Update on Nestor

This is the latest I have received from my friend Kathryn. She is back in Bolivia, serving fulltime. I hope to Skype with her soon to get more information. But for now, this is enough.

Nestor, a baby who was extremely malnourished due to a hole in his heart, is now strong and growing! The first picture is him a 16 months weighing 11 pounds and the second is him now, 2 years 3 months weighing 22 pounds! Praise God!

Happy 1st Birthday!

I write this in shock. How has it been a year already?!?! Life is flying by! It has been one year since I wrote this first blog. I never intended on actually writing much. I never planned on people reading this. I just kinda did it on a whim.

Well, 365 days, 4671 views, and numerous countries later, here we are.

It has been a wild ride. I am blown away at all that has transpired over the past year.

So, bear with me, since I am celebrating, I want to share my top 12 moments of 2012 with you, so this is going to be a long one!

One.
Bolivia.
What an adventure. I went all alone, to the farthest I have been away, for the longest time I have been away, to serve people I had no clue about. I lived in Cochabamba, Bolivia for six weeks. I fell in love with the culture, with the people, and the country. I went to work with orphans, and I did, but I fell in love with kids on the street. My heart broke for them. I then know that I want to be in fulltime missions, loving people that have often been forgotten about. I long for the day to be in South America again.

Two.
Andrew.
I nanny fulltime, when I'm not out saving the world. :) The family I nanny for has a little girl who is my absolute best friend. I love her more than I have ever loved a person. She had a little brother born earlier this year. I was nervous, could I love him too? Well, without a doubt, he has my heart. He is the reason I love early mornings, because we get to cuddle. These precious babes are everything to me, and have enhanced my life like I never thought possible.

Three.
Karen.
Karen is the little girl I sponsor through Compassion International. She lives in Cochabamba, Bolivia, and I was able to meet her, and spend a day with her this spring. She is a delightful little girl. She just turned 6 this fall. She is full of life and energy. I was able to supply some basic needs for the family, and share Christ's love with them. It may be the best day of my life.

Four.
Nestor.
Many of you know the story of Nestor. I know this, because I run into you everywhere, and you ask about him, or tell me you are still praying for him. This little baby boy with a broken heart became my baby boy. I fell in love with him, and through him, God helped heal my broken heart. Nestor is in Cochabamba, at a Nutrition Center.

Five.
The Wedding. 
One of my very best girlfriends got married this summer. We met in high school at church summer camp. We only lived in the same state for a year or so, but we became lifelong friends. She now lives in Louisville, and we rarely see each other, but this summer, I flew down twice to spend time with her, and prepare for the wedding. It was so much fun! I love the man she married. He is a good man that loves Jesus, and loves her. It was such a sweet wedding.

Six.
Clarkston.
While living in Bolivia, I began praying to move closer to work, family, friends, and church. I also prayed for a specific amount for rent. Within days of me being back home, doors opened up, and I now live in the most darling area with the sweetest downtown, and to the penny, I pay what I prayed for.

Seven.
Live Live Church.
This fall, I was asked to come on staff at a small church, as their children's director. After praying, and seeking counsel, I took the position. After 20 years of wanting to be in ministry, a door opened up where I am now paid to do part time ministry, loving kids. Its mind blowing how good God is.

Eight.
The Oakland Press.
Earlier this fall, The Oakland Press added this blog, my nonsensical writings to their list of blogs on their website. I was amazed at how this girl, who is not a writer, is now writing, and more people are reading. I get to share His faithfulness, and how Jesus is changing my life with people I don't even know.

Nine.
Pontiac.
I have begun to fall in love with the city of Pontiac. Perhaps because it is broken, I am drawn to it. But I have met the most wonderful people by just loving them, and feeding them on the weekends. They need a real Savior just as much as someone in another country. But while God has me here, I want to love here. So, I try.

Ten.
Chicago.
On the first day of autumn, one of my best friends and I flew to Chicago. We flew in at 8 that morning, and flew out at 8 that night. We had no plans, no agendas, no expectations. We just spontaneously went. It was the most beautiful day. We rode the ferris wheel, we ate a hot dog from a street cart, we shared Jesus over a cup of coffee to a man, we just lived life to the fullest.

Eleven.
Random friends.
This year was a year filled with amazing friends. People I had just met, or relationships 20 years old were flourishig into friendships. I havefriends in almost 20 states, and multiple countries around the world now. I have become very good friends with the strangest group of people. People that don't dress like I do, talk like I do, or even believe like I do. I am honored to have the friends I have. I never thought one of my best friends would be gay, or another friend would have never before stepped inside a church. But Jesus has given me new eyes this year, to really love like He loves. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love these people with everything in me. I am so blessed they allow this crazy girl to be apart of their lives.

