Being Content While Single : Truth

 

 

Hello Day Four! Wow! This week and this series is flying by!!

 

Today I want to talk about the importance of truth and truth tellers in your life.

 

As a single girl, we often hear lies. Lies can come from many places; whispers in your mind that you are not good enough to have a man, thoughts that God has forgotten about you, overheard conversations of church women saying there must be something wrong with you, feelings of hopelessness, the reminder that everyone is moving on while you just stay single and stuck, and of course, there are others. These are all lies.

 

You deserve to be loved. You are a treasure.You are wonderful.You are not forgotten. There is a plan.

 

Quiet the enemy's lies with truth from God's Word. "When there is a fight between your heart and your head, experience has taught me that the best thing to do is pick up your Bible and remind yourself of what God says. ... You need to return to the truth of God's Word that will last forever, not meditate on circumstances that will change and fade." (Undaunted Caine) God's Word is the only absolute truth. It is unchanging, unwavering, and always consistent. Be in the Word.

 

I also think it is very important to have 3 certain types of people in your life: a single friend, a friend that hasn't been married long, an an older friend that has been married for a while. They all need to point you back to the truth of God's Word, give sound advice that aligns with Truth, and won't be  afraid to call you out on stuff.

 

I love weddings, but I would be lying to you, if I told you I jumped up and down every time I received an invitation in the mail. Sometimes it is just plain hard to be excited for your friends when you feel like you are missing out. One of my best friends gave me great advice. She reminded me that none of these girls were marrying my man. He was still out there, waiting for me. Just because my friends are getting married and moving on, doesn't change anything from the plan God has for me. Instead of being sulky and bitter, I needed to choose to rejoice for my friends. I have clung to that piece of advice through a couple of wedding seasons, multiple babies being born, and friends buying houses. I am so grateful I have a friend who loves me enough to tell me in truth and love to get over myself. :)

 

I called my dad sobbing the other day. (I hate being an emotional girl. I am not even sure why I started crying that day, but I ended up crying because I am still single, and it doesn't feel fair, and its wedding season.) My dad is the kindest, wisest, and godliest man I know. He reminded me to wait on God's timing. I told him that it felt like it was never going to happen for me, I was going to be alone forever. He then told me, "Michelle, I really don't think so. God has a plan, and you are in it." What wise words. It stopped me mid sob. I needed that truth in that exact moment. God does have a plan, and I am in it. I am so thankful I have a dad who will tell me truth, even if I am an emotional basket case.

 

One of my best friends is just like me. We're two peas in a pod when it comes to being single, loving Jesus, and wanting adventure. We often have long talks, multiple nights a week. We talk about everything under the sun. Often the topic of marriage and our future husbands come up. We pray together, laugh together, and share dreams together. When she speaks truth into my life, it is sometimes softer than someone else's voice. She understands my struggles, because they are her struggles. She will let me talk all of my frustration out, then will ask a question that makes me really think, and points me back to truth. She doesn't fall for my excuses, and won't let me make them. She knows me too well. She doesn't beat around the bush, and I trust what she says, because I know she is actually saying it to both of us. It is such a blessing to be best friends and single together. I often pray that our husbands show up the same day, so the other is not left behind.

 

I also have a friend that has been married around 10 years. She gives me occasional glimpses into her marriage that are truthful. She doesn't pretty up situations, or act like marriage is always the easiest thing ever. I really appreciate her honesty that marriage is hard, but worth it. Years ago she told me that some mornings when she wakes up, she doesn't feel like loving her husband, but that love is a choice, not a feeling. It is shown in actions, not just by words. I am so thankful I have her giving me real, truthful wisdom.

 

Honestly, I didn't want to write this blog. I didn't want to share my struggles with people I don't even know. I wanted to avoid talking about how I cry far too much, how I often struggle with being content, and how I often believe the enemy's lies. I didn't want to appear desperate, emotional, or crazy. But I know this is what I was supposed to write today. I am a work in progress, and God is teaching me daily what it means to find contentment in Him. Today just seems like it is a bit more of a struggle. So, I pray something in here made sense, and that God can use it for His good, because I feel like a bit of a tired mess today.

 

Thank you for joining me on this journey! It really has been incredible.

