A lesson from lights in the rear view mirror.

This morning, on my way to church, I was singing along to worship music while driving down the road. It had just snowed, so I-75 was a little slick. I was keeping up with traffic, going a safe speed. It was under the speed limit. So, imagine my surprise when I saw lights flashing in my rear view mirror for me.

I pulled over on the shoulder of I-75. It has always been number one on my list of places I didn't want to be pulled over. But, there I was. Slight panic rose in my chest as the officer walked toward me. He had a kind face, but I could tell very quickly he could turn into the bad cop. He then informed me that my tab on my license plate was expired. I knew this. I then explained my airheaded story. I had been so excited to put my new sticker on as soon as I got it in the mail for my birthday, I ran outside, and placed it on. Well, it had been slightly damp, because of the rain, it lost the stickiness. I was worried to leave it on there and lose it while driving, so I stuck it on the inside of my windshield to remind myself to get a new one. It had just been up there for so long, I completely forgot. The officer was slightly baffled, as he leaned in the window, and saw it.

He then asked for my driver's license, just to check everything out. I reached into the backseat to grab my purse. I did, and very quickly realized my wallet was missing. I frantically looked in the other random bags, but it wasn't there. I then in a very shaky voice admitted that I didn't know where my wallet was, but if I had to guess, it was on the kitchen counter, in my apartment. This never happens. I am normally a pretty responsible girl. I have been so good at having my purse and wallet together.

I must have looked close to crying, because he reminded me that I was not going to jail, and then he laughed. He asked me if I actually had a valid driver's license. When I replied yes, he told me to have a wonderful day, and to drive safe. That was it.

He never asked my name, he didn't give me a ticket for having my sticker in the wrong place, or for not having my license on me. He didn't lecture me, yell at me, or belittle me.

He showed me mercy and grace by not giving me what I deserved, and what I couldn't have earned in that moment.

All I could think of as I drove off, was how often does that same thing happen to me, but with Jesus.

When I make mistakes (sin), Jesus forgives me. Not because I have my act together, not because I'm cute, not because I am doing good things. He doesn't have to. But He does because of His grace, mercy, and love for me.

He loves me. I have His favor. I'm His girl. He has shown me grace and mercy.

It doesn't make sense. It isn't fair. And I am so grateful.

Have a wonderful start to your week.

Remember, no matter the situations you find yourself in, He is there.

love, M

If you have read my previous blog, (Check it!), you know life is hard in my corner of the world. I hate sharing all the uglies, but people have really encouraged me to share, to show that just because I follow Jesus doesn't mean I have perfect days. Even though I'm Michelle and am almost always happy doesn't mean I'm not broken sometimes. So that's life, that's real, and that's that.
I have been wanting to share some exciting news. So, today, in this moment I will.
Number One! My blog has been picked up by the Oakland Press newspaper. It is on their list of featured blogs on their website. It is such an honor to share not only with people I know, but now also with people I have never met, what God is doing over here. (Check it!)
Number Two! I am now on staff at a small church in Auburn Hills. I am the children's director. I teach toddler and preschool age kiddos about God's Word on Sunday mornings. This job is part time, so I still work my normal full time job, and I still attend and serve at the church I grew up at. Nothing big changed, I just am busy teaching Sunday mornings. I love it. The job really is a gift from God. In September, I was in my car praying, and I asked God for a specific amount of extra money a month. (I am trying to be very diligent about saving for future mission trips.) A day or so later, I was asked out to coffee by a woman I didn't know very well. She told me that she and her husband (the pastor) had been praying for a children's director for their church for months, and that God kept putting me on their hearts. I told her I would consider it, and took the next week praying and seeking godly advice. I took the job, and would you believe that I get paid 4 times the amount I prayed for?!?! It's not a lot of money, but the amount I specifically prayed for for the month is the exact amount I get paid per week. Isn't God good?!
So, in review, God is using this girl in huge ways. I didn't finish college, and yet, I'm writing, and in paid part time ministry. That's our God. Moving mountains, and showing favor.
A few of my favorite verses ring true.
Psalm 22:30b-31 future generations will be told about the Lord. They will proclaim His righteousness to a people yet unborn - for he has done it.
Psalm 78:6-7 so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they wouldn't turn tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds, but would keep his commands.
Never before have I been in a place accessible to all generations, until now. I am proclaiming His righteousness and faithfulness, to babies, kiddos, high schoolers, peers, older friends, and even grandparents. These verses were written about me.
Acts 4:13 When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realize that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these mad had been with Jesus.
I don't have a degree, I didn't finish school, and still I am being used. It's incredible.
Please continue to pray. There are seasons when life is really hard. I feel like I'm living there. But even in hurt and confusion, I know that God is good. He is in control.
Love, M.

