Without being rude or arguing for the sake of arguing, I want to share why it upset me so much.
The title of this woman's blog was "Re-Thinking Waiting On The Lord For Husbands For Our Daughters".
She begins her post by saying, "We told our girls who have heart’s desire to marry that they should, “Wait on the LORD to bring you a husband. It needs to be the right man, and the right time, God’s time.” And while I agree with that teaching in some ways, in other ways it is creating older daughters who are still unmarried at 32." ... "And I know, sometimes even in our best efforts our daughters may still not marry at an early age."
I believe there is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting on the Lord, and believing in His perfect timing. I also believe there is nothing wrong with being unmarried at 25, 27, 32, or even 37.
She then states, "We can’t fight the enemy at the gates if our kids don’t have a family, and families start with marriage."
In 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, Paul talks about single women, and how they can serve more and be more focused on pleasing the Lord, without distractions. Married women have the wonderful gift of serving and taking care of their husbands. One is not better than the other, they are just different.
Because I am single, I am able to travel and love on people in other countries for months at a time, not missing my family. I can share the name of Jesus in downtown Detroit, and not worry that I won't be home in time to fix dinner. I can pour into lives on a weekly basis for hours, loving them, mentoring them, and encouraging them, without a man wanting me home to love and encourage him.
Don't get me wrong, I would absolutely love to have a husband. I dream about my arms being full of curly haired babies. I want to have dinner on the table every night for my family when my man walks in the door. But that isn't my current reality. I am a single girl, sometimes struggling to be content, and in the mean time, serving Jesus and others.
I have seen friends confess Jesus, babies healed, lives transformed, broken families reunited, and people living free, all because of the power of the name of Jesus. That is what will allow us to fight the enemy, and that alone. The battle against the enemy will not be won because people had a lot of babies. Lives will be transformed and the enemy will be defeated because of Jesus.
She goes on to say, "Biologically speaking, this is alarming (age of marriage rising) as we are all well aware that the older a woman gets, the fewer children she will have, and if she waits until she’s 40+ to marry, the chances of her having any children are rare indeed."
Do not be quick to forget who our God is. He is the Great I Am. He is the one who caused a woman in her 90's (Sarah- Genesis 17:17) to give birth to Isaac, the son of promise. He is the one who gave a baby boy to a woman who for years was barren. (Hannah- 1Samuel 1) He is also the Almighty who placed a baby in the womb of a virgin! (Mary- Matthew 1:18)
I have been told I need to 'hurry up" for a couple of years now. I know that my biological clock is beginning to tick, but even more, I know the One who causes it to tick. He alone is the one that opens and closes wombs. If one day He chooses to give me eight babes, or an empty house, He will still be good, and He will still be God. My ultimate goal in life is not to have a home full of children. It is to honor Jesus.
She then finishes up with, "Prayer is essential, yes, but we can’t leave it at that. (We) can’t just sit back and wait for the LORD to supernaturally bring a wonderful young man into the lives of our daughters..."
In her blog she recommends parents trying new churches with their daughters to look for a husband, having people over for cookouts, and encourages parents to find their son-in-law.
I have often wondered what kind of man my parents would pick for me. I'm sure he would be wonderful, and handsome. But as much as my parents love me, they don't know what I truly need. The man they pick could just be a good actor. He may appear to be a man that loves Jesus, or he could just know what to say, and not say. I want the man that God chooses for me. Our God knows the heart, thoughts, and intentions of man. 1 Samuel 16:7 says, "But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”"
Prayer is so important. James 5:16 says, "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." I believe God hears our prayers, and honors them, in His timing. His Word says that He works all things together for good for those that love Him, and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) I believe that He is working this out. The Bible also reminds us in a few places not to worry. So I will choose not to worry, and believe that God knows what is best for me.
Our God's very nature is that He is supernatural. Everything He does screams that. Creation is just the beginning of His handiwork. The entire Bible tells of Him making the blind see, calming the storms with His voice, calling down fire from heaven, freeing an entire nation from captivity, and changing water to wine, just to name a few. John 21:25 says, "Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written." It is natural to His being to perform miracles, do things that only He can, and bring glory to His name.
I am learning that waiting is not a passive thing. Sitting at home and knitting is not necessarily the best way to meet your husband. But, it is not outside the realm of possibilities for God to send him to your front door. Do the things you love. Be involved in the areas you are passionate about. Go on adventures. Serve the least of these. Don't put your life on hold waiting on him to show up. Don't be waiting for him to ring the doorbell, meet him on the front porch.
I will continue to serve whether or not I have a husband by my side, or a baby on my hip. I will strive to honor Jesus, even when it is difficult. And I will seek to find contentment in whatever state I am in, because of Jesus.
I hope you know my heart was not to be hurtful, but to really just share where I was coming from.
Love, M
You can read her full blog post here.
Loving an orphaned girl in Cochabamba, Bolivia.