 

Have a lovely afternoon.

 

Love, Michelle

 

Thursday's question: Who in your life brings you truth and points you back to the Bible?

 

 

 

GiveAWay Info: I will be giving a way a prize pack with some of my favorite goodies at the end of this series! There is only one prize. You can enter every day of the week by answering the question at the end of each daily blog. You can go back to previous days blogs for additional entries. Leave a comment with your name, city and state, and your answer to my question to be entered in this week's prize pack! I will announce the winner in a post on Saturday, April 13th, 2013. The winner will have to contact me via email at michelletobolivia@gmail.com with their mailing address to receive their prize. Good luck! Prize Pack includes: The book Praying for Your Future Husband: Preparing Your Heart for His, Measuring cups and spoons, Nivea lip balm, Revlon nail polish, and a Bath and Body Work's lemon candle.

 

The Complete Series:

Intro

Day One: Identity
Day Two: Love

Day Three: Prayer

Day Four: Truth Day Five: Adventure

 

 

Don't forget to check out the other 15 blogs in this series about Intentional Living!

 

linking up with:Cornerstone Confessions

Being Content While Single : Prayer

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome to Wednesday! The week is half way over!

 

Today I want to talk about praying for our husbands. I know, you're single, you don't know him yet. Well, neither do I. But I don't think that should stop us from praying for them. The God we pray to is well aware of who our men are, so when we pray for them, although we don't know who they are, He already does. And that same God, hears our prayers.

 

I want to interject that by praying for them, I do not mean asking God to send them sooner. I have often prayed that, but today I am talking about something totally different.

 

A few months ago two other girls and I did a Bible study. We decided to do a book study, and somehow stumbled upon the book, Praying for Your Future Husband. (This book is part of the giveaway!) It changed my world. It pointed me to Christ, and to the Bible in such a real way.

 

This book encouraged me to pray for my man in real ways. Not just prayers for our future marriage, but actually praying for him right now, wherever he is.

 

This has changed my view of a lot of things. I realize my husband is a real man, right now. He is already born, grown, and living life somewhere. (When I pray for him, I always picture him in Africa, is that weird?) He has real struggles, problems, and disappointments. My prayers right now can effect him, right now. I may not know him, or his exact problem, but I believe that when I pray for patience, strength, and protection, God knows what he needs in that moment, and He hears my prayers. What a unbelievably incredible way to impact his life before even meeting him!

 

One of the biggest bonuses of praying for my future husband, is that it has brought so much contentment and peace to my heart. I am not sure how it works, but I know the more I pray for this very real man, the more faith I have in God's plan, and the more at ease my heart feels.

 

 "Trust also means believing your prayers will work in the life of your future husband even though you can't see him today. ... You have most likely not met him yet, but your prayers will make a difference in his life. As you pray, you too are changed. You're building your trust. You're placing your hopes in God's hands, and there's no better place they can be." (Praying for your Future Husband-Preparing Your Heart for His Gunn and Goyer)

 

Another thing praying for my future husband has done for me, is put things into perspective. When I think about some girl kissing my husband right now, I don't like it. The same is true for him, I'm sure he doesn't want some random guy kissing his future wife. The more I pray for him, the more I realize I want to remain pure for him. I want to save the late night conversations, the flirting, the cuddles, and the sharing of hopes and dreams. It is teaching me to guard those things close, because there is only one man worthy of unlocking them, and he isn't here yet.

 

I have a little notebook with random ramblings. They are letters and notes to my husband. I long for the day to sit down and read them with him. I can't wait to hear his side of the stories of the nights I woke up from a deep sleep with him on my heart, and protection on my mind. What was he doing? How did God answer my prayers? While I was out serving Jesus, was he doing the same? What situations was he in while I prayed for clarity in making decisions? I have dated my letters, in great anticipation of hearing his adventures that just may correspond with my prayers.

 

I know praying for him now is also good practice for being a praying wife, and a praying mother one day. It is a good habit to start now.

 

I urge you to begin praying for your husbands. I have had the most incredible few months of trusting God, and learning contentment while praying for mine. I know it may be a slightly strange concept to some of you, but I encourage you to try.