Twelve.
He is real.
Over the course of a few events earlier this year, I realized how real our God is. He revealed Himself in ways that blows my mind. He is faithful. He is close to the broken hearted. He is the one that comforts my soul. He is my best friend. He is real. He is more than just Sunday morning church. He loves me more than I could ever begin to comprehend. I have His favor. I am His beloved. He doesn't change. He is always good. He alone conquered sin, hell, death, the grave, and Satan himself. He brings joy in the sadness. He brings peace. I have purpose, only because of Him.

So, if you actually made it this far, thank you. I know that was a lot to read. My heart rejoices, after being reminded of such a special year. I wait eagerly to see what is coming up in the next year. I know its going to be big!

Thanks for supporting me by reading!

Have a great day!

Love, M :)

Update on Nestor

The other day, I received a message from my good friend in Bolivia.

She has been my connection to what is going on there. She has been able to go and hold babes that I can't right now. I am so grateful to have her be my eyes and ears in Cochabamba, Bolivia.

Here is part of her email.

i just spent the afternoon with nestor and juana and things arent good.  His heart (where they operated) is infected, and he has what looks like a swollen knot on his chest showing it.  he has been running a fever for a while.  he needs to be back in the hospital and they need to do a test (i think it is like a scope) to see into his heart what is going on.  The doctors need him in the hospital for 3 weeks to treat this.  This is going to cost 15,000 bs or about $2,170 (they say, though it could be more or less depending on how long the treatment takes.  we plan on going tomorrow to the tv station at hope and pray they will allow juana to give an interview for free that they will broadcast as a fundraiser.  we are also asking the foundtation that helped with the surgery to help again.  we are hoping and praying that with these efforts, God will provide the money.  We are trying to get this all done quickly, because this infection could be fatal if it is not treated.  Please please pray hard that the money comes in and that Nestor may be healed completely.  Juana was in tears today.  My heart is so heavy for this family.  However, Nestor has put on 3 kilos (like almost 13 pounds) and looks so much healthier because of this!  He also has started smiling and laughing.  He is anxious to try to push himself up and he seems like he has a fighting spirit within him.  He has also started making some noises and loves sticking out his tongue.  on and the best part... he has a mohawk.
So, please, please, please, pray for Nestor with me. Pray for complete healing in his little body, and for his family to know Jesus.

Thanks to everyone who has been following his story. It brings tears to my eyes, and joy to my heart to know that you, who have never met this baby, love him, and ask about him.

Thank you for encouraging me, and for praying.

Have a wonderful Wednesday.

Love, M

Update.

So, baby Nestor did not have his surgery (to fix the hole in his heart) yet this week. (Read previous blog)

He is currently in the hospital for observation and is having a lot of testing done. I don't know many details, but it sounds like surgery is intended for Monday.

Please keep this baby boy in your prayers.

Also please be praying for my friend Kathryn as she is still recovering from her own surgery. Pray that God gives her the words to love and witness to this family in a hard time. Pray for strength, especially emotional strength. I know she is feeling exhausted and drained. Pray for doors to be opened and hearts to be softened to hear about the real Jesus.

Kathryn shared this with me earlier this week. "It is long and draining.  monday, i spent most of the day over there and it was just heartbreaking.  he needed an ekg done and it took four of us to complete it.  (i was in charge of the computer).  it was just so sad to see his little body laying there and to see his little bones and hips. His hips could not have been more than 6 inches in diameter and his bones the size of a quarter.  i do not know if i will ever get the picture of him laying there out of my head."

I am once again having a hard time not being in Bolivia. Prayers are welcome for me to have peace and contentment while in the states.

More news...I am moving!! Not to South America...yet, lol. But I am moving about 30 minutes north. It has been an incredible journey. Things I prayed for to the tiniest detail are happening. I am moving to an apartment right in an adorable downtown with a friend who shares my heart for missions. I am excited.

I have really struggled with signing a lease and making a commitment to being here, but slowly and surely I am being reminded God has me here for a purpose and He is using me here.

I am moving this weekend, and still need to pack and find people to help me move. Bah. So prayers for peace and a very productive weekend are appreciated.

I sometimes feel like this blog is me sharing bits of my heart and asking for prayer. And sometimes I feel "bad" about asking for prayer. But, there is power in prayer. I will not be ashamed. I need prayer.

 I need Him.

James 5:16 The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

So please join with me and pray for baby Nestor.

My God is good. He is sovereign. He is healer.

Love, M

He is 17 months old and 11 pounds. His heart problems have kept him from growing and developing properly.

It's time to tell

There is a story I have been wanting to tell for weeks.

This story and the people in it are so very dear to me.

I have attempted to write it many times, but felt the strongest feeling that it wasn't time.

I believe now is the time to share.

I have tried to be open and vunerable when blogging. I want to be real, and share my heart.

