It is said to write what you know. Well, I am a Christian girl, over the age of 25, and single. So, over the next two posts, I want to encourage single ladies in the same boat. Here's my top 10 list of what I need to be reminded of, as a single woman.
1. Being single while trying to remain pure in today's culture is a battle. It's a more than a battle. It's an entire full fledged war. Media has made sex the number one talked about thing. It is everywhere. Movies, magazines, commercials, tv shows, books, soda cans, the internet, and countless other things tell and show us how we should dress to be sexy, how to have great sex, and even examples of sexy men. How can a girl stay pure in this world? She needs to learn to guard her heart. (Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23) She needs to set standards about what she will allow her eyes to see and her ears to hear. She needs to set boundaries for any physical relationships. Young girls have told me they don't need to set boundaries, that they will just make good decisions in the heat of the moment. The only reason I have little regret in this area is because, early on, I set boundaries, and frequently reexamined them, before situations came up. A single girl who strives to be pure, also needs to avoid at all cost, compromising situations.
2. There is NOT something wrong with you. How many times have I heard this one whispered about me or my friends? Ah! I have been told more times to count, that "By the time I was your age, I was married, and had two babies, with one on the way." Then comes the judging glance. Maybe that's just me, but that's what I feel it is. The look of, "How can you still be single? Obviously, there's something wrong with you, if you can't accomplish what I did by your age." Chances are, they don't really mean that. But sometimes, it really feels that way. It is okay to be single, even if it doesn't feel like it. Choosing to be picky is okay. Don't compromise and settle because of the pressure to have a man. It is better to be lonely and single, than lonely in a marriage. There isn't anything wrong with you and right with others, or even the other way around. We are all on different paths. One is not better than the other, they are just different.
3. You do not have to be a boring person. Having a 'life' does not just mean having a man, babies, a mini van, and dinner on the table at five every night. That is a wonderful life, and I would love to have it, someday. Being single means this may be one of the only opportunities you have to go, to do, and to experience. Dream big dreams, and then do them. Go on adventures. I hopped on a plane, alone, and went to South America for six weeks. I roasted coffee, climbed mountains, held sick babies, played with orphans, loved people on the streets, tried new foods, rode in taxis, met amazing people, and fell in love with life. We have a God who goes with us on our adventures, and believes in us. Live the most exciting life you can. There will be a day, I hope, when I have a baby clinging to my leg as I try to cook dinner for my husband, and times of huge adventure will be limited to naptime. I know I will be glad I went, did, and lived life extraordinarily. This is not an excuse to sow your wild oats, and live foolishly. Make wise decisions, and have fun!
4. Fall in love with yourself. It's okay, be a little vain. You're wonderful. Discover what you like, and what you don't. Learn how you like your coffee. Take yourself on dates. Some of my favorite nights are when I have turned off the phone and computer, and baked in the kitchen for hours, by myself. Taking time for yourself is one of the healthiest things you can do. We all are busy, and this is a great way to relax. My favorite ways are: bubble baths, sitting at coffee shops, going to the movies, baking, going for a run, painting, sewing, reading on the front porch, eating dinner by myself, and any craft project. Don't let yourself not do what you enjoy because you're always waiting for someone to join you. Learn to love yourself.
5. Fall in love with Jesus. I know this sounds cliche, but really, try it. Talk to Him out loud while driving, make Him your best friend, and spend quality time with Him. I have been finding verses that feel like they are just for me, writing them out, and placing them all over my apartment and car. Tell Him everything, even when you are angry. That's what best friends do, they talk. Your trust in Him will grow, and you will see Him be faithful. It's pretty incredible. One of the biggest things I learned as I grew closer to Him, was the fact that He loves me more than I can imagine. It is a perfect, all consuming, unfailing, relentless love, that I could never earn.
I hope you are encouraged.
Look for Part Two of this blog later this week!
Love, M
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