 

Have a great day! Love, Michelle

Wednesday's question: What are 3 things you can pray for your future husband right now?

 

 

 

GiveAWay Info: I will be giving a way a prize pack with some of my favorite goodies at the end of this series! There is only one prize. You can enter every day of the week by answering the question at the end of each daily blog. You can go back to previous days blogs for additional enteries. Leave a comment with your name, city and state, and your answer to my question to be entered in this week's prize pack! I will announce the winner in a post on Saturday, April 13th, 2013. The winner will have to contact me via email at michelletobolivia@gmail.com with their mailing address to receive their prize. Good luck! Prize Pack includes: The book Praying for Your Future Husband: Preparing Your Heart for His, Measuring cups and spoons, Nivea lip balm, Revlon nail polish, and a Bath and Body Work's lemon candle.

The Complete Series:

Intro

Day One: Identity
Day Two: Love

Day Three: Prayer

Day Four: Truth Day Five: Adventure

 

 

 

Don't forget to check out the other 15 blogs also doing the Intentional Living Series. You will be encouraged! I know I have been so far!

 

 

 

 

 

All The Single Ladies - Part Two

Welcome back for Part Two of my single ladies blog.

Here is the second half of my top ten reminders for single girls. If you did not catch part one, you can find it here.

6. Pray for your future husband. I'm not talking 'the where the heck is he, Lord? Get him here now.' prayer. I mean praying for him right now wherever he is now. Pray for protection, him to know Jesus, for him to learn faithfulness and loyalty, spiritual strength, and even wisdom for his now. The more I pray for him, the more content I become. "Trust also means believing your prayers will work in the life of your future husband even though you can't see him today. ... You have most likely not met him yet, but your prayers will make a difference in his life. As you pray, you too are changed. You're building your trust. You're placing your hopes in God's hands, and there's no better place they can be." (Praying for your Future Husband-Preparing Your Heart for His Gunn and Goyer)

7. Don't believe the lies. Satan is really good at tricking us to believe his lies. So remember: You
will probably not die alone. 95% of singles will be married one day. You do have value in the church. (More value than holding a screaming baby so a mom can attend a service.) You deserve to be loved. You are a treasure.You are wonderful.You are not forgotten. There is a plan. Quiet his lies with truth from God's Word. "When there is a fight between your heart and your head, experience has taught me that the best thing to do is pick up your Bible and remind yourself of what God says. ... You need to return to the truth of God's Word that will last forever, not meditate on circumstances that will change and fade." (Undaunted Caine) For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11

8. Your waiting is not wasted. God's timing is perfect. He is the author of time, and knows what is going on. Wait on Him. He is working all things out for the good, if you know Him. "God knows everything about us. He understands every thought and feeling before we even think it or feel it. Nothing is wasted in His economy, even though we don't see how that's possible at the time. Take heart. God sees the big picture. Rest in Him, and give Him time to reveal His plans for you." (Praying for your Future Husband-Preparing Your Heart for His Gunn and Goyer)

9. Be happy for your friends. Anytime wedding talk is brought up around me, two things are said. "I don't think that 'once a bridesmaid, never a bride' thing is really true." And, "You're so close to being like that girl in that movie, oh what's it called? 27 Dresses!" These comments flow freely after you have been asked to be a bridesmaid 9 times, before the age of 25. I love weddings, but I would be lying to you, if I told you I jumped up and down every time I received an invitation in the mail. Normally my response is to mark it on my calendar, and go cry in bed. One of my best friends gave me great advice. She reminded me that none of these girls were marrying my man. He was still out there, waiting for me. Instead of being sulky and bitter, I needed to choose to rejoice for my friends. So, anytime I see my name in calligraphy on an envelope, I choose to be happy for them. It has really made a difference.

10. Know you're not alone.
You are not the only single person in the world. Find a girl who is in
the same position as you, encourage each other, and pray for one another. Be careful to choose someone who is not encouraging you to be bitter and desperate. You want someone to keep you accountable, have fun with, and talk out your frustration with. One of the greatest gifts we have, is the gift of friendship. I also have a wonderful group of married friends. Some have been married for a few months, and others have more than 20 years under their belts. Learn from them. Use their
mistakes, trials, and frustrations as lessons. Ask them how they pray
for their husbands, and pray for yours now, even though you may not know him yet. Seek advice from godly women, and remember, you are not alone.