This is a hard one.

So here it goes...

When I was in Bolivia, I fell in love with a baby. His name is Nestor. He is a sweet baby boy. He has a hole in his heart. He lives at the Nutrition Center. He needs surgery to live.

His mom visits every day to feed her baby. She holds him and talks with him. She is exhausted, but the love for her baby is evident.

I met them both my fourth or fifth week in Cochabamba. I immediately fell in love. My heart broke when I realized how old he was, and how tiny he was. I heard his mother explain how expensive his surgery is, and how she didn't know how it was going to work out. They were instantly tattooed onto my heart.

The same week, I was really studying God's word, and discovering how we are commanded to love and care for the poor.

I was so convicted one day while praying outside, I went inside and grabbed money from my "fun budget" and came downstairs. I gave the money to my roommate Kathryn. She had been praying about how to provide for this baby at that same moment. We cried and talked as we realized this was just the beginning of an amazing story.

At any given time, we both could've logged onto our blogs and begged for the money needed for his surgery. But we never felt peace. I wanted to do this myself. But the Lord was telling me He had it under control.

So I waited.

What comes next is awful.

I received an email from my mom a few mornings later telling me in one short line that a baby in our family had gone to be with Jesus via sids.

I am thankful there was no one at the house when I read that email. I was devastated. My heart had been broken caring for the broken in Bolivia. And now God had taken away my cousin's baby???

I was furious. I layed on the floor of my living room and wept. I was mad. I wish in that moment I was with my family. I didn't understand. Maybe I misread those awful words. How could this happen? Where was my God? I am serving Him and his people, and He devastates my family back home? It wasn't fair. Not only was this beyond awful, I was in a totally different continent, left to figure and sort it out myself.

I was a mess.

I couldn't even begin to imagine how family was back home.

I pushed harder into loving people in Bolivia. But in my heart, I was angry. I was angry at God.

I remember in those darkest hours, I would say over and over, "Jesus, You have to be everything You said You are. If You're not, nothing makes sense."

Well, He is everything He claimed to be. He conquered sin, death, hell, the grave, and Satan himself.

He comforts in the darkest moments, and His love is deeper and wider than anyone could ever begin to imagine.

I had just been studying about anguish and how He can turn our weeping into dancing. It didn't mean much when I was reading it days before. But right then, I was daring God to do what He claimed He could.

The following morning, I sat down to check my email with my coffee in hand.

I had received an email from someone my family. The email explained a little bit more than the one liner the day before, and it shares something bigger. He had remembered a few blogs back when I had mentioned a baby needed surgery, but needed the money. He then shared about how God had put it on his heart to give the money. So out of obedience in a devastating time, the money was given in remembrance of the baby our family lost.

No longer was Nestor a baby I had held and loved.

He was our baby.

I visited him the day before I left Bolivia. I held him. I prayed over him. I sobbed reflecting on the loss my family was experiencing back home. I told him, "God has big plans for you. You are going to grow up. You are going to be strong. You are going to run. You are going to get married and have your own babies one day. I know God has big plans for you." I cuddled him close. I gave him kisses.

And then it was time to leave.

I hated it. I ran out of the building, and as soon as the warm air hit my face, I lost it. Bent over and weeping, my friends found me.

Nestor wasn't just some baby I loved. He was my baby.

So I came home. The whole trip holding him in my heart. Life went back to normal. I carried him in my mind. Wherever I went, whatever I did, baby Nestor was on my lips before my God.

I shared this story with a few close friends. I was excited to see what was next for him. I urged many people to be in prayer for him. He was on my heart.

I hated being in the United States, because I wanted to hold my baby.

A week or two after being home, I received an email from my dear friend and roommate, Kathryn.

She loves baby Nestor as I do. And she has been the most incredible contact person to help be my eyes, ears, and arms while I am here.

She had met with his mother, social worker, Nutrition Center administer, and doctors. She became very involved in their lives.

The email stated the dad (who works in the jungle because he doesn't like to be around Nestor so sick) was supposed to get a pay advance to pay for their part of the surgery costs. The dad had lost his job. The email continued with more back story of awfulness. Nestor's mom became an orphan at age 14. When she became pregnant with Nestor, everyone told her to just get an abortion. She cares for her cousin because there is abuse in that home. Story after story that would make your stomach churn.

One of the last things in the email was saying if his mom couldn't find a way to pay for the surgery, he would be taken away from his parents forever.

Kathryn heard the backstory. She heard the details. But more importantly, she heard a need for more than money, she heard a desperate need for Jesus to step in and be all He says He is. She later told me, this is so much more about just handing over money.

This is about being present, and being Jesus in their lives. A real tangible Jesus. Not a thing we say or do or a place we visit. We need to care about people fully, and without care to how it will make us look or if it will ask us to do more than we are comfortable with.