Dark Days

We have been experiencing some dark days as family, friends, church, and community.

A beautiful, amazing, young girl went to be with Jesus on Friday.

And we are left here, distraught, questioning, numb, falling apart, and exhausted.

I was thinking yesterday about dark days.

The darkest day in history was the day that Jesus died.

We only see our side of the story, after all the pieces came together.

But just imagine his disciples who had followed him for years, giving their lives to His ministry, and suddenly were without their leader and teacher. Hopeless. Imagine his mama, Mary. She knew He was the Messiah, but to watch her baby die in front of her for nothing he had done, must've been awful beyond words. Crowds of people who believed and followed, suddenly doubted everything they thought to be true. Angels could not figure out what was happening to heaven's darling. Satan himself rejoicing, believing he had foiled God's plan.

But God was still in control. He was still good. He was still working in ways no one could fathom, behind the scenes.

Three days later, Jesus actually rose from the dead. The dead, not a nap. He conquered death, hell, the grave, Satan, and gave hope. We no longer have to fear death. We have hope. We have promises. Heaven is real. Jesus took care of business.

So, as we go through dark days, we can know with assurance a few things.

God is still on the throne. He is in control. He is good. He is faithful. He doesn't change when life does. He is working this for good for those who love Him. He alone is our hope.

The one phrase the past few days that has risen above any other has been, "God is good." He is good whether or not we believe He is. He is good regardless of our circumstances. He is good. Always. He is good.

Please be praying for peace, and rest for all who knew and loved Ariel. Be praying that Jesus will continue to be shared, and lives will be changed.

Love, M

A 50 pound bag.

I was just there.

I remember packing. I remember praying. I remember driving around to see people before leaving. I remember saying good byes. I remember get dropped off at the airport. I remember needing God to show up in HUGE ways, because I couldn't go to another continent without Him.

I remember because it was just a few short months ago. I left for Bolivia. All alone. Scared. Looking for adventure. Needing a real God. Ready to conquer injustice. Taking on the world. Saying goodbye to all I knew.

My friend, Lauren in this exact moment is where I just was. She is currently flying from Chicago to London, and then from London to Zambia, Africa where she will spend the next six months loving people.

She came over the other day to pray.

I was really looking forward to praying for her, with her. I was just there. All the emotions running were still fresh. I was only gone for six weeks, not six months, but I can imagine.

So she came over. We shared  our hearts for missions, and stories of a real God.

I began to pray for her. It was easy. How did I pray? I just remembered, What did I beg God for months before? What mountains did I need Him to move? What were things I was nervous about? I was just there. It was all fresh. I believe the Holy Spirit helps us pray. He brought something to memory I wasn't intending on praying about.

I began praying for her luggage to be the correct weight. Out of anything I could have prayed for, that was on my heart the most.

I reminded Lauren that our God is the same God that put planets into orbit, He split the Red Sea, He changed water into wine. He is more than capable to make bags weigh 50.0 pounds.

And its true. I remember fretting for days about my own bags being over weight. 

He is so faithful and sovereign. I put both of my bags on the scales at the Detroit airport on Valentine's Day, and they BOTH were 50.0 pounds. TO THE OUNCE. They were both pounds over when I left my house. He did that.


So, back to Lauren. She just called me a little bit ago. She  was boarding her flight to London. She told me she had to call and tell me about our real God.


She was so nervous about the weight of her bag. She was just praying and praying for it to be the proper weight. She said she put it up on the scale, and it was 50.0 pounds EXACTLY. She was then able to share about a real God and her faith to the airport workers checking her in.
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Are you kidding me?!?!


Scales don't lie. It isn't a coincidence. God is sovereign. He makes the path of the righteous smooth. He listens to the whispers of our hearts. He is faithful. He gives to us when we ask in Jesus' name. He is all powerful. He is God. He is in the business of miracles. He just wants our faith and obedience. He wants to be famous in all of the earth.


What a good God we serve.

Please be praying for Lauren as she travels to Africa, and as she settles in. She will be there for the next six months, and I know is coveting your prayers.

