This is my third autumn living out of my parents house. I was thinking about each of the three years I have been a 'grown up'. All three years have a very different theme. All three years I discovered a different characteristic of God. He doesn't change. (Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday today and forever.) But my circumstances changed, and I changed, so how I viewed God changed.

The first year was the hardest. My family lost our house. Financially things became very hard. I moved into my own place by myself. My grandfather unexpectedly passed away. At the end of the year, by faith, I quit my job teaching preschool with no next job in sight. My mom started not feeling well. Friends moved away. Life became difficult.

But you know what? I discovered that God is provider. God is so amazing. He is all knowing, and he is always working. He was never surprised by any of our heartache or hard times. He was in control through it all. Only because He is who He is, did life work.

Randomly I would get babysitting jobs just in time to buy groceries, or when I needed gas for my car. A dream job offered me a fulltime position three days before my last day teaching. He brought incredible new friends into my life at the most perfect moments. My parents have seen God provide over and over and over and over. Their faith has been the most incredible thing to witness as a daughter.

God's provision was so apparent in my life that year. Someone the other day asked me how did I live alone on what I made years ago. I laughed, and then really thought about it, and it was seriously only because of God. He alone deserves the glory. Life is hard, but He is provider. (Luke 12:24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!)

I challenge you to ask God to be your provider, and then in faith, let Him! He is already in control, so you might as well let go, and enjoy it.

Have an incredible day!

Love, M

i don't understand.

Today was a hard day. By far the hardest I have had in Bolivia.

I received an email telling of a devastating family tragedy.

Please be praying for my family in this time.

As I have had some time to begin to process the best I possibly can, I have realized some things to be true.

-God is still God.
-My Jesus is real.
-When life or death doesn't make sense, He does.
-He conquered the grave.
-He is sovereign.
-"Daddy" has a plan.
-He is close to the brokenhearted.

It was emotionally draining seeing my street kids for the last time today. When I walked into the plaza, some girls shouted "Senorita Meechelle esta aqui!!!" They remembered my name, and were excited to see me. Thank you Jesus for little smiles in the midst of tragedy.

I am exhausted. I am spent. I am broken. I am nothing. I need Jesus to be all that He says He is. I need to rest in His arms tonight.

Please be praying for my family and our broken hearts. Please be praying for me as I only have 4.5 days left here. Be praying for strength to be His hands and feet. Be praying for my transition back home.

Love you, M

when the road becomes foggy

Waking up a few of the past few mornings, I have been surprised to find my entire world engulfed in fog. It makes driving a bit more of a hassle. (I love to drive aimlessly, but driving with a purpose has become a chore.)

One such dark morning, I was on my way to babysit. It was early, and not many people were on the road yet. I was a bit more than a mile away from home, and suddenly I couldn't see anything more than two cars length ahead of me.

The street lamps, the traffic lights, other cars, everything was invisible in the darkness and fog. It was eerie. I knew that I wouldn't get lost. I had taken this road at least twice a day, if not multiple times more for the past two years. I knew I was going in the right direction, but still the uncertainty of not being able to see the road, or my surroundings had me battling fear, doubt, and anxiety.

This seems silly, I am aware. I wasn't even sure what I was afraid of. As soon as I was out of that patch of fog, I laughed at myself for being freaked out. But in those few seconds, what I knew to be true didn't matter, all that I saw was uncertainty.

I feel like that is my life lately. Uncertain.

I doubt if God called me to Bolivia for six weeks. I wonder if I'll be able to handle it. I doubt that my Spanish will be good enough to communicate. I wonder if my visa be approved and be returned in time.

I am scared of airports, customs, and immigration. I am nervous about flying in a small plane from La Paz to Cochabamba. I am scared outta my mind about going completely alone. I have doubts on if the money will all come in. I am frightened that when I return, life here won't be the same, that I would've missed out on so much. I am on edge about even writing this blog and sharing my fears.

This is my fog.

I am in a fog of uncertainty. For these few seconds, or weeks, what I know to be true (He HAS called me to serve in Bolivia) is being overpowered by doubt from the enemy and my flesh.

And then I remember His faithfulness.

He remembered Noah and in His perfect timing, placed him where he needed to be. (Gen 8:1-3)

He told Abraham to leave his home, and go to a land He would later show him. (Gen 12:1-4)

He was with Joseph when he was in an unfamiliar land. (Gen 39:2)

When Moses feels like he cannot speak, He reminds him who He is. (Ex 4:10-12)

He keeps Daniel safe from eminent danger. (Dan 6:26-27)

This is my God.

Romans 8:15a "For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave to fear..."

Deut 31:8 "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

Josh 10:25a "Joshua said to them, 'Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous..."

Psalm 56:4 "In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

Heb 13:6 "So that we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?'"

Isa 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I feel the fog lessening, and the truth regaining clarity. I still must prepare myself for my trip. My Spanish classes begin the beginning of January. My Bolivian travel books have changed from cute coffee table decorations to bedside companions, marked and highlighted. God has provided me with almost $700 since my last post (YAYY!) I have started the process to set up a visit my my compassion international girl, Karen, I sponsor. I have a budget of what bills need to be paid while I am gone.

I am still uncertain. But I will continue to push forward, knowing He is with me, and He is preparing the way.

Please continue to pray with/for me. I appreciate it more than you could imagine.

Only about seven weeks until its go time!

Have a wonderful, wintery, Wednesday! Love, M