We are called to more.

So, we began praying for provision.

Once again I knew I could make a couple calls, or blog and the money would be there. I was in the wealthiest country with connections. I could make it happen. But again, that still voice told me to wait. So I did....

Kathryn then had a very scary week. She had emergency surgery to remove a mass on her ovary. (Same surgery my roommate had days before in Michigan) There was high suspicion it was cancerous. Her dad flew down to Bolivia to be with her. It was an awful few days of uncertainty. We are now praising God it was found benign!

I hadn't heard much from her since she has been healing.

But I did get a snippet of information. Nestor will be having surgery May 14th.

I don't know how or why or any details. That was all I received.

Please be praying for Nestor and his mom as they prepare for surgery.

Pray also for a full and quick recovery for Kathryn.

Please also be praying for my family as we still are struggling with our own tragedy.

I know my God is sovereign.

Thank you for listening to my heart. This has been the hardest blog to compose. But I hope your heart will be touched, and you will be encouraged that my God is in control.

I have more exciting things to share about me and what I'm doing next. But for now, that is all.

Love, M

The middle

We are in the middle of a story. It is so intricate, complicated, painful, and yet beautiful.

I am wondering how all the pieces will go together. I am excited to share when the dust settles. It will be a beautiful story, pointing to a Sovereign God.

Until then, please keep baby Nestor in your prayers. So many things to say, but for now, just pray.

Jesus knows.

Looking forward to the other side of this. Love, M

snap shot of the past six weeks

Good morning world!

Here it is. My last day. Ready or not, it snuck up, and is here.

I gave Bolivia my heart, and it gave me the best, most fulfilling 6 weeks of my life.

I have wept, prayed, laughed, danced, ate, held, comforted, observed, fed, cuddled, played, ran, fell, shopped, soothed, researched, worshiped, listened, read, slept, brushed, painted, smiled, and fell head over heels in love. I have lived life to the fullest, and served in Jesus' name.

I will miss so many things here.

My roommate, Kathryn. She can make me laugh in an instant. We both sleep talk in the night, and normally one of us remembers parts of the conversation. (me: I thought there were wood forest animals here.....) She has been the sounding board to my breaking heart. She has prayed for me numerous times and is always encouraging me to "take it to the Lord." She is the first person I see when I wake up, and the last before I go to sleep, normally because she runs into my bed and says without fail, "who moved this bed here?"

My housemates Jonathan and Devon. Two of the sweetest people I have ever met. When I was really sick, Jonathan brought me yellow gatorade all the time. He is young, so the three of us girls have adopted him as our little brother. He is full of life, and is always thinking about adventure. Our last night together, he blew up balloons and brought home ice cream. Devon is my soul sister. We have much in common. Except height. She is 12 inches taller than me. And she doesn't like coffee. She is always trying to spend a little but more time with her Jesus, and I just love that about her.

I will also miss not driving. Hopping into a taxi or trufi and paying pennies to go wherever you want. No more "Voy a bajar a la esquina por favor."

I will miss my street kids. So much. Friday afternoons I will be wishing I was at Plaza San Sebastian feeding, giving medical care, listening, and praying for them.

I will miss the warm South American sunshine! Perfect for awkward tan lines, making me smile, and drying clothes in the backyard.

I will miss the orphanage, and the most delightful kids ever!

I will miss the other missionaries down here, serving. I love their encouragement and love.

I will miss staying up late laughing.

I will miss trying new foods.

I will miss praying over the babies at the Nutrition Center, and telling them God has big plans for them.

Some of my favorite moments:

Being called mom by a beautiful orphan girl.

Meeting my Compassion International girl, Karen.

Getting lost looking for the church.

Finally feeling better!

Falling in love with glue sniffers.



Fresh fruit.


There aren't too many things about Bolivia I didn't like; being sick, no flushing toilet paper, and how time doesn't really matter to anyone, having to turn the water on outside before taking a shower, and dogs everywhere.

There are a few things I am really looking forward to once I arrive home; giving my daddy a huge hug, baking without altitude issues, eating olive garden, visiting with friends, holding babies, sharing what Jesus did, sleeping in my big bed, flushing toilet paper, warm water, using my phone, Target, seeing my grandmother, going to my church, praying with my girls, etc.

God is good! My flight is supposed to leave at 840 tonight. It has changed 3 times already....BAH! I arrive in Detroit tomorrow night, with a lot of layovers and flights in between. Please be praying for safety, smoothness, and God's favor. I brought 100 lbs of luggage. Used/gave away/etc about 55. But then I went shopping, and am bringing 45 lbs of stuff purchased here. Oh boy. Need God's favor for baggage fees for certain!

Love you all! M

I plan on blogging when I get home. Kinda a follow up on what He is doing, where He is taking me, and how I am serving. :)