I look forward to watching God's favor and faithfulness our out on her in Africa.

Once she is up and blogging, I will link up with her blog, so you can follow along.

Overwhelmed once again by His goodness, M

The latest and the greatest.

It has been a busy few weeks for this girl. I am finally settled back into a routine. Life is going. And God is good.

The biggest news is I moved! Some people were confused when hearing this. No, I am not in Bolivia...yet. I still live in Michigan.

While I was in Bolivia, I had began praying to move to a very specific area with a very specific price range. That price range was a few hundred dollars less than what apartments are rented for in that area. But I knew what I could afford, and where I wanted to be, and I just kept praying. My first night home from Bolivia, I drove around this area looking for places for rent. There were none. I continued praying. Three days later my uncle text messaged me that he had helped moved his friend's daughter from a place (my area I wanted!) and didn't know if I was interested.

It wasn't hugely public knowledge that I wanted to move there. So he gave me some contact info. I then emailed, and was told it wasn't up for rent, and that the current renters's lease wasn't even up yet. I then heard from him a few weeks later. He told me I was the first to be told about it, and as long as paperwork went smoothly, it was mine. Woo. Well, one of my best friends works at the office, and she was the one to call me and tell me it was mine.

So, I now live EXACTLY where I wanted to be. Rent is EXACTLY (to the dollar) the amount I prayed for. I am less than 10 minutes from church, work, my best friends, some family, cute parks and restaurants. One of my dearest friends is now my roommate. I am so blessed.

We are still unpacking and organizing. But it is starting to feel like home.

I was anxious signing the lease. Twleve months here, when I want to be in Bolivia, or somewhere. I was struggling with the commitment of being in one place for one year. But God is good. He has me exactly where He wants me. Already I have had handfuls of people come over and I have been able to share my faith, my stories of my God's goodness and a cup of coffee.

I am so blessed. I have a God who hears the whispers of my heart. He has a plan for me bigger than I ever could imagine. He is using me in Michigan. I am clueless what will come of the next year, but I am excited.

Love, M

Linking to:

Surprise Surgery and His Sovereignty

Monday night I came home to find my roommate on the couch watching tv. She told me she didn't feel great, and was skipping our late night roomie chat and tv show. She said something just felt off in her body. She went to bed early, and I spent time in my room reading before bed.

Tuesday morning I was up at 5, like normal. My normal routine was in motion, until I noticed the kitchen light was on. My roommate stumbled out of her room looking rough. She told me she hadn't really slept through the night, and wasn't feeling well. She assumed it was a kidney infection. I reminded her to go to the doctor and keep me posted. I then left the house by 5:50am.

Around 8:30am she called me and told me she was really sick to her stomach and in pain. I got off the phone and got online, looking for clinics that were cheap, since she doesn't have insurance.

We then texted back and forth all day. She kept me updated with snippets of phrases in the midst of pain.

I didn't realize how badly she felt until later.

She took an ambulance to the hospital and spent the day in the emergency room.

They had found a large mass on her ovary during an ultra sound. They scheduled surgery for that night.

Uncertainty.

She asked me to call her mom and explain what was going on.

Her family and friends all live on the other side of the state, a few hours away. She doesn't really know anyone here, except for me. I am her person.

I arrived at the hospital a bit after 7:30 pm, thinking I would not be able to see her before surgery.

I was able to see her in the pre-op area for a while. I prayed with her. Peace flooded over both of us.

He is sovereign. He is faithful. He is good regardless of the outcome. He is in control. He is not surprised by this. He is loving. He is healer. He is provider. He is peace.

I was able to meet the whole surgical team, and ask questions. That in itself was a blessing. I am not family, and yet they shared exactly what was going on.

She went back to the or, and I went to the waiting area. I updated my Facebook, and began praying.

If you know me well, you would testify to the fact that I am not always calm. I am often an emotional wreck.

Every day since being back from Bolivia I have cried and cried, longing to be there. I have cried, being overwhelmed at the grocery store, missing my babies, seeing a sweet commercial....I am a mess.

But.

God held me together. I was a pillar of strength. It was not my own. I was calm. I did not shed one tear. I did not throw up. I did not sit in a corner and grow grey hair. He held me together.

I trusted God. I was filled with Him. The prayers of my dear friends and family overwhelmed me as I remembered and reflected on who He is, and how He is always faithful.

My roommate's mom had driven a few hours and arrived at the hospital while she was still in surgery.
We got coffee and went back to waiting. I began to share bits of pieces of my story in Bolivia. I shared His faithfulness. I reminded us of who He is. We were filled with peace that is not from this world. We huddled together on a chair and praised our Jesus and begged for healing.

While we were praying, the doctors came out to talk with us. They took us to a back room, and closed the door. We then listened to the surgeon explain that the mass was a very large cyst. It had grown and filled very fast and the weight and position of it has twisted her right falopian tube, and cut off the blood supply to her right ovary. They had drained the cyst, and are fairly confident it was benign.

She was going to be okay. She was waking up in recovery. We would be able to see her soon.

The surgery may make it more difficult to get pregnant one day. But I am reminded of a God that opened the womb of a woman in her 90's, caused a barren woman to have a son, and a virgin to carry a baby.

Our God is greater, and He is able.

I helped her and her mom get settled into her hospital room and ready for bed.

She came home yesterday, and has been camped out on the couch watching movies. Please be praying for her as she continues to recover.

We know God is sovereign. We know He is aware of timing. We praise Him for that. If this would've happened 3 weeks prior, I would've still been in Bolivia. She would've had no one with her. If it would've happened three weeks later, she would've been in Puerto Rico doing missions work. We are so blessed I was here, and she was able to go to a wonderful hospital.

She is going to Puerto Rico for four months this summer to work at a camp for kids and to share Jesus.

I am asking you to pray for God to be two things to her. Provider and Healer.

She doesn't have insurance. She is done with her job since she is on bed rest and leaving in a week. She will soon have many medical bills stacking up. She rode an ambulance, spent the day in the er, had emergency surgery, and stayed the night in the the hospital. None of which will be cheap. We are praying for God to move mountains and provide for her medical expenses.

We are also praying for God to do big things in support for her mission trip. She is not fully funded, and is set to leave May 1st. I keep reminding her that He is faithful. He called her, so He will provide. It was a roller coaster raising funds for Bolivia. But the most incredible faith building thing I have ever done. I love watching Him unravel His plan little bit by little bit as we trust Him.

Please pray for healing. She is beginning to move off the couch and get up by herself. She has a follow up appointment early next week. The doctors have said she is cleared to go to Puerto Rico, as long as everything looks good. She is tired and in need of rest. Her body is sore from surgery and medicines. Please join me in prayer for rest, healing, and energy.

She has much to do in the next few days. I know God will show Himself to be faithful. He always does.

I know this was a long blog. But I just had to share. He is good when life feels so uncertain. He is sovereign in the confusion. He is peace. He is in control.

I look forward to sharing more as it all unfolds. I know she will have great stories. I can't wait to hear them.
Love you all. M.

i don't understand.

Today was a hard day. By far the hardest I have had in Bolivia.

I received an email telling of a devastating family tragedy.

Please be praying for my family in this time.

As I have had some time to begin to process the best I possibly can, I have realized some things to be true.

-God is still God.
-My Jesus is real.
-When life or death doesn't make sense, He does.
-He conquered the grave.
-He is sovereign.
-"Daddy" has a plan.
-He is close to the brokenhearted.

It was emotionally draining seeing my street kids for the last time today. When I walked into the plaza, some girls shouted "Senorita Meechelle esta aqui!!!" They remembered my name, and were excited to see me. Thank you Jesus for little smiles in the midst of tragedy.

I am exhausted. I am spent. I am broken. I am nothing. I need Jesus to be all that He says He is. I need to rest in His arms tonight.

Please be praying for my family and our broken hearts. Please be praying for me as I only have 4.5 days left here. Be praying for strength to be His hands and feet. Be praying for my transition back home.

Love you, M

getting kicked out of a country isn't ideal

Last night I went to my youth pastor's home for a reunion Christmas party for all the high school leadership kids that have graduated.

There are now seven classes that attend, so there were quite a few of us over. We played mafia and banana grams, watched a video we had made five years ago, and all caught up. I was the oldest "kid" there (are you still a kid at 24?!?), so a lot of the younger kids didn't know all of the infamous stories from when I was in high school. I was reminded of one such story that was turned out pretty life changing.

My senior year of high school about 15 or so of the leadership team went on a mission trip to Jamaica. We went for a week, and put on a Vacation Bible School, worked in orphanages, and did work projects at a local church.

This was our third year going to Jamaica over spring break.