I hope you are encouraged, and are reminded how incredible you are.

Michelle

Linking up to:

All The Single Ladies - Part One

Today's post is not going to be relatable to the majority.

It is said to write what you know. Well, I am a Christian girl, over the age of 25, and single. So, over the next two posts, I want to encourage single ladies in the same boat. Here's my top 10 list of what I need to be reminded of, as a single woman.

1. Being single while trying to remain pure in today's culture is a battle. It's a more than a battle. It's an entire full fledged war. Media has made sex the number one talked about thing. It is everywhere. Movies, magazines, commercials, tv shows, books, soda cans, the internet, and countless other things tell and show us how we should dress to be sexy, how to have great sex, and even examples of sexy men. How can a girl stay pure in this world? She needs to learn to guard her heart. (Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23) She needs to set standards about what she will allow her eyes to see and her ears to hear. She needs to set boundaries for any physical relationships. Young girls have told me they don't need to set boundaries, that they will just make good decisions in the heat of the moment. The only reason I have little regret in this area is because, early on, I set boundaries, and frequently reexamined them, before situations came up. A single girl who strives to be pure, also needs to avoid at all cost, compromising situations.

2. There is NOT something wrong with you. How many times have I heard this one whispered about me or my friends? Ah! I have been told more times to count, that "By the time I was your age, I was married, and had two babies, with one on the way." Then comes the judging glance. Maybe that's just me, but that's what I feel it is. The look of, "How can you still be single? Obviously, there's something wrong with you, if you can't accomplish what I did by your age." Chances are, they don't really mean that. But sometimes, it really feels that way. It is okay to be single, even if it doesn't feel like it. Choosing to be picky is okay. Don't compromise and settle because of the pressure to have a man. It is better to be lonely and single, than lonely in a marriage. There isn't anything wrong with you and right with others, or even the other way around. We are all on different paths. One is not better than the other, they are just different.

3. You do not have to be a boring person. Having a 'life' does not just mean having a man, babies, a mini van, and dinner on the table at five every night. That is a wonderful life, and I would love to have it, someday. Being single means this may be one of the only opportunities you have to go, to do, and to experience. Dream big dreams, and then do them. Go on adventures. I hopped on a plane, alone, and went to South America for six weeks. I roasted coffee, climbed mountains, held sick babies, played with orphans, loved people on the streets, tried new foods, rode in taxis, met amazing people, and fell in love with life. We have a God who goes with us on our adventures, and believes in us. Live the most exciting life you can. There will be a day, I hope, when I have a baby clinging to my leg as I try to cook dinner for my husband, and times of huge adventure will be limited to naptime. I know I will be glad I went, did, and lived life extraordinarily. This is not an excuse to sow your wild oats, and live foolishly. Make wise decisions, and have fun!

4. Fall in love with yourself. It's okay, be a little vain. You're wonderful. Discover what you like, and what you don't. Learn how you like your coffee. Take yourself on dates. Some of my favorite nights are when I have turned off the phone and computer, and baked in the kitchen for hours, by myself. Taking time for yourself is one of the healthiest things you can do. We all are busy, and this is a great way to relax. My favorite ways are: bubble baths, sitting at coffee shops, going to the movies, baking, going for a run, painting, sewing, reading on the front porch, eating dinner by myself, and any craft project. Don't let yourself not do what you enjoy because you're always waiting for someone to join you. Learn to love yourself.

5. Fall in love with Jesus. I know this sounds cliche, but really, try it. Talk to Him out loud while driving, make Him your best friend, and spend quality time with Him. I have been finding verses that feel like they are just for me, writing them out, and placing them all over my apartment and car. Tell Him everything, even when you are angry. That's what best friends do, they talk. Your trust in Him will grow, and you will see Him be faithful. It's pretty incredible. One of the biggest things I learned as I grew closer to Him, was the fact that He loves me more than I can imagine. It is a perfect, all consuming, unfailing, relentless love, that I could never earn.

I hope you are encouraged.

Look for Part Two of this blog later this week!

Love, M

Linking up with: