I can't have it all. I can't do it all. There just isn't enough time in a week. There just isn't enough energy in my body. I have limits. I am human.
But as I sit here, in the park, the night is quickly approaching, and so I just let my mind wander.
I think of how hard it is to let go sometimes. And how terrifying it is to grab on to something new.
Summer is coming to a close. Autumn is knocking at the door, trying to be patient, but quietly preparing to rush in.
I am thrilled to be doing women's ministry this fall. I have been studying the book I will be teaching, and have been growing more excited every time I open the study and the Word. My heart leaps inside of me as I think of the lives that God will entrust to us to love and care for. My eyes well up with tears, as I think about how the Word renews, restores, and refreshes, and how there are women that will need that.
My heart is sad thinking of what I am giving up. I love my youth group girls. But in this season, I must be obedient, and let go.
I have been honored to serve at a little church plant as their children's director for the last year. I love their excitement as they shout my name, recite all of their memory verses, and laugh with me as they tell stories. I will miss teaching them. I have one more Sunday morning left in Auburn Hills.
I think there is something new for me. Something very different. Something so huge, that it is something only God Himself could orchestrate it. If I tried, my head would blow up. So I will trust in His timing. I beg for His peace, clarity, and that He directs my steps. And I am excited. There are still things to be made official, before any real celebrating and freaking out can occur. :-) But I really believe He knows my heart, He has heard my tears, and He is preparing an adventure just for me.
So, pray I can find my passport. :-)