At the time, to travel to Jamaica, the only travel documents we needed was a birth certificate and school id or driver's license. I had turned 18 five months prior, so according to the law, I needed a state id or driver's license, not just a school id. I didn't have a driver's license at the time. And we didn't even think about the fact I was legally an adult.

I was in charge of all the craft projects for the V.B.S. and orphanages. We each had a carry on bag, and two pieces of luggage (this was before baggage fees, ah the good ole days) one for personal stuff, and one of random tools, craft supplies, tooth brushes, candy, etc. We weighed our bags, prayed with our families, and left the church for the airport. I have never been a huge fan of flying, even before this day, so there was some excitement and anxiety, but soon we were on our way. We had a layover, but were soon in Jamaica.

We began to pile off the plane, anxious to be there. We gathered in the airport in line to go through customs and immigration. About half the group was on the other side of the checkpoint waiting for the rest of us to get through and grab our luggage.

It was my turn.

I gave Karen, the airport worker my school id and birth certificate. She proceeded to ask my age, and if I had another form of identification. I began to get nervous.

 She called her supervisor over to ask her about me. I was clueless. Everyone else had gone through without an issue. The supervisor came over and began yelling at me. I didn't have the proper paper work...they were going to put me on a plane and send me back to the US...if she would ever come to my country and didn't have the proper paper work, she would be thrown out...who was in charge of my group...etc.

So my youth pastor came over to see what the commotion was about. He explained he didn't know about the paperwork mistake, and explained that we were on a trip to serve. The supervisor was yelling at both of us now.

I was so scared. I hated to fly in general, let alone was terrified to get on a plane alone because I was being kicked out of a country.

They said I would have to sit in the customs and immigration office alone until they figured out what to do with me.

 My youth pastor went to the rest of the group and asked them to start praying. The supervisor went away for a moment, and the original airport worker told my youth pastor and me to go through a certain set of doors.

I was crying and devastated. I had saved money, worked fundraisers, and planned crafts and lessons, I was supposed to be there. I was so close. What was God thinking? Why was everything falling apart?

We went through the doors, and on the other side was our entire group, outside. We were so confused. We looked around, and started to leave as fast as possible. After sobbing for a few minutes, I realized, I was free. We were on our way away from the airport, and I was on the bus.

Karen had snuck me into Jamaica.


We had an amazing week. We had so many opportunities to be a blessing to so many people, and in return were blessed beyond belief. I served the least of these in Jesus' name with some of ny dearest friends, and God used us. We saw kids and adults turn their lives over to Christ. It was incredible.

Any time we saw police, everyone hid me in the crowd. We kept thinking they were coming to take me away for being in their country illegally. I don't think we breathed easy until the end of the week.

Finally it was the day to return to the US. We spent more time in prayer than normal that morning, as I was nervous about all things airport related. We were packed and on our way.

We had to go through customs and immigration on the way out. There were multiple lines, and I chose one, and was shaking as I approached the desk.

I looked up, and it was Karen, the same woman who had risked her job by sneaking me into her country.

She remembered me. She was a Christian, and believed in what we were doing that week. She told me she had prayed for us that week. She asked how my week was, and through the tears I was able to quickly share how God showed up, and people met Jesus for the first time. It was incredible.

Could you call it a coincidence that the same woman who snuck me into the country was the last person I saw as I left the country? Out of thousands of travellers on spring break and vacations, she remembered me? Out of the numerous lines to be in, that I was in hers? That she was a Christian and believed in me and what we were there for? Are they all coincidences? I guess you could call them that, but I won't.

I firmly believe I have a God that takes care of His children, who has perfect timing, and an incredible plan that we often don't understand in the midst of it.

I was supposed to be in Jamaica that week, and there was nothing the government or airport security could do about it. God made a way when it seemed impossible, prayer worked right before my eyes, and I experienced a real God who really does care.

As I prepare for Bolivia in February, I do have anxiety about so many things. I frequently tell God He shouldn't have called me, or doubt that He did. But when it comes down to it, I am going with a big God who brings peace and is real. John 4:4b "because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world." He's bigger, greater, and in my side.

So, prayers for safe travel are appreciated...especially for smoothness while going through customs. :0)

Update: I still need about $1,500 by January 14th...please be praying that God supplies the remainder of the funds.

A HUGE THANK YOU to all who have been supporting me financially, with prayer, cans and bottles, and extra babysitting jobs. You are all amazing.

Love you all,
Michelle :0)